The Eiger Sanction Page #3

You are punishing us for using

Jemima Brown? Is that it?

You need me to

perform the sanction,

just pay the money.

(COUGHING)

You drive a hard bargain, Hemlock,

but to show you there

are no hard feelings,

I'm going to give you a bonus.

Oh, pardon me while I choke.

You will appreciate this.

The bonus is Miles Mellough.

Miles? What does he have

to do with all this?

It appears that after the

microfilm was stolen from Worm...

Henri Baq, Miles Mellough

was the courier

who carried it to the enemy.

Since he was not

one of the killers,

a sanction, technically,

is not called for.

However, you may

have it if you wish.

I accept the bonus.

I thought you might.

I imagine this will be the last

time that you will be here.

I shall miss you, Hemlock.

You know, Dragon, you could have

saved yourself a lot of trouble

if you'd have told me to begin with

that the dead agent in

Zurich was Henri Baq.

Good luck, Hemlock,

on your latest assignment,

the Eiger Sanction.

Wild Turkey on the rocks, hmm?

It's right downstairs.

I guess I shouldn't have dropped

it on you like that, Jonathan.

Just how should you have

dropped it on me, Jemima?

I just couldn't let it go...

I mean, I couldn't let us

go on without you knowing

that I work for Mr. Dragon.

And I didn't have enough guts

to tell you face-to-face.

Boy, I must've been really dazzled

not to notice all

those coincidences.

You on the same plane, just

happening by with the taxi cab,

discovering the note from Dragon.

How was it supposed to work?

Were you supposed to deny me your

body if I don't accept this sanction?

Don't make it sound

so cheap, Jonathan.

Just too shabby

to even be called cheap.

For your information,

I was not assigned to seduce you.

How long have you

worked for Dragon?

Only a month.

But I've been a C-2

courier for five years.

Jonathan, do you understand how

important this sanction is?

I mean, the film that was

stolen from Wormwood...

His name was Henri Baq.

Well, the stolen microfilm involves

a new formula for germ warfare.

And I'm supposed to get it

back by killing people?

Let me tell you something I'm sure

you're not aware of, Aunt Jemima.

You know what purpose these sanctions

serve? Absolutely none at all.

They're just retaliation. They kill

one of ours, we kill the killers.

No purpose at all, just barbaric.

You're getting religion

a little late.

I didn't quit because of religion.

I quit because of mathematics.

Oh?

That's right.

The odds are stacking

up against me.

Assassins who stay too long wind up

assassinated, and that ain't in my game plan.

But...

Look, I don't pretend to know

what Mr. Dragon's thinking,

but there's a formula for germ warfare

out there and the other side has it.

I'm sure he knows what he's doing.

It's dangerous, child, to come to

conclusions when you don't have any facts.

Now, let me lay some on you.

Sure, Dragon knows what he's doing,

just like he knew what he was doing

when he worked for the

Nazis during World War II.

- What?

- Oh, you didn't know that, did you?

Yes, your wrap 'em up in red,

white, and blue Mr. Dragon's

a goddamn Hessian,

that's what he is.

And he'd sell out the other side

as fast as he'd sell out our side.

He'd sell out his mother, too,

if the bloodless freak had one!

You think it's so awful the

other side has a germ formula?

It's against the

Geneva Convention, isn't it?

And they stole it from us.

Well, what the hell are we doing

with it in the first place?

We're not supposed

to have one either.

And you don't see any difference

between their side and our side?

Yeah, I see a difference. As long as we

have Dragons and Popes working for us,

how bad can the other side be?

Where's my change?

$10,000.

(EXHALES)

This is Henri Baq.

I had a bullet in me once, and

he carried me for three days.

I owe him one. He was a friend.

Who's that man?

HEMLOCK:
That's Miles Mellough.

He's the guy who tipped off the

people who put the bullet in me.

An enemy.

And him?

That's Ben Bowman. He and I

used to climb a lot together.

I'm going out to his climbing

school and get in shape.

Friends, enemies.

Where do I fit in?

I'm sorry, but you don't.

Here's to the selfish killer

and the patriotic whore.

Do you have anything

else to say to me?

I usually keep a twenty in the

bowl there, by the kitchen door.

You might pick it up

on your way out.

Goddamn my eyes!

How the hell are you?

Goddamn, you're looking good.

A little soft maybe, but,

goddamn, I'm glad to see you.

How the hell have you been? Boy,

are we gonna drink a lot of beer!

Wait till you see the goddamn

place. How the hell are you?

Jesus Christ, Jon, don't

you ever say anything?

Well, I'm waiting for

your mouth to get tired.

Just down the road

a piece, old buddy.

About 20 miles, as I remember.

Uh-huh.

(SIGHING)

Nice leisurely five-minute ride.

(LAUGHING)

Only when I'm in a hurry.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

No need to hurry, Ben.

That's why I'm taking it

nice and easy.

You ain't gonna

recognize the old place.

Hope I live to see it.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

That city life has spoiled

you, made you kind of soft.

You ain't a pansy yet, are you?

Let's just stop this death

trap and I'll show you.

(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)

What's so funny?

I was just thinking of

the last time we climbed.

You had to haul my ass

down off that mountain.

That's liable to turn out to

be one of my bigger mistakes.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

Still do any climbing, Ben?

No. Nothing a pissant

couldn't hop over.

I ain't a climber, anyway.

I'm an impresario.

- Huh?

- An impresario.

At least, that's what they

call me. That ain't dirty, is it?

Could be.

HEMLOCK:
When did this all happen?

Oh, about two years.

What do you think of it?

- Well...

- I know. It's so frigging

ugly, it makes me sick.

But it keeps me in moccasins.

I've been taken over

by the swinging singles!

What happened to

the climbing school?

Ha!

My guests are more interested in

hunting than they are in climbing.

Thought the whole point

of climbing was hunting.

(CHUCKLING)

Damned if you ain't right, Jon.

Damned if you ain't right.

Well,

this is really interesting, Ben.

Uh-huh, yeah.

Begins to look like I'll make

it through the winter, huh?

Two brews.

(EXHALES) Not bad.

Thanks. Not bad at all.

I think I like the old place

better though. More character.

Character and unpaid bills,

old buddy.

Goddamn, I'm glad to see you!

Dealing with these phony bastards

really makes my ass weary.

That's the perils

of being an impresario.

You sure that ain't a dirty word?

Shut up and drink your beer.

On, God. My, my!

BEN:
All right. Beat it, Buns.

(CHUCKLES)

At least I know you're not

here for the hunting.

Psst! Psst!

But your wire made it sound like more

than just a visit to an old buddy.

It is, Ben. I want you to get

me in shape for a climb.

Much of a climb?

Eiger, north face.

You're kidding?

Nope, I'm part of an

international team.

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