The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain Page #7

bow my head and scuttle out.

- l`d notice.

- No, you wouldn`t.

Not usually.

So, can l ask you

something personal ?

How come you aren`t

in France ?

Well, l-l-l was.

Um, l w-- l was, uh--

l-l went out with the, uh,

first wave in 1914.

l was at Verdun.

l came back like Johnny.

Oh.

l`m sorry.

But you`re all right now. You just

need some lookin` after. [ Chuckles ]

[ Horses Approaching ]

- What on earth ?

- [ Morgan ] All right, boys.

l`ll see you up there.

We`ve got

the miners now too.

Looks like a carnival.

l feel terribly

responsible. l--

l hope your Mr. Garrad`s ready.

We`ll have a mountain for him

to measure before tea time.

- [ Snoring ]

- [ Knocking ]

Tea wallah !

l-l-lt`s Anson, George.

Oh, Anson. Morning.

Um, l-l just thought l might,

uh, pop up the hill.

lt seems the, uh, the villagers

have made a little,

tiny alteration to the height.

l thought l might, uh, measure it.

Nothing much better to do, so--

Capital. Good for you. You could

probably use the fresh air.

Well, that`s what

l thought. Yeah.

Umm, y-you don`t

want to join me ?

- Where ?

- Eh, up the hill.

Oh, good God, no, no, no.

l`ll stay here if you

don`t mind. Lots of paperwork.

Scads to catch up on and such.

Absolutely.

All right. Say, you don`t want me

to open up a window or anything ?

[ Door Creaks ]

Um, l`m not sure that l

can rely on Mr. Garrad.

But, um, the thing is, l-l

will need an assistant. l--

- You wouldn`t, um--

- Me ?

Wh-Why not ?

Well... l`ve never

been to Abyssinia...

or to Aden...

or Sebastopol,

and l can`t speak

with a posh accent for long.

Well, l-l-l think

we can get over that.

l`m just a maidservant.

Well, l-l don`t think the word ''just''

could apply to you about anything.

- Was that a compliment ?

- Yes. Yes.

And n-now l`m going

to blush, so, um,

w-would you

help me... please ?

- Since you said please,

and you`re blushin`, yes, l will.

- No !

[ Chuckling ]

Good. Then, uh,

prepare the engineer`s

transit, please.

- The what ?

- l`ll show you.

This is extraordinary.

When Morgan gets

a bee in his bonnet--

Let`s keep

the hands up.

You know, l think

they`re going to succeed.

- [ Betty ] Hello.

- Hello, hello.

We`ll have a mountain

for your map.

Oh, indeed, l think you will. l--

l just hope you can finish it today.

We lost a lot in the rain,

but we still have a chance.

- Well, perhaps you should

cover it with turf.

- Turf ?

- He means sod.

- Sod ? We`ll need good sod.

A lot of good sod.

This is an outrage !

How dare you ?

Have the council been informed ?

Does anyone have written permission ?

l mean, look at this.

lt`s madness !

- Stop actin` so English.

- [ People Laughing ]

[ Speaks ln Welsh ]

- [ Man ] Go on up there.

- Right, then, boys. Carry on.

[ Man Shouting ] Come uppa !

Come uppa ! That`s it. That`s it.

[ Grandfather ] Absolutely everyone

climbed Ffynnon Garw that day,

except Davies the School,

of course,

and Johnny, who was happy

to help down in the valley,

but too fearful

to go up Ffynnon Garw again.

Thank you, Johnny.

l`ll take that.

There`s not much daylight left

for a measurement.

Well, stop

standing around and help.

Come on.

Look, l`m terribly sorry

about the motorcar.

l covered it with tarpaulin, but

l don`t know. The wind, uh, must`ve--

W-Would that be this tarpaulin

by any chance ?

- Yes.

- That`s all right, Mr. Williams.

l wouldn`t have missed this

for the world.

lt`s Johnny.

lt`s Johnny !

[ Grandfather ] lt was touch and go

to finish...

while there was still light

for Mr. Anson to measure.

And there are many who

still say we would`ve succeeded,

but fate had one more trick

up her sleeve.

Reverend Jones !

[ Grandfather ] Later,

when we all talked,

we realized that Reverend Jones

had climbed Ffynnon Garw

five or six times that day,

enough to make

a young, fit man stiff,

and definitely too much

for a man of 82.

Yes. We didn`t

know that either,

but Reverend Jones was 82.

And we thought

he was just in his 60s.

Morgan !

- Morgan the Goat !

- [ Crowd ] Morgan. Morgan.

- He wants me ?

- Yes.

Come closer.

Take my hand now.

l know l can count on you.

[ Whispering ]

[ Whispering ] What`s he saying ?

What`s he saying ?

[ Whispering Continues ]

What`s he saying ?

[ Crowd Murmuring ]

Get Jones the J.P. !

[ Grandfather ] The sergeant

verified death,

but Jones the J.P. would have

to consecrate the ground...

before the Reverend Jones

could have his dyin` wish.

This plot of earth

at the summit of Ffynnon Garw...

is duly consecrated to receive

the mortal remains...

of our dear friend

and spiritual leader,

the Reverend Robert Jones.

SngSng [ Singing ]

So you`ll be takin` the first train

out in the morning ?

Yes. Yes, l`m

afraid we will.

Fair is fair.

We had a damn good fight, didn`t we ?

lf it wasn`t for the reverend--

lf it wasn`t for the reverend,

it wouldn`t have been built

in the first place.

- Aye. True.

- True enough.

Come on.

Well-- l-lt will be measured again.

l mean, eh--

Perhaps we`ll even come back

through here on our return, and--

You won`t be back.

This isn`t a place that people

like you come back to.

Well, l`ll try.

l`ll really try.

''l`ll try'' ?

ls that the best you can do ?

After all they`ve done.

All this work.

How would you like them to say

it failed because of you ?

But what am l supposed to do ?

Measure it in the dark ?

Wait up here `til the first light

of dawn, and th-then race down--

The sun`s up at 5:00.

That`s only a few hours away.

l`d keep you company.

W-Well, i-if it is

that late, and, uh,

a-and the sun will

be up soon, l, uh--

l mean, l may as well stay here

and, uh, wait for dawn.

Uh, after all,

we`ve come this far.

- Good night.

- [ Speaking Welsh ]

Drink, Blod ?

Good night, Morgan.

They`re in chapel. lt`s Sunday.

What`s yours ?

[ Grandfather ] And so it was

that Betty and Anson stayed

a night on Ffynnon Garw.

Now you know what the Welsh

say about people...

who stay on mountain peaks

at night, don`t you ?

They become poets, madmen,

very, very wise, or--

SngSng [ Band Playing ]

And when they descended,

it was to announce...

that Ffynnon Garw was indeed

a mountain-- of 1,002 feet--

and that they were

engaged to be married.

Yes, it was

an odd courtship,

but one befitting a man

who went up a hill...

but came down a mountain.

[ Townspeople Cheering ]

[ Snoring ]

[ Young Man ] And should you think

this is just a shaggy-dog story...

told by a senile man to his

young, impressionable grandson,

l`d ask you to come

to South Wales,

to the village

where l was born.

And as you drive north

from Cardiff,

look for

the first big hill--

not just a hill,

but a mountain--

and the children

of the people who built it.

However, just before this film was made,

the mountain was remeasured...

and found to be 997 feet.

Thus the mound

had settled back into a hill.

[ Ghostly Voice ] A hill ?

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