The Distinguished Gentleman Page #14

THE DISTINGUISHED GENTLEMAN - Rev. 4/3/92 69.

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This actually hits Tommy.

the subject.

Celia, embarrassed, changes

CELIA:

My question is, how'd you getnamed after a Memorial?

TOMMY:

Grandma like Jefferson. Y'know,

"Life, liberty and the pursuit ofhappiness." It's a lot to live

up to, so I specialized in thelast part.

CELIA:

And how's the pursuit going?

TOMMY:

Fine...'til I met you. Now...the

better I do, the worse I feel.

They have stopped walking.

together. They kiss.

They are standing close

TOMMY:

So...when can I see you again?

How about dinner Saturday night?

She shakes her head.

CELIA:

How about Sunday morning?

Brunch?

TOMMY:

104 INT. OLD CHURCH - BALTIMORE - DAY 104

In the pulpit, Rev. Elijah Marshall thunders:

MARSHALL:

The wages of sin is death! And

to the man who values Gold over

Goodness...the Lord allows no

exemptions!

REVEAL TOMMY and Celia in the front pew. Marshall

appears to be preaching directly to Tommy, who wears aslightly sick smile.

MARSHALL:

To the man who shows no respectfor the privilege of walking thisEarth, God allows no deductions!

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

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MARSHALL (CONT'D)

(AMEN)

And to the man whose pockets arebulging and whose soul is empty...

the Lord grants no 90-day extension!

(AMEN)

And when the last trump sounds,

believe me, you will be audited!

TOMMY:

(aside to Celia)

This is one hell of a date.

105 EXT. CHURCH - DAY 105

On the steps, Marshall shakes hands with his Congregants.

Tommy and Celia exit the church. Marshall takes Celia bythe hands and kisses her familiarly. Tommy is takenaback.

MARSHALL:

Hello, darling. Glad you couldmake it.

CELIA:

I liked the sermon, Uncle Eli.

TOMMY:

Uncle Eli?

MARSHALL:

My niece says you're not half asslimy as I thought.

TOMMY:

Your niece?

MARSHALL:

That would put you somewherebetween a lizard and a toad.

Quite a step up.

Tommy looks from Marshall to Celia and back again.

TOMMY:

How could I have missed the

family resemblance?

106 EXT. CANNON BUILDING - DAY - ESTABLISHING 106

107 INT. CANNON TOP FLOOR - DAY 107

WHISTLING happily, Tommy rounds the corner and heads tohis office.

(CONTINUED)

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Ahead of him, encamped in the hallway, he sees a phalanxof SENIOR CITIZENS, many carrying placards, and some

camera crews. Tommy adjusts his tie, turns on the charm,

and approaches.

TOMMY:

Ladies! Looking good! How can I

help you folks today!

But Hattie Rifkin and her troops will have none of it.

HATTIE:

Don't "Ladies!" me, you dick!

The camera lights go on.

108 INT. DODGE'S OFFICE - DAY 108

DODGE:

Now let me get this straight. You

voted to make people on Medicarepay more money to their doctors?

TOMMY:

The Medical Association made a

persuasive case. Ten grand fromtheir PAC, plus Christmas in Aspen.

DODGE:

(shaking his head)

Tommy -- if I'm not mistaken, youwouldn't be here without the goodsenior citizens of your district.

You got to dance with the girlthat brung you, son. If you havea bit of business to do, do it

quietly... in the corridors... inthe subcommittees... with little

amendments. You mess around on

the big ones like Medicare, you'llbe dead meat on election day.

TOMMY:

Yeah, well, then it's thanks for

the memories, and on to the next

gig.

DODGE:

Do you know what your problem is,

son? You don't think big enough.

You have a real knack for this

town, but you have the soul of atwo-bit hustler. Listen to me,

Tommy.

(MORE)

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DODGE (CONT'D)

Five hundred thirty-five Members

of Congress. Some are smart, and

some stupid. Some good, some not.

But all of them, son, all of them

consumed by the single overriding

imperative that defines the very

Washington way of life.

TOMMY:

Which is?

DODGE:

Getting re-elected.

TOMMY:

Wait a minute. You're talkin'

'bout my re-election?

DODGE:

You don't know what percent of the

incumbents who ran last time got

re-elected, do you?

TOMMY:

Fifty? Sixty?

DODGE:

Ninety-six. And ninety-eight

before that. It's like that

election after election. If you

don't f*** up, you can be here,

raking it in, for life. Life,

Johnson.

Tommy considers this. Then a big smile.

TOMMY:

I can think of worse places to

get life.

DODGE:

(smiles)

I knew you had it in you.

TOMMY:

So how do I get the Silver Foxes

off my ass?

DODGE:

Oh, throw them a bone... why

don't you co-sponsor a bill for

mandatory universal health

insurance?

(CONTINUED)

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TOMMY:

What's that mean?

Nothing.

DODGE:

It'll never pass.

109 INT. TOMMY'S RECEPTION AREA - DAY 109

A couple of Lobbyists await Tommy. Van Dyke mans thedesk. In come ELLEN JUBA, 40s, and her 13-year-olddaughter, MICKEY, whose pony tail sticks out from herFlorida Marlins baseball cap.

VAN DYKE:

May I help you?

MRS. JUBA

Yes, I'm Ellen Juba. This is mydaughter, Mickey. We'd like to

see our congressman. We live in

the district.

VAN DYKE:

Just a moment, please.

(dials; into phone)

Could you come out? Thank you.

(hanging up)

Be right with you.

(to Mickey)

I like your hat.

Loretta comes out and extends a hand.

LORETTA:

How do you do, I'm Miss Loretta,

public liaison for the congressman.

MRS. JUBA

Ellen Juba. My daughter Mickey.

We'd like to see him.

LORETTA:

Y'all from the district? Up hereseein' the sights? How'd you folkslike some gallery passes? Go on

over and listen to the great debatesof our day?

She reaches into Van Dyke's desk drawer to get some passes.

MICKEY:

We don't want to go to the gallery.

We want to see Congressman Johnson.

(CONTINUED)

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LORETTA:

How 'bout a House key ring for eachof you? Here -- see that? Isn't

that something? Turns into a pen.

MRS. JUBA

You don't understand. We're not

tourists. We're constitutents.

LORETTA:

(helpfully)

You aren't with some organization,

are you, honey?

MRS. JUBA

I'm a goddam citizen! Isn't that

enough!

MICKEY:

We're not leaving here till wesee him!

Loretta exchanges a look with the Lobbyists, who get thepicture. She picks up the phone and speaks nonchalantly.

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