The Dog Page #5

refuse," signed, the boys.

Ha ha ha!

WESTENBERG:
After a while,

we foiled

all these bank robberies.

So John says, "I know a bank."

I says, "OK.

Let's not mess this one up."

[Telephone rings]

MAN:
My shift began

at 5:
00 in the evening.

I walked into the newsroom,

and this was already under way.

They had walked into the bank

at 2:
50 that afternoon

and taken over,

and the editor said,

"Start working the story

by phone, see what you can get."

So I said, "I'll call the bank."

So I called the bank,

and, lo and behold,

this guy picks up the phone

and says he's one

of the bandits.

So I started interviewing him.

He's giving me

these great quotes.

I said, "Are you afraid

of dying?

Could you really kill

these people?"

and I'm sitting there

listening to this, taking notes,

typing like crazy and my mind

is going, "Wow! What a story."

They said, "All right.

Why don't you go down there?"

So I went down to the bank.

It was a circus.

[Helicopter]

I mean, obviously you had

all the cops and the FBI,

emergency vehicles, ambulances,

even a fire truck in case

they set the bank on fire.

You had snipers on rooftops,

and then you had this crowd.

It was just a big mob.

There was about 2,000 people.

They would cheer.

I mean, that was

a Brooklyn crowd that night.

"YO!" Ha!

I didn't see any hot dog wagons

or t-shirt guys,

but it had that same kind

of atmosphere, TV cameras.

It was a full-blown show.

WOMAN:
We heard sirens, so

we knew something was happening,

and we all went.

Everybody was there...

children, parents, everybody.

You know, one person

told the other,

and before you knew it,

it was a mob scene,

and the more they heard

what was going on on the news,

the more people came

from even further away.

You know people come.

They're curious. We all are.

WOMAN:

Oh, there was a mob.

DIFFERENT WOMAN:

There was a mob here.

You couldn't get

down the street here.

You couldn't get down.

The street was

completely blocked off.

On both sides, you couldn't go.

Of course, my

neighbor Gino's...

They had all those news people.

It was loaded with news people.

But I had to go to the city,

Sloan Kettering, with

my mother to see her uncle.

Everybody came from all over

to try to get over

here, everybody.

When I came home, I said,

"So you don't know

what's going on?

They even saw on television.

But the people that were

outside, forget about it.

They were having a party.

It was funny, you know?

Not for the people in the bank.

WOJTOWICZ:
What happened is,

when we went inside the bank,

Bobby walks over to me and says,

"I can't do it."

I go, "What?"

He says, "I can't."

I said, "What the f***

do you mean, you can't do it?

We're in here."

"No, no. I got to go."

So Bobby says, "I'm leaving."

So then I got to make

a decision.

Am I going to walk out the door,

or do I still rob the bank?

I go, "F*** it."

So being I'm a Roman Catholic,

I go, "In the name

of the Father,

the Son, and the Holy Ghost."

I pull the shotgun

out of the package.

I says, "OK. Nobody move.

Back up.

Nobody touch any alarms."

I said, "We're going

to take the money,

"We're gone.

We don't want no problems.

Everybody does what I tell them,

"and everything will be

all right,

and we'll be out of here

in 5 minutes."

So we go, and we start

taking the money.

I think after 10 minutes,

you knew they were amateurs.

They were not

professional bank robbers.

They kind of let us know this.

Actually, this is when the ball

started rolling.

WOJTOWICZ:
I'm going,

"What the f*** is going on?"

and I'm looking in the window.

Then I see them.

In the windows,

on the fire escape,

there are cops.

On the roof, the cops

are standing up,

coming around the corner.

I don't know what went wrong,

but that's why

whenever you see

bank robbery movies,

they go, "We only got a minute."

Now you know why.

[Crowd cheering]

So we're sitting there

in the bank.

Then Sal comes over,

and we're looking at each other,

and he says "I don't know

what we're going to do."

I says, "I know

what I'm going to do.

"I'm going to get Ernie.

"I'm going to tell the cops

to go to the nuthouse

"and bring Ernie down here.

"We're going to get

on the plane.

"We're going

to fly him to Denmark

and get him the sex change

operation."

"You're crazy."

"Watch."

MALE REPORTER:
A bank holdup

is under way at this time

in the Chase Manhattan Bank

branch

at Avenue P

and East 3rd Street in Brooklyn.

What's going on now?

WOJTOWICZ:
We're waiting

to negotiate the release

of the people so we

can get out of here.

What are your terms

for release?

Well, I want them

to deliver my wife here

from Kings County Hospital.

His name is Ernest Aron.

It's a guy. I'm gay-

BIFULCO:
I put the news on.

I was watching it, and I hear,

"There's another

bulletin out now.

He wants to see his wife,

and this is his wife,"

and they put the picture

on the television

of Ernie in the bride outfit,

which I never saw before,

and my relatives never knew

Johnny was gay.

Don't forget now,

this was broadcast

like the World Trade Center.

This is on

all day and all night.

They took Nixon off the TV

to put Johnny on.

So tonight,

my fellow Americans, I say...

BIFULCO:
So they all saw it,

and then I get the phone calls.

"We told you not to marry him.

You see? You see what you did?"

I was getting the blame

for the robbery.

And just last morning...

Hoo hoo!

NEWTON:
He told everyone in the

world why he robbed the bank.

He was being honest, you know,

and I think it was a big

explosion in people's eyes.

"What, a guy robbing a bank

for his...

"Is that a guy he's

robbing the...

I don't understand."

I mean, it was a big shocker.

It was like gay liberation

right down your throat.

KAPPSTATTER:
We blinked.

We said, "What?"

and, "Sex change? My goodness."

This had never really happened

before, to our knowledge,

anything like this.

WOJTOWICZ:
This a**hole

is standing out there

with a bullhorn.

He said, "All right,

you faggots.

We're coming in there,

and we're going to get you."

I said, "What did he say?"

I said, "You call me a f*ggot

one more time,

"I'll kick your f***ing ass,

and if you think

"you're so f***ing bad,

why don't you put down that gun

"and come over here

and call me a f*ggot?

"Because I'll f*** you up.

"Come on. Put down the gun

and come on over.

"You see me with a gun?

I don't got no weapons.

Come on over. Let's go."

Then you hear the cops

cracking up and laughing

because they know he ain't

going to call me a f*ggot

because they done seen

the artillery I got,

and then I knew I'm the man.

WICKER:
I think that

there was a whole mantra

that he played very nicely into.

This was a guy who was wacko.

He's robbing a bank,

supposedly to finance

a sex change operation.

Well, that's not robbing a bank

to take a vacation

in the Bahamas.

You know what I mean?

That's not a selfish, but

supposedly altruistic motive.

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