The Dirty Dozen Page #6

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Order, halt!

How come the band?

-What are we waiting for?

-They're inspecting the guest list.

-What guest list?

-What's the matter with you?

Which one of you wants

to be a general?

Be a what?

Pinkley.

What? What kind of a general, sir?

Just a plain ordinary, everyday,

home-loving American general.

I'd rather be a civilian, sir.

What do I have to do?

You've seen generals inspecting troops.

Just walk slow and act stupid.

Up one rank, down the other,

and straight back to the truck.

They're expecting a general,

and that's exactly what they'll get.

So let's go.

-Move it. Come on, move it!

-Ten-hut!

Present arms!

Move it.

Let's go, move it.

Fall in!

-Pinkley's gonna be a general.

-Why?

-Pinkley's gonna be a general.

-What for?

Shut up and watch.

First Platoon waiting for inspection, sir!

They're very pretty, colonel.

Very pretty.

-But can they fight?

-Yes, sir.

I hope you're right.

-Where are you from, son?

-Madison City, Missouri, sir.

Never heard of it.

All right, major, let's go. We got

work to do. Thank you, colonel.

Hold it down. Hold it down.

You pull a stunt like that again,

I'll beat your brains out.

Major, you d--

Sergeant, fall them into a column

of twos, then move out.

Yes, sir. Fall out. Fall into column

of twos on me. Fall out!

Reisman!

Some people may consider you

a first-class officer.

But as far as I'm concerned, you're

a disorganized, undisciplined clown.

I'm gonna make it my business

to run you out of this Army.

I owe you an apology, colonel.

I always thought that you were a cold,

unimaginative, tight-lipped officer.

But you're really quite emotional,

aren't you?

Clayton, Blake.

-Hey, watch it.

-Look out, will you?

-Hey, hold this.

-All right, let's go!

-Do you believe this guy?

-Okay, all right, we're coming!

Come on, let's go!

You're in the way.

What's the matter with you guys?

-Listen, buster.

-Hands off!

Now, take it easy.

-Just want to ask you a few questions.

-Questions, huh?

Hold him! Hold him!

You son of a. . . .

In the gut, so it don't show.

That's the way!

Talk, you bastard.

Who the hell are you?

-Number Nine, you crumb.

-Number Nine?

-You gonna tell us or not?

-Go to hell.

Hold him.

Where the hell are your dog tags?

-I ate them.

-You ate them?

-You gonna tell us now?

-Yeah.

Yeah.

-Number Nine!

-Wladislaw!

What happened?

They tried to make me talk.

Where the hell have you been?

-Wait. What happened to him?

-He slipped on a bar of soap.

Everybody's slipping on soap.

Of all the miserable. . . .

-Who?

-Who? Reisman.

He had a couple

of those paras jump him.

-Major did this?

-Gave him a pretty hard time.

-Well?

-Well, what?

Did he tell them anything?

Are you crazy?

Three wise men.

"Trust your major. "

I'd rather trust Hitler.

-All right, move it out.

-Come on, move it! Move it!

You'll find this easier

than our jump-tower training.

Action stations!

Go!

Morgan.

-Yes, sir.

-They should be here any minute now.

Get the men together.

I'll talk to them first.

-We'll use your hut tonight.

-Our hut?

Your hut.

Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

All right, lke and Mike.

Come on, get on your feet.

Come on, let's go.

Move it!

What are you, the Gold Dust Twins?

What, you need a special invitation?

-No, sir.

-No, sir?

-I mean, yes, sir.

-Then move it.

That's TS, Greek.

Why don't you tell it to the chaplain?

All right, you foul-ups, come on!

Get over to the MP hut.

The man wants to talk to you.

Come on, move it!

All right.

Stop pushing.

Come on, off it now. Let's get going!

So this is how the other half lives.

Get going!

Hey, we're not going

to the junior prom.

-Pretty sweet, huh?

-No dancing. Come on, let's go!

-They got electricity.

-Nice to be rich.

-Hey, what does he want to see us for?

-A radio.

-A radio?

-Hey, look at those pictures.

Maybe the guards are lonesome.

-Horny bunch of mothers.

-Wow!

All right, give them

a little air, boys.

Move it, Jiminez.

Okay, sarge.

Well, jump school didn't kill you.

Maybe that stuff will.

Your training's about over

and I figure that entitles you. . .

. . .to a graduation ball or something.

You have cups and glasses.

All right, wheel them in.

Shall I say they're

with your compliments?

Hell, no.

Tell them it's part of their training.

Yes, sir.

Where are we?

Oh! Somebody in this truck

has a cold nose.

Get off me foot!

Watch yourself, baby.

-Have you hurt yourself?

-It's a limey barrack!

I'm not one for orgies meself.

-Should've asked for more money.

-B*tch.

You sadists!

-Good evening.

-I'm already too worn out to work.

-Right this way, ladies.

-Move along. That's nice.

Good evening, major.

I could only get eight, sir. It's like cops.

If you want one, you can't find them.

-Good evening, ladies.

-Good evening, admiral.

Blimey, they're filthy!

They may be, lady,

but they sure do mean well.

Hey!

All present and accounted for, major.

You gentlemen will be on duty again

at 0600 hours in the morning.

That's, oddly enough, the same

amount of time. . .

. . .that these young ladies have allotted

to be your guests.

In the meantime, I suggest that

you use that time to get acquainted.

I don't believe that Mr. Maggott

would care to indulge. . .

. . .so I suggest you save some whiskey

for him when he gets off of duty.

Good night, gentlemen. Ladies.

Good night, colonel.

-Are you crazy?

-Let's go. We might inhibit them.

-You want to bet?

-Major!

Yes, you, Major Reisman!

I saw those filthy strumpets!

You're turning this place

into a bottomless pit of vice!

Comes Judgment Day!

And Judgment Day is coming!

Those men, major, they'll suffer

eternal damnation. . .

. . .because of you, major!

Keep your mouth shut

and your eyes open.

You're on guard duty, Maggott.

Want to dance?

There's no music.

Try humming.

All right, girls,

you want to lose those wraps?

-Put on that radio.

-Make yourself at home.

You think those guys realize

tomorrow's Mother's Day?

Is it?

Now they're doing it to music.

-This is a restricted area, sir.

-I know that.

Two groups, three ranks in.

Open the gate.

Come on, let's move it!

Open this gate.

Yes, sir.

Hey, look at those guys.

You can't come in here, sir!

Sergeant, take his weapon.

Take his weapon.

Corporal Morgan. Sergeant, get that

rabble in some kind of order.

Yes, sir. Commander, man to man!

Sir, you are contravening

a direct order.

Contravening nothing!

Fall in with the rest and

speak when you're spoken to.

You heard what the colonel said.

Fall in!

Come on, move it!

All right, you heard what he said.

Fall in!

Come on, come on!

Let's get the lead out.

What's he all upset about?

All right, you bunch of foul-ups.

Come on. Grab a formation.

Fall in there!

Come on, you yard birds!

You believe this Army?

We gotta be losing.

Move it! What's wrong with you?

You got lead in them?

Come on, get going!

Hey, ain't those the jokers that

roughed you up in the latrine?

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