The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie! Page #7

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and things can finally

get back to the way they was.

(ALL CHEER)

(GASPS)

SUCK MY TAlNT GlRL: Don't you see?

Don't you see? Don't you see?

Wait! Maybe we shouldn't open it.

What the f*** are you talking about, Spanky?

Yeah! Just open it!

This doesn't seem right.

l mean, maybe we don't want a point.

Don't you see? lf l can't fart or vomit

or fill up an ice tray with the

afterbirth of Foxxy's miscarriage

and hand them out as ice pops to

terminally ill children on my hospital tours

without making some kind of point,

then maybe it's just not worth it.

And l don't want to let dead chicks

f*** me in my mouth for social commentary.

l mean, what's wrong with just

doing it 'cause it makes me feel good?

And l sure do like

getting pregnant for no reason.

You know what? l agree with the pig.

Thank you.

So, Mr. Make-A-Point wizard,

l guess we don't want

to make-a-point after all.

Maybe that's the point.

Mmm.

F*** you guys!

l need Drawn Together!

Otherwise, l don't exist!

-No, wait! lt's...

-What the...

Huh?

(SPEAKS BACKWARDS)

Whee!

(ALL SCREAM AND EXCLAlM)

-Wooldoor!

-What the f***, wizard?

l'm sorry. l had no choice.

They said they'd kill me.

Who would kill you?

Hello there, Drawn Togethergang.

(ALL GASP)

lt's a pleasure to finally meet you face to face.

So you the dick that's been trying to kill us.

How the hell did you even

know we was coming here?

-l told them.

-(ALL GASP)

Suck My Taint Girl?

Roved you?

Drawn Together is the lamest show ever!

Watching it was like watching taint dry.

And if l let you get a point,

you might get your timeslot back.

Why the f*** would l do that?

(LAUGHS)

Damn that girl.

Like my lawn after a visit from that klansman

with short-term memory loss,

we've been double crossed.

-Nice work, honey.

-Thanks, Scott.

-Mmm.

-That's right. Suck my taint.

Damn you, Suck My Taint Girl.

You betrayed us.

And then, you didn't

even give us a fair fight.

Sometimes, l don't know if

you're an a**hole or a p*ssy,

or something in between.

(MOANlNG AND SLURPlNG)

Now, l.S.R.A.E.L.,

on behalf of my dead wife and

daughter from a previous marriage,

erase them all!

(THUNDER)

(WHlRRlNG)

Don't worry.

Barney will be here any second to save us.

l just know it.

At least we're going to die together,

Drawn Together.

(LAUGHTER)

Please, l.S.R.A.E.L., l know

they're obscene, pointless rip-offs,

but l... l... Love them.

-(COUGHS) Fag.

Ahem. Jew's a homo.

Move, Jew Producer,

or l will destroy you as well.

You can't do this, l.S.R.A.E.L. Don't you see?

Even though everyone hates the Drawn

Togethergang, they have a right to exist.

Surely you understand that,

don't you, l.S.R.A.E.L.?

(WEAPON WHlRRlNG)

(WHlRRlNG STOPS)

l.S.R.A.E.L. doesn't want to destroy.

l.S.R.A.E.L. wants to peacefully coexist.

(SIGHS) That's all l.S.R.A.E.L. ever wanted.

ALL:
Phew.

No wonder everyone hates you, l.S.R.A.E.L.

You're so goddamn aggravating.

l said destroy them, you f***ing idiot!

That's it! I.S.R.A.E.L. wiII not Iet

you bully her around anymore.

-(GRUNTS)

-(lNDlSTlNCT)

(ALL CHEER AND EXCLAlM)

l.S.R.A.E.L. really is our greatest ally.

(GRUNTS)

(ALL GASP AND EXCLAlM)

That's a bit much.

l.S.R.A.E.L.'s going

a bit overboard again.

(GASPS AND COUGHS)

(LAUGHS)

Why in the hell are you laughing?

You're gonna die.

Because of this.

(WHlRRlNG AND BEEPlNG)

(SCREAMS)

(THUDS)

l have enough e-5 to destroy

all of MakeA-Point Land.

Looks like l'll be enjoying

the Drawn Togethergang in hell!

(LAUGHTER)

You gots a real weird sense of humor.

Hero, do something!

l miss Molly! (CRlES)

Looks like it's up to ol' fatass again.

Unh!

(GRUNTS)

(GASPS) Whoa.

That is totally not what l meant to do.

The Drawn Togethergang must die!

Oh, no, you don't! (GRUNTS)

Everyone, run, run!

Don't worry about the old...

Um, they left, like, 5 minutes ago.

-(ALL SCREAMlNG)

-Guys!

l haven't been laid in 6 months!

l have an erection right now,

and l don't know how long it will last!

l'm just putting that out there.

(GRUNTS) Tain't yours! Taint give it to me!

Ok, but first, give it to me!

Don't you see? lf people

all over the world would just...

-Oh.

-SUCK MY TAlNT GlRL: Wuh-whoah.

Next year in Jerusalem!

FOXXY:
Oh, Lordy!

F*** yeah! l'm going to

escape the f*** out of this sh*t!

Where the hell are you... Aah!

Oh, Barney!

l knew you'd come for me!

l just knew it!

Uh, yeah. Actually, l just came to tell you

l worked out everything with my wife.

So we have to end our affair.

Sorry. Here.

(RATTLES)

lt's a living.

(LAUGH TRACK)

(CHUCKLES)

Oh, damn it.

(ALL SCREAMlNG)

Oh, Lordy! Oh, now what we gonna do?

Oh, my God! Get us the f*** out of here!

Help!

(SCREAMlNG CONTlNUES)

Hey, you guys!

(ROARlNG)

(GRUNTS)

(ALL CHEERlNG AND TALKlNG AT ONCE)

ANNOUNCER:
Take offyour 3-D glasses now.

Yeah, but at least we're alive,

thanks to you, Giant Who

No Longer Shits lnto His Own Mouth.

lt's the least l could do.

l wish there was some way

l could help you get back on the air.

l think l can help.

Jew Son! Oh, l'm so sorry about your father.

lt's ok. He died saving those he loved.

-(COUGHS) Fag.

Ahem. Jew's a homo.

And now that he's gone,

l'm taking over the family business.

Uh, l don't think so,

but l do have a surprise for you.

-(GASPS) Papa?

-Even better!

l pulled some Jew strings

and l think l can get you

a Direct-to-DVD movie!

(GASPS) For real-real, not for play-play?

Yes, Foxxy, for real-real, not for play-play.

(ALL CHEERlNG AND EXCLAlMlNG)

Well, no offense to you guys,

but l don't want to be in a Direct-to-DVD

movie if it doesn't have a happy ending.

-Hero, look who l found!

-(GRUNTS)

Molly!

Oh, l love it when she does that.

Hey, there, baby. How you doin'?

You like shitting in people's mouths, right?

What, Molly? Of course, l'd love

to let you f*** me in my mouth,

but not tonight,

'cause tonight is guys' night.

(ALL LAUGHlNG)

(WHlRS AND BEEPS)

Aw, shitcunt.

(LAUGHTER STOPS)

Why don't you suck

-Suck my taint

-Suck my taint

-Suck my stinky little taint

-Suck my taint

-Suck my taint

-Suck my taint

Suck my taint

Come on, and suck my stinky little taint

Take it up the ass, metaphorically

Suck on a massive dong, allegorically

Slather spewing dung

across a sweaty symbolic ass

And we can make this fuckaII a better worId

When you crap yourself, it's an opportunity

To scoop up the excrement and eat it

Thereby showing how

you can jizz on a rotting cow

And make this fuckaII a better worId

Just make a point with your vomit

Make a point with unbridled mayhem

When you make a point to

teach the boys and girls

That you can make a point

by eating the puke chunks

And make a point by cannibalizing ears

Make a point and make

this fuckaII a better worId

Gargle a glop of snot

Then swallow it, metaphorically

Fondle a donkey's cock

while felching it, allegorically

Beat off into

a Christmas stocking, mockingly

And make this fuckaII a better worId

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