The Do-Over Page #6

---

tangled into some trouble.

Well, I guess that would make sense

why our house was broken into last week.

Did they take anything?

Oh, that was the weird part,

they just tore apart Ronnie's study.

I bet they were looking for something.

Astonishing work there, Nancy Drew.

Anyways, did he ever come to your house?

Did he possibly hide something there?

No.

Ronnie would always meet him

at some biker bar,

this place, um, off of Route 80.

Bing-bang, let's roll.

- Okay. Hey, come on. Come with us.

- I'm going there?

I can't believe

Ronnie used to come to this place.

Yes, shocking.

So, you gonna make a move on that,

or am I gonna do it?

Jeez, her husband just died.

She's mourning, for Christ's sake.

Yeah, then she needs

a nice dick to cry on.

Hey... Encino Man, how are you?

I was wondering if you happen

to know a badass...

by the name of Butch Ryder?

Yeah, I know Butch, and I'll tell you

the same thing I told the cops,

I ain't seen him in months.

Now, order some drinks or get out.

Three Jamesons.

Hope you're proud of yourself,

killing that tiny elephant

and putting his tusk in your nose.

Real tough.

Here's to new friends.

- To Ronnie.

- Yeah. Yeah, him, too.

Good God.

Jameson, man.

Every time,

it reminds me of my 55th birthday party.

Remember that night?

Wasn't that the best?

- Come on. You're 55?

- Can you believe that?

I'm actually gonna be 57 next week.

Where does time go?

Wow, you look amazing.

Well, I eat a lot of fruit.

Peaches are my favorite.

I can eat a peach for about two,

three hours.

Mmm...

You think he's old... I'm 66.

Yeah, I can see that.

- Seventy?

- Hey.

It's not The Price Is Right.

We'll be right back.

Gonna talk to him for a sec.

What the hell are you doing?

Chicks don't wanna f*** senior citizens.

Senior citizens don't wanna

f*** senior citizens.

Look at her, she's so far

out of my league, I can't think.

But she's grieving,

which makes her vulnerable,

which means you have a shot.

Now, first time you feel like

there's a moment, seize it.

Look her in the eyes,

grab the back of her neck,

say nothing...

and then f*** her in the mouth

with your tongue.

- You're a psycho.

- F*** you.

So Benjamin Button here is gonna

buy you another drink.

I'm gonna go look for a canary

and make him sing.

Hey, Bamm-Bamm,

can we get two more, man?

All right.

Let's look at your hand, Grandpa.

I used to be a nurse.

That's how I met Ronnie.

What's the prognosis?

You think you can... save it?

Let's see.

- To numbing the pain?

- Sure.

That is for hitting me with the Winnebago.

Hey, gentlemen?

Anybody using this chair?

- It's yours.

- Thanks.

What kind of hogs you riding nowadays?

I've still got my...

Whoa!

Where the hell is Butch?

What did you do with him?

He's at the bottom of the ocean.

Let me show you a picture.

- You killed him!

- No, no, no! He didn't kill him!

We're trying to find the guys who did.

Then why is this sick bastard

wearing Butch's tats and jewelry?

Because he's a sick bastard,

but he's telling you the truth.

He didn't kill Butch and he didn't

kill my husband, Ronnie, either.

You're Mrs. Fishman?

Yes.

F***!

Butch was diagnosed

with stage-four cancer.

He was given six months to live.

So that's how they met.

Ronnie was working

on some promising cancer treatments.

More than promising.

Butch told me Ronnie developed

a magic bullet.

It was a treatment

that used an MRI machine

to target the bad cells

and not kill the good ones.

I had no idea they had gotten that far.

Well, they were conducting some secret,

non-FDA approved clinical trials.

Butch and some other guys

were the guinea pigs.

- And it was working?

- Bet your ass it was working.

Guys were getting better,

no f***ing side effects.

When Ronnie had to shut down the program,

they both were devastated.

Which leads me to ask,

why the f*** would they close down

a program that was working?

Money. Ronnie's partner, Shecky,

Arthur Sheck, he was the money guy.

He called up one day,

suddenly the funds had dried up,

and they had to cancel

all these research programs.

- That must have been one of 'em.

- Yes, ma'am, it was.

Until Butch and your husband

took matters into their own hands.

- What does that mean?

- It means Butch started knocking off banks

to have enough money

to continue the treatments.

Holy sh*t.

When he got that pretty little face of his

on the FBI's Most Wanted List...

they sent me down to Puerto Rico

to set up their secret hideaway.

But I guess they... never made it there.

Wait a minute.

You're Dakota?

Yeah.

"Dakota sounds hot."

Oh, f*** you.

Sounds like you and Butch

were pretty close.

He knew me like no other man

had ever known me before.

Tough, but tender.

What's this now?

We were f*** buddies for years.

Until Dr. Ronnie came along

and stole his heart away.

No disrespect.

Oh, sh*t, you didn't know?

Oh, sugar... I am so, so sorry.

- This explains a lot.

- The thing is,

Dr. Ronnie and Butch were killed

not because they were

in love with each other,

or knockin' off banks...

because they were trying to cure cancer.

Which is f***ing disgraceful.

This gets me so goddamn upset.

That brings back some nice memories.

You know, I gotta give you credit.

You rock that jewelry real well.

You know, that's how we met.

I'm a jewelry designer.

- Oh.

- And Butch, that boy loved his bling.

Oh, yeah?

Did you make Dr. Ronald's

tongue ring, too?

I like it, it's fun.

Yeah, that's one of mine.

But... that ain't a tongue ring.

That's a cock stud.

What? What?

I can't believe you let me put

a cock stud in my mouth!

I can't believe my husband had

a cock stud in his cock.

Yeah, that's worse.

Come on, that's worse.

Don't be a baby.

- And Max...

- Yeah.

If you need some place to lay low...

you can always shack up with me, baby boy.

Yeah, that's very sweet of you, Dakota.

I just don't know how safe

that would be for me or you.

I know you wanna kiss me...

but I'm not your Butch.

I'll never be Butch.

What I can do is give you a mental image

to go enjoy yourself later with.

You're a bad boy.

Oh, choke on it, baby, choke me.

Is this your friend?

Ooh... Oh, yeah.

Did he just cum in his pants?

The Gymnast.

No!

- What are you doing? Go that way!

- Donuts!

Where am I?

You cannot find me?

I ain't afraid of you,

I ain't afraid of f***ing nothing!

You don't kill me. I kill you.

And the Russian judges give that

a what-the-f***-just-happened-there?

I can't believe that guy found us!

What do we do?

We gotta hide out somewhere.

My mother's summer cottage.

- Your mother's cottage?

- Yeah.

You don't wanna drag her into all this.

It's all right.

She's senile as hell now.

She sat on the toilet

the other day for six hours

thinking she was on a bus to Disney World.

They could torture the sh*t out of her.

She wouldn't cough up a word.

Not many houses on this island.

Oh, yeah, we're secluded.

No one's gonna find us here.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes