The Do-Over Page #7

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Hey, check this out.

- That old YZinger? You have that still?

- Yeah!

You were a mad man on that.

I could never pop a wheelie,

but guess who got me that thing?

- Who?

- Your dad.

- My dad?

- Your dad, after my father died.

He did stuff like that all the time

for me, I'll never forget that.

Just looked out for me

when I was growing up.

Sounds like a good man.

- The best.

- If he's such a good man,

why didn't he give me one?

Well, look at you.

You were good at reading.

Just stick with that. Come on.

"Look at you."

That's the only answer you have.

My mother is gonna be psyched to see you.

How senile is your mom?

Will she remember me?

Of course,

she talks about you all the time.

- Oh!

- Mom!

Mom! What are you doing?

The fridge! The fridge!

Come on, the pizza guy, the president,

the mailman, the gardener, the me!

I called you on the phone, remember?

That's why you set dinner up for us.

Oh!

Max!

Ah, there you go.

Oh, a jump.

I love you.

Look who's here.

Sonny Bono and Donna Summer!

What hurt more?

The frying pan or the Sonny Bono thing?

It's all pretty bad today.

I still can't believe it.

My Maxi's best friend,

little Charlie McMillan.

You know, after all these years,

he never stopped talking about you.

- How you're so successful.

- Mmm-hmm.

Became the big branch manager

of Save & Pay Supermarkets.

You got a good memory, Mom.

I hear you married the prom queen.

What was that whore's name again?

Uh, Nikki.

And we're not married anymore,

Mrs. Kessler.

She wasn't very nice to me.

Good, I hope you didn't catch

any sores from her filthy...

you know...

vagina.

Oh...

No, there was none of...

That wasn't the reason.

Hey, who's that cute kid on the fridge?

Little Maxi. Isn't he gorgeous?

He's coming to see me next week.

What the hell are you talking about?

Visit you next week? That's me, Ma.

You're Little Maxi?

No, I'm Big Maxi!

You remember the Save & Pay job,

but you don't remember I grew up?

Uh... I remember you loved

that little Jimmie Walker T-shirt.

See, I love how he remembers

this stuff and... and you...

I just wish you showed up at my funeral.

Maybe, uh, that's what's bothering me.

You're a ghost?

Oh, I'm so confused.

It's not you, I'm sorry.

Don't be upset. I love you.

I know, you're just old... and crazy.

Hey, one thing you shouldn't

be confused about...

I don't work at Save & Pay.

I work... I work in the bank inside of...

I'm a bank manager.

Hey, guys, I just got

off the phone with Shecky.

He has no idea Ronald's dead.

I didn't have the heart to tell him.

Or he's pretending he has no idea.

Everybody be cool.

It's probably just the fuse box.

Happens all the time.

I don't know,

somebody could be out there, Max.

Ma, where's my bag?

- I don't remember.

- Yeah, that's a shock.

Found it.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

You know, I'm the kind of guy

who always carries

a rubber in my wallet...

...and an umbrella in my trunk.

'Cause you never know

when you're gonna f*** in the rain.

Max!

Ma, you know you f***ed in the rain.

Relax.

That's true.

And the snow.

- Yeah!

- Max, wait.

You don't know if it's safe out there.

Yeah? For who?

Yep, it's the fuse box!

Holy f***!

Stupid, selfish, son of a b*tch!

- Whoa!

- I am so tired of these games!

I know you are!

Whoa, whoa. Whoa!

I can't do it.

You need to come back to me.

I need you.

You need me.

Oh! Who's this sexy b*tch?

I'm his mother.

Not you, Ma.

Becca, it's not what you think.

Oh, no, of course not.

Because your mother knows

the world of pain that I'm in right now.

Would you just please

put the gun down so we can talk?

I can't believe...

I just cannot believe that this is how

you would want to end everything.

- I just wanna talk to you.

- Listen, you're sick, Max.

- You're sick.

- I know, I'm sorry.

I just don't understand.

Why wouldn't you want to spend

every last minute with me?

I'm your family.

I'm your family.

- I know.

- You don't know!

- All right!

- You have no f***ing idea!

We'll give you guys

some privacy.

- Get a hold of yourself.

- I'll take this, too.

You gotta just walk away.

Just say goodbye.

Just say goodbye.

That's it.

All right.

Say goodbye to this.

You gotta go! Go!

I'm going!

Then go!

- Shut the door.

- Get over here. Get over here.

They are f***ing crazy.

Ma! Ma, get the f*** out of here!

It's so f***ing hot

how you tracked me down, woman.

I would follow you

to the pits of hell, you f***er!

Yeah, well, I'm smelling

your pits as I f*** you silly.

Oh, that got me!

Oh, I'm coming!

Oh, smell my feet.

Whoo!

I wish I was senile now.

Can I ask you a question?

Yeah, sure.

What was so terrible about your life

that you wanted a whole new one?

Oh...

Well, for starters,

it kind of wasn't my choice.

I got forced into it.

But... it is nice to have

another opportunity

to try to become the person

that I should have been.

And who's that?

I haven't figured that part out yet.

Well... we should probably

get some shut-eye.

Uh... why don't you take the bed

and I'll... I'll take the couch.

Actually, I would feel much safer

if you slept in here with me.

Um...

Do you mean share this bed?

No. I mean, you take the floor,

I take the bed.

- Oh, yeah, sure.

- Of course.

Oh, Charlie, I'm kidding.

Come on, we're adults.

I think we can share the bed

for one night.

- Really?

- Okay.

Well, you don't have to worry about me,

because I stayed in the same bed

with my ex-wife for... four years

and I don't think we touched toes once.

You know,

you forget who you're talking to.

My husband had a stud in his thingy

and I never even knew.

The truth is,

I could have a telephone pole through

my dick and she would never have known.

You're funny, Charlie.

You're a funny, nice guy.

Hey, where'd Becca go?

Oh, I broke up with her again.

She's psychotic.

How'd it go with you and this chick?

You take my advice?

Yeah, it went okay.

What? You kidding me?

Dr. Ron's corpse is not even cold yet

and you're f***ing his widow?

Are you an a**hole?

No... No, you said it was okay.

Are you...

It is okay, I'm f***ing with you, brother.

Look how happy you made her.

Welcome to Old Willow.

- Heather, Heather, Heather.

- Aw! It's so good to see you.

Come on in, gentlemen.

Come on.

I just made some sweet tea.

Ronald's dead.

I can't believe it.

Believe it now, Shecky?

Oh! Oh!

- Max, enough with the pictures.

- He said he didn't believe it.

- I believed it. I'm just in disbelief.

- Oh, okay.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's been an emotional week.

I lost my mama on Monday.

And then I found out

all the medical supplies I donated

to the Burmese drought victims...

were stolen by the rebels.

The soup kitchen I volunteer at...

burned down.

Whole city smelled like...

ashes and Campbell's Chunky.

Sweet kicks, though.

- Huh?

- Where'd you get 'em?

I know a guy at Nike.

Sh*t, I wish I had a pair that nice,

but...

I don't know a guy at Nike.

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