The Egg and I Page #3

Now, will you go away?

You can turn me down

and send me away, but I'll be back...

another day!

Oh, isn't he nice? Is he ours?

Yeah, I bought him from Doc Wilson.

- Hi!

- He's a wonderful hunting dog, but he's vicious.

- Oh, he doesn't look...

- Don't touch him! He's bitten about everybody in town.

- Honest?

- Doc said he took a piece out of two postmen and three delivery boys.

I'll just tie him up front here

till I build a run for him.

- Don't want to get him

too near the livestock.

- What's his name?

- Sport.

- Hiya, Sport.

- Betty, don't touch him. I tell you he's dangerous.

Takes a steady nerve

to handle a dog like this.

- Better leave him to me

and stay away from him.

He looks

awfully sweet to me.

Women.

- What on Earth is that?

- Hello. I didn't hear you come in.

It's just a contraption I rigged up.

Kind of an automatic feeder.

The chicken pokes its head in there and

then the grain will just naturally pour out.

- I hope.

- Did you invent that?

There's a couple of things

I have to figure out.

- You're a regular Thomas Edison.

- Not quite.

I just like to tinker around

with machines and things.

- Better than farming?

- Oh, much.

Put 'er there.

I'll tell you something.

I like anything better than farming,

especially chicken farming.

- It's not much fun.

- It's no fun at all.

- You better let me.

- Oh, would you?

They don't care

very much about me.

- Shouldn't you be in school today?

- I finished school last year.

Oh, I see.

- What are you going to do now?

- Oh, I don't know.

- This or that, I guess. Doesn't make much difference.

- Doesn't it?

I sort of hoped I could go to college.

Study engineering or something.

But there's

not much chance of that.

- Why not?

- A lot of reasons.

For one, Ma needs somebody

around the place.

- You know how Pa is.

- Yes, I know how he is.

And, I'm the oldest, so...

Well, anyway...

- Here.

- Thanks.

Think I'll have a talk

with Ma one of these days.

Oh! Oh, no!

Well, well, well.

Well, hello,

Mr Vicious.

Bob's going to be awfully disappointed

when he comes home...

and finds out you haven't

torn me to pieces.

Did you want to show me

what a great retriever you are, huh?

Is that it? Come on.

Oh, you old fraud.

You don't even retrieve, do you?

Okay.

All right, we won't

tell Bob. No, we won't.

We'll just let him dream

a little while longer.

- Get in.

- Oh, I'm only going as far as the Kettles.

- I'll drop you. Get in.

- Thank you.

I'm Mrs Hicks, the oldest family

in the county. That's my mother.

- How do you do? How are you?

- Fine, considering my condition.

- I'm so sorry. Aren't you feeling well?

- Never had a sick day.

- It's all in her mind.

- Don't you go saying that, Birdie. I've got complications.

Doctor Wilson says he never came across a

case like mine in his whole medical practice...

Pa Kettle been borrowing things

from ya already? Never get it back.

Lazy, shiftless crew, the whole lot of'em.

Disgrace to the community.

I went to the city last year and had

a wonderful going-over by a doctor there.

You the young couple took that abandoned

farm up the mountains a ways?

- It wasn't exactly abandoned. We bought it...

- He said to me...

"I don't ever remember seeing

a liver quite like yours. "

Nobody else wanted it. I call that

abandoned. Whatever you buy it for?

- He gave me the most wonderful pills.

- You'll never get it...

to look like anything,

too rundown.

I still got some. I'll send a few over to you

if there's anything the matter.

As for farming, be nothing short

of a miracle if you get anything to grow.

Better folks than you

have tried it and failed.

Eyesore to the community. I've tried

my best to get them run out of the county.

- Sure you want to stop off here?

- Positive.

You must come over sometime and let me tell

you all about the time I went to the hospital.

- Can't say you weren't warned.

- Thanks for the lift.

Give me mine! Give me it!

- Hello!

- Oh, hello. How are you?

Fine.

- Hello!

- Hi.

# Seesaw, seesaw,

Margery Daw, seesaw #

Where's your mother?

# Seesaw ##

Stop that dad-blasted noise!

Clear outta here!

Go on, you!

- Well, hello. Ain't this nice?

- How are you?

I was just wondering how long it'd be

before you got so lonesome you'd visit.

- Come on in the kitchen where we can talk a spell.

- Thank you.

Shoo, shoo! Get out of here!

Go! Go!

Get out of here.

My, my,

don't you look fine?

- Take a seat and make yourself to home.

- Thank you.

Just throw that stuff

anywhere.

How do you like your new place?

You don't look like a farmer.

I'm not, I'm afraid,

but I'm learning.

Nothin' like it, if it don't kill ya.

You're staying for dinner naturally.

- Oh, no, thank you.

- Oh, of course, you will.

Enough here for an army. Now, if you'll

just give me a hand settin' the table.

Oh, surely.

Tom was tellin' me what

real nice people you was.

We think a lot of him too.

He's a good boy, and he's so clever.

Ain't he, though? Not a mite like

the rest of the Kettles.

Makes me...

wonder sometimes.

- Seems a shame he had to leave school.

- Well, you know how it is.

We need Tom around the place.

Pa ain't much for workin' and...

- The rest of the young'uns

seem to take right after him.

Well... just the same

he ought to go to college.

College! What fer?

Oh, just so he can

make something of himself.

You wouldn't want to watch him

go to seed around here, would you?

Of course not.

Ain't for me to say.

If he had a little help, he could make out

all right at the State University.

There's no tuition

and he could work.

- He been talkin' to ya?

- He wants to go so badly.

Yes, I know he does.

I can see it in his eyes.

Tom got real high marks

when he was in high school.

- Ain't much I can do about it.

- Well, it's too bad.

Don't know as I could

get along without Tom.

We ain't got a live buck in the house

except what he brings in.

Last money I saved up, Pa put in a couple of

minks he was going to breed and make us a fortune.

Only they up and died before

they got around to breedin'.

Pa's kind of a dreamer

that way.

If you'll just get hold of that bell, we'll

let the varmints know dinner's ready.

Oh, sure.

You better stay out

of that doorway, honey...

- before you get trompled on.

- What?

You better stay out of that doorway!

Howdy.

Just sit yourself down anywheres, honey.

We don't stand on no ceremonies.

Henry, move over. Let the lady in.

Where's your manners?

Henry, move over and give

the lady a place to sit.

I ain't Henry, Ma. I'm Albert.

That's Henry, remember?

Whatever your name is,

move over and give the lady a seat.

Just make yourself

comfortable, honey.

Okay, Pa.

Much obliged

for everything.

- Hey, Betty, what's this?

- My kitchen garden. I told you about it.

You didn't tell me

you were going to put it here.

- What's the matter with here?

- Nothing, except when it rains.

- The water's gonna come over that embankment in sheets.

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