The Dirty Dozen Page #5

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is their enemy, not the Germans.

Well, they know the U.S. Army.

But the Krauts haven't done

anything to them yet.

Very sophisticated.

Well, at least they know the U.S. Army.

You can twist it any way you want.

But the point is. . .

. . .you are their main enemy.

And when the time comes,

you'll be the number one target.

Well, at least it gives them

something in common.

What do you mean?

They've come a long way individually,

further than we have a right to expect.

But not as a unit. Not as a group.

They've gotta function as a team.

And that's what's lacking.

You think putting them

on guard duty will help?

Well, it might give them

a sense of participation.

Why don't you let me weed out

the real morons? Especially Maggott.

I didn't pick these men, the Army did.

And I didn't pick the assignment either.

This is one time the Army's going

with a starting lineup all the way.

-Including Maggott?

-Including Maggott.

-Cheers.

-Cheers.

-We could get ourselves hurt, right?

-Why don't you shut up, huh?

What's the matter?

You planning to save your mother?

Why don't you lay off?

Want me to show you

how to do it, huh?

All right.

Take my arm, put it around your neck.

Very simple, right?

And then it's all in the leverage.

Better learn how to fall.

You'll end up in a wheelchair.

That's what I tried to tell him.

Trouble is you just don't know

how to fall right. Here.

Slob. Ah, that's a bad attitude.

Kind of rough on the little fella,

aren't you? Like to try that with me?

Now, this is really quite simple.

I'm going to say a word,

and you come back at me. . .

. . .as fast as you can

with whatever comes to mind.

For instance, if I were to say

"happiness," you might say "children. "

I wouldn't say that.

Well, that was just an example.

But if I said "ambition,"

what would you say?

I wouldn't say anything.

Well, let's give it a try, okay?

-Weapon.

-Baseball.

-Knife.

-Dodgers.

-Officer.

-Pitcher.

You seem to be thinking about

just one thing, aren't you?

Yeah. What are you thinking about?

Well, you see, I don't want you

to think of just one thing.

I'd like for you to concentrate

on each word I throw at you. Okay?

Okay.

Food.

Cincinnati.

-Comfort.

-Chicago.

-Now, what made you say that?

-That's what I was thinking about.

The hell with it!

Franko, what is it this time?

How am I supposed to shave

in cold water?!

You're in the field now.

Where are you gonna get hot water?

The guards got hot water!

You got hot water!

-You're in the field!

-That's tough.

Right. How come you guys have

hot water and we don't?

You keep quiet!

You keep your big mouth shut.

-We ain't shaving in cold water!

-Not if all you don't.

You want us to shave in cold water?

Why don't you?

-That's right.

-Yeah!

Franko means it.

We ain't shaving. We ain't washing.

Not in cold water!

-Is that right?

-That's right!

The guards got hot, we won't use cold.

And you can't make us!

You're gonna get yourself

into hot water, Franko.

What are you gonna do?

You gonna hang us?

What can they do?

They can't do nothing!

-Nothing.

-Now what are you gonna do?

You know, I think Franko

might be right this time.

Yeah, shaving in cold water

won't make us any better soldiers.

Excuse me, sir.

We got some trouble outside.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hear.

-All right, sergeant. Fall them in.

-Yes, sir.

All right, fall in. On your feet!

Come on, right over here, Posey!

Come on! Dress it up there. Get in line!

What's this about refusing to shave?

Who is refusing to shave?

-We are!

-Who is we?

We!

All those refusing to shave,

take one step forward.

So you want to stink, huh?

And maybe itch too?

Well, that's okay with me

because I don't have to smell you.

Sergeant, there will be no further

issue of shaving equipment. . .

. . .or the use of soap.

And there will be no more hot meals.

Just K rations.

Courtesy of Mr. Franko.

At ease.

-Hey, I really think we got something.

-Yeah, it's what the Navy calls "mutiny. "

No, no. Remember what I was saying

last night about 12 rugged individualists?

So?

You heard them. It was "we ain't gonna

do this and we ain't gonna do that. "

When I asked them to step forward,

even Posey joined.

I'll bet you he's been shaving

in cold water since he was a kid.

Boy, do I love that Franko.

That means that we are going to have

that much more time for work.

Right?

So now, if you. . . .

You "dirty dozen" have no objections. . .

. . .we will get our equipment. . .

. . .and we will start in right now.

Attention!

Ready, hut!

That's very good.

You look just like real soldiers.

Fall out!

Now, move it!

You're still the dirtiest soldiers

in this man's army. . .

. . .and you're getting

filthier every day.

But your training is almost over.

In two days, you'll be learning

how to jump with a parachute. . .

. . .and you'll learn quick.

This training will take place

at a regular Army base.

And I just want to remind you

that this operation is secret.

Top secret.

You will not be wearing dog tags.

You will not say anything to anyone.

Do you understand? Nothing.

Nothing!

One word, one slip

from any one of you. . .

. . .and the deal is off!

And you all know what that means,

right?

All right, serve it up.

All right, serve it up!

Colonel Breed won't like this secrecy bit.

He'll want to know.

-We're still top-priority, aren't we?

-You can't ignore his author--

-Do we have the juice?

-Yes, but Colonel Br--

Then I don't care

what Colonel Breed likes.

Look, you're supposed to be

the liaison officer.

I want you to get orders

to the highest echelon. . .

. . .stating to Colonel Everett

Dasher Breed. . .

. . .that a group, over which he will have

no authority, will be arriving Tuesday. . .

. . .and the identity of the men is secret.

Tell him we got a general with them. . .

. . .tell him anything you want, just get

that West Point bum off of my back.

A general, huh?

I'll see what I can do.

-I know you will.

-Hey, Franko. What is it, man?

-What kind of food is that?

-Pig face, serve it up!

What is it?

I don't know. I never ate

anything like this before.

I've stepped in it a couple of times,

but I never ate it.

What is it?

Did you ask what general?

Yes, sir. Got the same thing again.

No information beyond

what was in the order.

What about General Denton?

When we first called, his extension

was busy. Now he's not there.

Not now.

-Well, what about you?

-Nothing, sir.

Not now, you. . . .

I think they're coming.

Yeah, it's them.

Yes? Sir, they just passed

the checkpoint.

Let's go.

Now. Now!

Sounds like we're running

into a party.

Boy, you don't suppose

it's for us, do you?

Present arms!

Major Reisman reporting, sir.

Where's the general?

He's in the truck. But you understand

that he's traveling incognito.

We thought he might care to inspect

our number one platoon.

If you give me a moment,

I'll see if he's willing to do that.

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