The Egg and I Page #2

been sitting in a draught.

- Ah, I must have.

- You better get in bed.

Ah, just smell that. Wonderful to fill

your lungs with clean air for a change.

Well, the first night

in our own home.

Doesn't it feel great, Betty?

Gonna make it a real home too.

Something to be proud of.

None of that hit-and-run stuff for us.

Just think, Betty,

this is where we'll...

probably spend

the rest of our lives.

- Doesn't it give you

a wonderful sense of security?

Now, then, everything's

gotta be scheduled.

Can't leave anything to chance.

Farming's a big enough gamble as it is.

Now by June we should have

at least a half-dozen sucklings.

We'll have a calf in July.

Then, along about August, we can begin

to figure on more important offspring.

- Oh, darling.

- Maybe 500 or 600 of them.

- 500, 600 what?

- Chicks, of course.

Maybe even more

if we're lucky.

I'd like to raise something

besides chickens, you know.

Oh, we'll have plenty of those too.

I'm counting on at least four.

Maybe even five.

Three boys and two girls, huh?

- All at once?

- Oh, no, one at a time.

Let's schedule the first one

for, uh, a year from today.

- How's that?

- That looks like a good day for it.

## Betty?

Betty?

Hmm?

Hey, Betty?

Wake up. Didn't you

hear the alarm clock?

You gonna lie there in bed forever?

Come on, get out.

- I've got breakfast almost ready.

- Hmm?

It's still night out.

What do you mean "night"?

It's 4:
30. Half the morning's gone.

I let you loll in bed

because it's the first day...

but from now on you've got to be

up every morning at 4:00 sharp.

- Hey, Betty?

- Hmm?

Come on, get out of there!

Got a lot of work to do.

Betty!

Bob!

How are those nails,

Betty?

- Oh! Bob!

- Yeah?

Hey, Betty?

Hey, Betty,

what are you doing down there?

Oh!

Just dropped in

to say howdy.

- Howdy.

- Howdy.

Ma told me to come by and ask you

over for a visit when you got time.

We're your neighbours

just down the road a spell.

Kettle's the name.

Folks call me Pa.

- I'm glad to know ya, Pa.

- Likewise.

- Hello!

- Hi.

This is my husband.

Meet Pa Kettle, Bob.

- Just dropped in to say howdy.

- Well, uh, howdy.

Howdy. Thought I'd tell ya

long as we're neighbours...

you can count on us for

anything you might be needin'.

Just step in and ask for it.

Be glad to lend a helpin' hand.

Thanks, Mr Kettle.

That's very nice of you.

- Building somethin'?

- Yes, we're putting up a new chicken coop.

Wouldn't mind having

a few of them two-by-fours.

Been fixin' my barn. Ain't

had no time to get to town.

- Go ahead. Help yourself.

- That's real neighbourly of you.

Won't be needin'

more than two... or so.

- Give me a holt here, will ya?

- You bet.

Oh, uh, two more...

just in case.

Oh, uh, better have

another one for good measure.

- Sure you got enough?

- Well, maybe one more for the house.

- Huh?

- I'll take 'em.

I'm gonna need a couple of pounds of nails.

Ain't got none to fit a two-by-four.

I guess I can let you

have a couple of pounds.

And an extra hammer and a saw. Kids

been usin' my saw and ruined the edge.

- Couldn't cut butter with it now.

- I'll give you a hammer and saw.

- I have to have them back.

- Send it back as soon as I'm through.

Come around the barn.

I'll see what I can dig up.

Say, you'll have to paint the place,

won't ya?

- Have you got any paint?

- Come to think of it, I ain't.

- Got any red you could spare?

- No, we've only got green.

Green will do.

I ain't particular.

Gee-up, there.

There! I'll bet you've never looked as good

as this in your whole life.

Oh! Oh, you!

Indians! Bob!

Bob! Bob!

Indians!

- What are you talking about?

- There, by the porch!

- That's Geoduck and Crowbar.

- Who?

- Geoduck and Crowbar. They sell fish.

- Fish?

You've been seeing too many

Westerns. Hiya, fellas.

- How!

- Betty, look at these crabs.

- Get a load of the size.

- Are we gonna raise them too?

We'll take a dozen. Just put 'em on

the back porch. Give a hand, will you, Tom?

- Say, who's Tom?

- He's Pa Kettle's boy. He's gonna work for us.

- Hope he doesn't take after his father.

- So far, he hasn't borrowed a thing.

I've been looking at the egg charts. Have

you been collecting the eggs regularly?

- Well, not exactly. They won't let me.

- They won't let you?

No, anyway it seems kind of cruel

to break up the family so early.

It's no joke. Those eggs have to be

collected regularly.

Couldn't I do

something else instead?

There's nothing difficult about it.

A child can do it.

- They look at me so hurt. I haven't got the heart.

- That's ridiculous.

Here I'll show you.

They don't act like that

when I do it.

Let's see you do it.

There! Now you see?

- That's funny.

- They don't like me.

Maybe you have the wrong attitude.

Chickens sense things in people.

Frankly, I think they're

stuck on you and resent me.

Maybe I better collect the eggs.

You do something else.

- Have you fed Cleopatra?

- No, I was just going to.

- She'll never get fat if you don't feed her.

- She's as fat as a pig now.

Okay, toots,

come and get it.

No, you don't! You come right back here

this minute!

Cleopatra,

do you hear me?

You get right back in this pen before

I do something you'll be very sorry for.

Do you hear me?

All right,

you asked for it. Come on.

Come on now. Get back in here.

Do you hear... Oh!

Come back here.

Cleopatra!

Cleopatra, come back here!

Having any difficulty?

Maybe I can help.

Here, pig, pig, pig!

Come on, pig, pig, pig.

Piggy, piggy, piggy.

Here, pig.

Well, that's the idea.

You certainly have a way with pigs.

Hello. I'm Harriet Putnam,

Bella Vista Farm.

- Oh, you have the fancy place down the road.

- That's right.

- This is my wife, Betty. Come on, honey.

- We've met already.

You're going to have a lovely place here

once you get it fixed up.

- It has loads of possibilities.

- Still needs a lot of work.

- Mind if I look around?

- Not at all. I'll show you around.

We've only just started

to get it in shape.

It's going to be so nice having

real people around for a change.

You better get cleaned up. That isn't

exactly perfume you're covered with.

Oh!

- How charming we look today, madam.

- We look nothing of the sort.

- Who are you?

- Best friend the farmer's wife ever had. Smiling Billy Reed.

"Whatever you need,

see Billy Reed. " That's me.

Right now I don't need anything except

a bath. Will you get out of my way...

For the bath. Soaps from the Orient,

perfumes from "Gay Paree. "

- Bath salts from the Isle of Capri.

- Some other time.

"Time," the lady says.

I got all the time in the world.

Alarm clocks, grandfather

clocks, wristwatches, pocket watches.

If it's time you need, see Billy Reed...

"If at first you don't succeed, try again,"

says Billy Reed.

- Please, I've got to change my clothes!

- "Clothes," the lady says.

Yes, I know. If it's clothes you need,

see Billy Reed.

I don't want any.

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