The Do-Over Page #9

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if you're such a good guy?

They was gonna kill us

if we didn't stop the trials.

Stay with me, Shecky!

Stay with me.

Come on.

You're all right.

You're all right.

Oh, God.

Who's "they," Shecky?

Trojgaard are the world's largest

chemotherapy company.

- Trojgaard.

- Ronald didn't wanna sell 'em the drug,

because he knew they would bury it.

Why would they bury it?

A drug like that would be

worth billions of dollars.

A drug that replaces chemo...

would ultimately cost them...

trillions.

- Wait.

- What?

Make sure all my money

goes to cancer research.

Yeah.

You can... have my Nikes.

I know you had your eyes on them.

You really are a good guy.

Tell Mama I'm comin'.

Shecky. Shecky!

I forgot to ask you, who killed you?

Shecky!

Who did this to you?

I think I have a clue.

Please open up, it's Charlie McMillan.

I need to talk to you.

Please, it's about Max.

I think he's in trouble.

Wow.

Look at all these fun toys

we have to play with.

I'm a bit of a handyman.

If you untie me, uh...

I could show you how to use that sh*t.

I think I can figure it out myself.

Zip, zap, zee.

Are you f***ing wearing the Nikes?

Those are my sneakers.

He gave 'em to me.

It was his dying wish.

Finders keepers,

lose your sneakers.

How are you fitting in those?

Those are 11s.

You're f***ing nine feet tall.

You're like the Yao Ming of Nazis.

It's not making sense.

There's always a way to make things fit.

What were you planning

to do to poor Shecky with this?

Oh, that's just for my mom's Jeep.

She needed a new gear shifter.

So that's what that's all about.

I think I see

where you were going with this.

You are a sick f***.

Just like me.

Something tells me you're sicker.

It was a miracle.

Then they shut it down.

Dr. Fishman basically vanished,

he stopped returning

any of Max's phone calls.

So finally, one night...

Max drove over to the clinic.

He saw that the lights were on,

so he kicked open the door.

And that's when he saw Ron and Butch

laying dead on the floor.

But why doesn't he call the cops?

How was that gonna

help Max get any better?

If Dr. Fishman was dead,

then Max was dead.

So that's when he came up with this idea

to bring him back to life.

But he couldn't do it alone,

he needed somebody else.

He saw where you were in life.

Uh... these are the...

This is the bank.

He also saw that you...

probably needed it more than he did.

Whoo!

Now, I got a question.

What about this dark wig and glasses?

I don't get that.

Yeah, that's a... a sex thing.

It's a little...

It's kind of personal.

Okay.

Yeah, and I think that's why...

When he was on the phone with you,

and he had the blow-up doll.

What are you talking about?

What did I say?

I didn't say anything.

What are you talking about?

Nothing.

I don't know.

- I don't know. Oh.

- I'm kidding.

No, I bought him the doll.

Oh, f***.

Jeez, you both are nuts.

Where is he, Charlie?

I don't know.

I would tell you.

Dr. Fishman's widow is out there

right now looking for him.

Wait, that chick in the cottage

was Dr. Fishman's widow?

- Yeah.

- I had no idea he was even married.

Neither did Dr. Ron, apparently,

considering he had a full-on

love affair with Butch.

Wow. This all makes sense.

- I never told Max this, but...

- this one time,

I saw Dr. Ron and Butch

coming out of an exam room,

and I... I swear it looked like I had just

caught them doing something nasty.

Oh...

And he said that they were playing Jenga.

Which I guess was, now, in retrospect,

their secret code for having sex.

"Jenga" is the secret code.

- That's what I just said.

- That's the code. That's the code.

Damn it, Max!

Pick up the f***ing phone!

Sorry to disappoint, man, but...

my old lady works my nips

pretty hard at home,

so not much feeling left in 'em.

You should turn this sh*t up.

Perhaps you'll have more feeling

down in this area.

F*** me in the ass!

Yeah, thanks for reminding me.

Sorry, your call could not be

completed as dialed.

Oh, that sounded just like

the recording, buddy.

Whoo!

Come on, Max.

God!

Refrigerator.

Oh, yeah.

This is it.

This is it.

Charlie, where are you?

I can't find Max anywhere.

I found the formula!

- What? Are you sure?

- Yes!

I'm looking at it right now!

Ronald disguised it

as an app on his tablet!

Wow, you're amazing.

You are a geek,

but you are the man.

I'm gonna find Max, okay?

I'm gonna try one more place.

And I won all the gymnastics competitions

in sixth grade.

Then my damned growth spurt.

Seventeen inches in 18 months.

That, of course, put an end

to my competitive career.

Lucky me, I found an occupation

that was even more enjoyable.

Wow. What an amazing story

of personal triumph.

Looking forward to watching the...

30 for 30 on that.

I just wanna say, before you do

what you're about to do...

your boyfriend or husband or whatever

is just a lucky man to find someone

so talented at ass play.

Good on him.

I'm not gay.

Would you like some glass sprinkles?

Oh, come on. You...

If you put that thing in my ass,

you're gay.

I mean, it's cool.

You're in a safe room.

The only one getting f***ed here is you.

Yeah, yeah, but are

you gonna enjoy doing it?

Every last inch of it.

Oh, yeah.

Well, that's a gay thing.

That's... It's not gay.

It's torture.

- No.

- That is different.

Taking my fingernails off,

or f***ing making me stay awake

for 12 weeks is torture,

but greasing up a dildo

and pretending it's your own dick

and wanting to stick it in me,

that's homosexuality.

Textbook.

Are you afraid to tell your parents,

is that it?

You know what?

I'm looking forward to this,

and I'm not letting you

take it away from me

with your f***ing mind games!

God damn it!

All right, all right, all right.

Look out, teeth, look out, gums,

look out, keister,

- here it comes!

- Oh, my God!

Heather!

Get the f*** out of here!

Run, he's crazy!

What the hell are you doing?

Nothing.

Just two straight guys having fun.

Well, stop f***ing around.

Call your boss.

Tell him to get ready to wire me my money.

You lying b*tch.

It was you.

Of course it was me.

Aw, Max.

Did you really think

that a woman in mourning

would let two strange buffoons

in her house,

then run around in a slutty Barbie outfit

and let one of them bang her,

even though he's only 5'2"

and smells like a pile of shoes?

All I had to do was push my tits out

and you followed them

like horny teenagers.

Do you have any idea

how many lives this affects?

Why would you do this?

Ronnie was offered a fortune

to bury the drug, but he refused.

I didn't.

I should've seen this coming.

Charlie's always had

the shittiest taste in women.

Huh, speak of the devil.

Charlie,

I think Max killed Shecky!

Yeah! He's out of control!

You were right, I think he's

just doing this for the money.

You have to leave his mom's house

right now, it's not safe.

Meet me at Factor's Walk in 15 minutes

and bring the tablet.

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