The Dick & Paula Celebrity Special
- Year:
- 1999
- 30 min
- 33 Views
Let's go.
Letters are fading.
Where's talent?
We have 5 seconds.
- And the letters?
- It's fine.
Did you get that in shot?
Okay, where's Hal?
I can only hold it
a few seconds.
Get the first team on set.
The letters are fading.
Come on, we gotta go!
- She looks great. Come!
- I'm ready.
- Please.
- Let's go.
Quick review, Nicole.
Get out of the
car, run across...
you see the
skywriting, "Help"...
and realise everything's
gone wrong.
It's incredible.
You had it all figured out.
And now it's all chaos.
You need to
project despair.
- We gotta go. We're losing...
- I know.
Make me feel the
whole human condition.
- You know?
- Lock it up!
Can you stop the drill
for 5 minutes?
What's that, "Help"?
- Roll camera!
- Camera's rolling.
- Speed!
- Higher.
Scene 121, take 1!
Action!
Faster, faster.
You're like a zombie!
Okay, hit the mark.
Look up.
Come on, come on.
And good, good.
Cut! We cut!
Nicole, thank you.
That was amazing.
So compelling.
Your body language, it's
so emotional, everything you do.
You get the big bucks because
you make me look great.
Camp David here.
About the ring.
Mary, here's Nicole.
- Sorry to bug you.
- Okay, pal.
- Do I sign the thing?
- Voucher.
Sure.
You get a voucher?
- Did they get it?
- Let's hope.
Our wardrobe, right?
John, take this.
Where do I know you from?
I know you, right?
Thanks.
Chippers in So-Ho.
I waited on you.
What a great memory!
It was a couple
of months ago, right?
But I remembered your face.
And you're an actress.
I'm an extra.
A face in the crowd.
I'll get my sweatshirt.
When do you finish work?
you came with your girlfriend?
It was a guy in drag!
What are you talking about?
- Gorgeous girlfriend?
- Beautiful, whatever it was.
I was writing a
piece on transvestites...
which is why you saw my
"gorgeous girlfriend".
Well if you ever come back...
I get off around midnight.
You need a...
Excuse me, can I borrow...?
Tell me how close I am.
You're from rich parents...
you see a shrink and
you're dyslexic, right?
Thanks.
- That was good.
- I try.
My father's wealthy...
I do see a shrink...
and I'm insomniac,
so you're in the ballpark.
I remember you had
an amazing look.
And I thought,
"Trouble for someone."
Really, I remember
your face.
Who wouldn't?
Please, sign your voucher.
Thanks.
- Lee!
- Excuse me.
Over here.
Sandy, you'll send the
truffles to the president, right?
Tomorrow at 7, okay?
In the park.
- Thanks.
- Here he is.
Sorry.
Ready for our tte--tte?
Absolutely.
Everything in hand.
- Bill Gaines.
- How are you?
Nicole's press agent.
Please, let's not
dwell on the bulimia.
Believe me, Bill,
this is about lots of things.
You said you'd show me
where you grew up.
I did, I promised.
Makes a big difference.
So kind of you
to show me.
lot of people nervous.
Sorry to disturb you.
This lady lived here...
as a child, years ago.
Nicole Oliver. You must know
her. Great actress.
What d'you want?
He's writing an article
about me...
and I'd like to show him
where I used to live.
Five minutes. It'd be
great for the magazine.
Come in and look around.
- I appreciate it.
- Thank you.
Look how tiny her feet are.
Like, this is
where it all began.
Did you have
feet like that, too?
Strange for you, I guess.
- It's changed, I think.
- I hope so.
It feels smaller.
Small?
That often happens.
How long have you lived here?
Never mind. Can
we go upstairs?
- Terrific.
- Whatever you want.
- Is that okay?
- She said okay.
- I don't care.
- Great. Thank you.
I had this whole wall
plastered...
with movie star photos. I dreamt
about being in a movie...
with Warren Beatty.
You had nice dreams.
And I'd lie on the bed naked
and watch my body develop.
"Naked..."
And I prayed that...
my breasts and legs
would be beautiful...
so I could be
an actress.
You cut a very
erotic figure like that.
I have to say it.
Fortunately I matured quickly.
I remember my brothers
spying on me...
in the shower, or they
rubbed up against me.
I empathise with them
totally. I really...
Please.
No?
- Married.
- Happily?
Very.
But you have to work at it.
You have to, if you want
fidelity in a relationship.
But have you ever given
in to lust in this room...
and really let
yourself go...
in a big way?
I can't sleep
with you.
You can't, I know that.
But I had to...
The proximity is...
thrilling...
and irresistible.
- Not that you're not attractive.
- Very kind.
I find you very attractive.
But some things I won't do,
out of commitment.
I hear you. You
don't have to...
I only have intercourse
with my husband, Phil.
My body belongs
to my husband.
Listen, I understand...
But from the neck up,
that's another story.
After your nomination you formed
a production company, right?
Right. You have to develop
your own projects.
You can't imagine the
amount of crap I get sent.
Plus, I'd really like
to direct one day.
Really? Well,
I don't want to be pushy...
but I've got a screenplay
I've written...
and today I thought
it might be...
you know, perfect
for you.
Really. Right now
it's written for a man...
but it could easily be
rewritten for a woman.
What's it about?
An armoured car robbery,
but with a personal crisis.
- Who would I play?
- One of the guards.
It needs a rewrite, with
a feminist statement.
I know you're politically active...
and I think it could
work so well.
I've been working
on it for a year...
and I can't progress
unless a star is involved.
And someone like you, it'd be...
Have you given it to
any actors?
it before they see it...
because I have no track
record as a screenwriter...
although the script gets a
terrific reaction.
- Really?
Great, because I don't want to...
Sure.
He's coming!
Come this way!
Come this way, everyone!
It's him. Come on.
We watch you every
Sunday on TV!
We wouldn't miss it
for the world!
Good to see you.
- Will you stay long?
- As long as I can.
Father Gladden is
our guest, from the TV.
Father, my daughter got a prize
She'd love to have
your autograph.
Entrance into the
Kingdom of God...
is determined by our response
to the neighbour in need.
I don't know what I'm doing here.
Relax, I was the
same at first.
My room's so spare.
And with a Bible!
And the water comes out brown.
I told the handyman. Really,
I know what you're going through.
When my husband went off
with his secretary, I was lost.
Someone said,
"You were raised a Catholic.
How could you consider a hit man?"
And I heard about this retreat.
- But I'm not religious.
- Nor am I.
My life, religious? I've had
two divorces and two abortions.
But to take a break from
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