The Egg and I

- Whoops!

Now look what you've done.

No harm done, ma'am.

It's only an egg.

- Only an egg?

- Yes, ma'am. Just a little old egg.

I suppose it never occurred to you

that this egg is somebody's child.

- That it once had a mother.

- No, ma'am.

- And a father.

- Yes, ma'am.

You're one of those people who thinks

a chicken lays an egg all by herself.

- Yes, ma'am!

- Well, she doesn't. She lays it with help.

- And I ought to know because I helped her.

- Yes, indeed, ma'am!

Telling me about eggs.

And I'll bet you think an egg is something

you casually order for breakfast...

when you can't think

of anything else.

Well, so did I once.

But that was before The Egg And I.

# This is the day

they give babies away #

# With a half a pound of tea #

# You open the lid and out pops a kid

with a half a pound of tea #

- Betty?

- Hmm?

- Remember once we talked about

maybe having a farm someday? - Uh-huh.

- Have you thought about it since?

- Uh-uh.

I have. Betty, you ever think how we're

going to spend the rest of our lives?

Whatever my husband chooses

to do, it's all right with me.

The question is, are we going to trod the old

paths or break new roads into the wilderness?

I don't know.

Which?

You know, Betty, when you're

lying in a foxhole in Okinawa...

you got plenty of time

to think things out.

You know what I said to myself?

I said, "Just exactly what...

have Saddle, Finch, Tanner, Pease

and Stuck to do with all this?"

- You know what the answer was?

- Uh-uh.

Nothing, absolutely nothing. That's why I'm

not going back to be a mere customer's man...

- at Saddle, Finch, Tanner, Pease and Stuck.

- Aren't you?

I am not. I resigned yesterday. Hang

Saddle, Finch, Tanner, Pease and Stuck.

Well, you'll find

something else I'm sure.

- We'll talk about it in the morning, hmm?

- Do you know what a fellow...

thinks about when he's

lying out there in the mud...

- with the shells bursting all around him?

- I'd think about you.

He thinks about the fundamental things.

The things that really count.

The basic things.

Love, food, babies.

Things growing out of the ground.

He thinks about cows, horses...

Do you know what I dreamt

about most, Betty?

- Tell me, darling.

- About chickens.

- Chickens?

- Can't you just picture it, Betty?

Just you and me all by ourselves with

thousands and thousands of chickens.

Everyone of them

laying eggs all day long.

- What would we do with that many eggs?

- We'd sell them!

- Those we don't keep for incubating.

- Incubating?

- Darling, I bought a chicken farm.

- A chicken farm?

It's the most wonderful place

you can possibly imagine.

It's situated high up in the mountains.

Miles from everywhere, 40 beautiful acres.

That sounds fine.

We'll go there every weekend.

Every weekend? Honey, we're gonna live there

all the time! We're gonna raise chickens.

- Are we?

- You bet we are.

You have no idea what a fascinating

little devil a chicken can be.

There must be over 100 varieties.

Australorps, Dorkings.

Leghorns...

twelve different kinds of them.

The New Hampshire Red,

the Rhode Island Red.

The Light Brahma, the Black Sumatra,

theJersey White Giant.

The Plymouth Rock, the Barbrock.

There are millions of them.

Take the average White Leghorn

that lays 150 to 250 eggs a year.

- We'll say she costs between

$2.25 and $2.50 to raise...

They all right back there?

Oh, they're fine.

They love it.

Of course, our profit will vary...

The percentage of cockerels is a vital

factor in determining the cost of each pullet.

You've got to keep watching for those

little combs to break out of the shells.

Then you separate 'em, fatten 'em up,

dress 'em and off to market they go.

Oh, my hat! Oh, Bob, stop!

Can't stop here.

We'll get it later.

He's eating it!

Don't worry.

It won't hurt him.

- How much longer?

- Pretty soon now.

- Beautiful country, isn't it?

- Mmm.

- Seems so far away.

- Far away from what?

I don't know.

Just far away.

- Get ready, Betty.

- Are we there?

In a minute. Close your eyes.

I want to surprise you with it.

- They were closed.

- Close them again.

All right, open 'em.

- Where's the house?

- That's it right there.

Oh.

Needs a new coat of paint.

The agent told me there wasn't another

house like it in the whole county.

Come on,

I'll show it to you.

Isn't this the most beautiful setting

for a house you ever saw?

Isn't it wonderful?

How do you like this view

from the front porch?

Well, honey, this is it.

Over the threshold.

- Oh!

- Hang on.

- Darling, you'd better put me down.

- Yeah, I...

It's stuck.

I'll have to force it.

- Are you all right?

- Yeah, I'm all right.

- Those hinges must have loosened up.

- Oh.

I'll fix that. Well, honey,

what do you think?

Hasn't it got a lot of character?

That stairway goes up to the attic.

This is the bedroom.

This is the living room.

Nice size room,

isn't it?

- Good floors. Won't have

to do a thing to 'em.

Just scrub 'em

and polish 'em.

Here's the dining room.

They don't build houses

like this nowadays.

This table isn't bad, is it?

Solid oak.

Don't care much for

that fixture though, do you?

Wait'll you see the kitchen. Isn't this

something? An old-fashioned kitchen.

Haven't seen one like this since I was a kid.

None of that streamlined stuff.

This is the kind of place where you can

really get down to living.

No running water, no Frigidaire.

Just plenty of elbow room.

Here's the back porch

out here.

Go on, take a look. That's

the chicken house over there.

Of course, we'll have

to make it bigger.

Those woods back there

belong to us too.

Isn't that some barn?

That's the pigpen in front of it.

Compact little layout, isn't it?

It needs a little sprucing up.

Some paint, some patches. We'll get

started on that in the morning.

Come on, I'll show you

the rest of the house.

You haven't seen anything yet. It keeps

getting better and better. Here's the pantry.

These steps go to the cellar

where we can store vegetables...

and all those canned goods

you're going to put up.

What's that?

Huh? Oh!

Isn't that a beauty?

I bet you've never seen a stove

like that in all your life.

Just aching for a big side of beef

or a pot full of soup...

or couple of

dozen loaves of bread.

Fresh bread.

I can smell it already.

You're going to have

a wonderful time with that stove.

You can get to the bedroom

right through the kitchen here.

I don't think it likes me.

- Betty?

- Coming.

You and I, my friend, are not

going to get along at all.

- Bob...

- How do you like this bed?

- Isn't it a wonderful old piece?

- Hmm.

It needs a little

propping up.

There, that ought to do it.

Kind of noisy,

don't you think?

- Isn't this the life, Betty?

- I guess so.

Once you get used to it.

- It's raining.

- Right through the roof.

Gesundheit.

There, we'll be

all right here.

I'll have to get up on that roof. Some

of the shingles must have loosened up.

You catching cold? You must have

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