The Emperor Waltz Page #2
- Year:
- 1948
- 106 min
- 78 Views
[Bell Ringing]
You'll pardon my intrusion,
Your Majesty.
Will Your Majesty please
make all the haste possible?
What is it now?
A precautionary measure,
Your Majesty.
There seems to be
an assassin.
Oh, dear.
This gets to be
such a bore. Sorry.
Here. Here now!
What's the idea?
Come here!
Hey, wait a minute!
Hey, you! Wait a minute!
[Barking]
What's the matter with you?
Are you crazy?
You're under arrest!
Let go of me!
And drop that dog,
You dogs!
Search him! Now,
who are your confederates?
We want every name.
Is this the Emperor's palace
or a loony bin?
You came here as a potentate.
Are you a potentate?
I may have stretched things
a little, but I'm a Shriner.
Paid up.
You're a nihilist.
I am not.
I'm a Presbyterian.
A lie again. It says here
that you're a salesman.
Listen, wabble-face,
isn't it possible to be a
Presbyterian Shriner salesman?
I am also
a registered Democrat,
a member
of the Chamber of Commerce,
a sandlot third baseman, and l...
Not so fast!
I have to talk fast.
If I don't, my sample's
gonna rust in your fish pond.
Careful!
It might explode.
I wish it would.
It cannot.
The powder's all wet.
It must be some new model
with a cannon attached.
You must be an old windbag
with a blabbermouth attached.
I never saw such a bunch
of ignoramuses. Here, Buttons,
we'll show 'em the trademark.
Does that mean anything to you?
It doesn't, hey?
Well, it's an invention.
A talking machine.
A new kind of American
thingamabob. Watch this.
We have a record, we put it
on the machine thus.
We start the works
in this manner. Drop
the needle in that fashion.
[Garbled Song]
[Stops]
Something wrong here.
What do you... What's going on?
This is not
standard equipment.
With Your Majesty's permission,
Your Majesty may come out now.
About time. I was beginning
to feel like a corkscrew.
What was it this time?
A false alarm,
Your Majesty.
An American salesman
trying to force his way in.
A most persistent breed,
these Americans.
One threw himself
in front of my carriage.
He was selling brushes.
Wanted me to buy two
for my whiskers.
Also a clothes brush,
shoe brush, nail brush
and a tooth brush.
Incredible.
and had him deported.
Where were we now?
The dogs, Your Majesty.
The final arrangements.
Oh, yes. Louis and I
will be at my hunting lodge
in the Tyrol...
for the next three weeks.
I want you to come
and stay with me
and bring Scheherazade.
We are most honored,
Your Majesty.
will find the mountain air
quite invigorating.
As to transportation,
have you any objections
to the horseless carriage?
None whatever, Your Majesty.
Then I'll send my automobile
to bring you up next Tuesday.
Good-bye, Baron.
Good-bye, my dearJohanna.
May I personally
guarantee Your Majesty
a most glorious litter?
Thank you.
I shall see you
in the mountains.
Everybody return
to his quarters.
No tradesperson
is permitted in the palace.
You will pack that
squalling abomination
and leave at once!
Out! Out! Out!
Oh, no, I don't.
I'm gonna wait 'til it dries
and show it to the old boy,
as per
my appointment!
To whom will you show it?
To the Emperor.
If you play ball,
I won't tell him what a monkey
You made out of yourself.
You will never see
the Emperor.
I'd protect His Majesty
from that object as I'd
protect him from a bomb.
You listen to me, chubby.
I didn't come to Austria
to run into that kind of guff.
I came here to put that machine
over and I'm gonna.
I'm gonna sell 5,000,
10,000, 20,000.
Not in Austria,
I assure you.
We do not take to cheap,
blatant innovations.
You're a bunch of
dusty old aunties,
scared of anything new.
You wouldn't have put in
the electric light,
bought an automobile,
only the Emperor did.
He's gonna buy
the first one of these
and endorse it.
And when he does,
You watch the sales skyrocket.
Yo-ho! They're going up.
And perhaps you will take
a photograph of our Emperor...
Iooking into that horn,
in place of your dog.
Don't you realize this is
happened to the Holenia's...
in ten generations?
Will it pay
the butcher's bill?
present his bill to the
Emperor's brother-in-law?
What was that?
My poor demented daughter,
don't you realize
we've just become part
of the Emperor's family?
All because of some
arrangement about puppies?
Thanks to those puppies
Your father is now...
the most important man
in the monarchy, inseparable
from the Emperor.
He and I will sit together
waiting for them to be born.
We'll feed the little things
with medicine droppers,
spread newspapers for them,
take them on walks.
I shall have
the Emperor's ear and
advise him on matters of state.
I may become
ambassador to Paris,
or minister of finance.
Oh, not that, Father.
As for you, Johanna,
magnificent vistas
have opened up.
What's wrong with
the young king of Spain? Or
there's an English princeling.
Father, to return
to the butcher,
how are we to provide...
meat for the bride
if she's to be kept alive
for the happy event?
Don't be ridiculous.
We now have all the credit
in the world.
So Vienna thought
we had gone to the dogs?
[Chuckles]
Gone to the dogs,
indeed.
Stop dawdling. We've
endured your presence
long enough.
Aw, your emperor's
sideburns!
What are you
doing now? Disrobing
in the palace grounds?
What a fussy old dude you are.
You're worse than a worm
on a hot rock.
I'll give you
one more minute to get
that object out of here!
That's what's known
as Viennese charm, Buttons.
If you ever see me order
Wiener schnitzel again,
You can spit
right in my eye!
[Barking]
Here, Buttons.
Come back here.
[Growling]
[Dogs Barking, Growling]
Hey, Buttons.
Go away,
You nasty mongrel.
What are you up to?
You bad dog, you. Here.
What's the matter?
Hey.! Hey, you.!
This dog is bleedin'.
What did you do to my dog?
Stop! Hey!
That's enough.
That's enough.
You bet it is. We've been
kicked around, thrown in
the water, snapped at, bitten.
Who do those people
think they are?
They are His Excellency,
Baron Holenia...
and the Countess
von Stolzenberg-Stolzenberg.
Where do they live?
The Stolzenberg-Stolzenberg
palace on
Stolzenberg-Stolzenberg Square.
That's a lot of Stolzenberg.
And don't tell us to get out
'cause we're gittin'.
[Bell Ringing]
[Bell Rings, Crashes]
You rang, sir?
Does a black dog live here?
I beg your pardon?
A French poodle
about that size.
Tell her she has to see
a man about a dog.
Perhaps if you would clarify the
nature of your business, sir.
[Scheherazade Barking]
Hey, you!
What's the idea ofjust
running off after your dog
has bitten my dog?
of that thing, but human beings
we expect to act halfway human.
[Growling]
Take off your hat.
Look at that leg.
Bitten clear to the bone.
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"The Emperor Waltz" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_emperor_waltz_20142>.
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