The English Teacher Page #5

- No, no, no.

Just so you know...

On Tuesdays and Thursdays,

he's supposed to be taking LSA prep test up in Scranton.

He told me that these rehearsals

would in no way interfere with that,

and now I find out not only he's

been skipping the classes altogether,

- but he lied to me.

- Oh, come on!

- Oh, no. You expect me to believe this?

- Yeah. I do, look, look...

He sent this to me an hour before

I saw you yesterday.

"Hi, Dad. On my way

to LSAT prep class.

"Be back later tonight."

You see that, right?

Well, if he lied,

it's because he feels

he has no choice.

How can he trust you?

You are crushing his spirit.

Forcing Jason to go

to law school is like...

Like using a Shakespeare

folio for toilet paper.

"Forcing him!" I've never forced

Jason to do anything.

Going to law school

was entirely his idea.

I'm sure you're

begging him not to go.

- This is unbelievable.

- Yes, it is.

You got me all figured out,

right.

There's nothing I can say

that won't convince you

I'm not a complete a**hole?

You could start by giving Jason

the respect

and the freedom

that he deserves.

Maybe I should stop

talking to him altogether?

- Would that work for you?

- That might be an improvement, yeah.

Okay, you obviously

don't have any kids!

Excuse me! Excuse me!

I have had

hundreds of kids,

and I have had

a lot of experience...

Hey, I'm doing the best that

I can with Jason.

Perhaps your best

isn't good enough.

Is that what you tell

your students?

Oh, there is no comparison!

Do you know what?

You...

You are an a**hole!

Huh?

A**hole.

- I'm a rascal?

- I said...

Hello.

It's Linda.

Do you have a minute?

Hey, Linda.

I just ran into

your father and...

Is that Ms. Sinclair?

Hi, Ms. Sinclair!

- Who's that?

- Wait, look, um...

Halle's over.

Um, we're running lines.

Over? Are...

Are you still at school?

Uh, no, my place.

Uh, it just seemed easier.

Uh, is everything okay?

Oh. Everything's fine.

I'm sorry to interrupt.

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Uh, okay.

Uh, see you tomorrow.

- Bye, Ms. Sinclair!

- Bye.

Uh, shall we pick it up

where we left off?

So with tax and shipping,

it comes to $433.52 cents.

That includes

the smoke machine

and the slightly more

expensive strobe light.

Oh, Carl, is all this

really necessary?

Well, it is if you want the magic

of the play to work.

But if you're content to see

The Chrysalis undermined

I'll run out and buy two

flashlights and a Lazy Susan.

Oh, calm down,

I was only asking.

Sorry.

Halle's doing spectacularly well,

don't you think?

Oh. Bless you.

Stop.

I can't believe Mr. Adams

gave us that quiz!

Halle...

May I speak with

you a moment, please?

Take a seat.

Well, first of all,

I want to tell you what a fantastic job

you're doing as Jane.

Oh! Thanks. I've been working

my butt off,

but I love it.

I know how important

this play is to you,

and I wouldn't want

anything to jeopardize that.

Whoa, wait.

Am I in trouble?

No, no, no, no.

Everything's fine.

It's just, um...

Well, um...

It's about Jason.

Some of us have noticed,

uh, that your behavior

with him lately

has been a little

inappropriate.

I haven't done anything.

I know, but appearances

are important.

And people tend

to make assumptions.

Well, they shouldn't!

I know, I know.

But...

They do.

Now, I understand that

you want to pursue acting

as a career.

Is that true?

May I offer

you some advice?

As you go out

on auditions,

you'll be meeting a lot of men,

powerful men,

who may be interested in you for

reasons other than your talent.

Now you're a very

attractive young woman,

and you may be tempted

to take advantage of that.

In the short term,

that may work.

But in the long term, people might

lose respect for you.

And they may find

you a little, um, trashy.

I know I sound harsh, but it's only because

I care about you,

and I want you to earn the respect

that you deserve as a woman,

not because of your body,

but because of your mind.

And that is why you need

to stay away from Jason.

Am I making any sense?

It just seems really unfair.

Guys can get away with anything,

but girls can't.

I know. It is unfair.

But, unfortunately, that's the world

in which we live.

I wish it weren't.

Oh, so do I.

But I have learned

from experience that wishing

doesn't always make it so.

Changing the world is hard work,

but we can do it.

We women just have to

stick together, that's all.

I'm so glad we had

this conversation.

Go ahead to lunch, go on.

And I'll see you at rehearsal.

Yeah.

- See ya.

- Okay.

And at $800, the fake fireplace

is a real bargain.

Don't play

with that, fellas.

Sorry.

Oh, Linda,

what can I say.

You are like the Peggy Guggenheim

of high school theater.

But prettier.

Oh!

Oh! Ah!

I don't believe this.

- Linda, just relax...

- She is a student, Jason.

What a scummy,

sleazy thing to do!

- I know.

- And you!

I expected better from you.

- I'm sorry.

- No. It's too late.

This is going on

your permanent record.

No. You, you can forget about that

letter of recommendation.

What!

You can't do that!

You've left me no choice.

Linda.

- Linda! - Oh my God. My parents

are going to kill me!

No, no, no.

It's fine.

- Just sit down. Relax, okay.

- No, they are!

I'm going to go take

care of it... Linda!

What?

Hey, Linda.

Can we talk

about this, please?

No. I don't need to

talk about anything.

I know what I saw.

- But we didn't do anything!

- Oh, how dare you.

I catch you fooling

around with a student,

She started it.

I didn't start it.

You know, you're a

role model to these kids.

To take advantage

like that, that is...

Unconscionable!

I thought you were ready to be

a professional, but apparently not.

Because this was

an amateur move, Jason.

Amateur!

This is bullshit.

Excuse me?

You're jealous!

As if I'd be jealous of some

dirty little make out session

in the boys'

dressing room.

No, you'd rather have a quick f***

in the classroom

Is that what you want? You want me

to bend you over your desk right now?

- You are awful!

- God knows you need it...

You are awful!

Sh*t.

Hit me with a piece of f***ing prop...

Take me off your goddamn list,

and never call me again!

- Fallon Hughes.

- Here.

- Ed McKee.

- Ho.

Benjamin Meyer.

Ho!

What is the matter

with you people?

Settle down.

Or you're looking at detention!

Is that clear?

And 'cause the theme this year is

"Winter Dreamz,"

I thought we could have giant beds

and snowmen in PJ's...

No, no, that is

a horrible idea.

- I need to talk.

- Linda!

Okay, Joni, lets... Let's talk about

it tomorrow.

But this is

"Winter Dreamz."

Out.

Something terrible

has happened...

you and Shakespeare doing

it in the classroom!

Because Halle Anderson is spreading

vicious rumors about me,

and I just caught her defacing my

classroom door with obscenities!

Why would Halle do that?

Why?

Because yesterday,

I caught her

messing around with Jason Sherwood

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