The Ex
# Well, here's a little game
for you and I #
# I'll give it a try #
# To play until
the blue skies fade #
# I'll take
the shade tree #
# All you have to do
is sit and smile #
# That sounds worthwhile #
# And imagine the future
of my baby and me #
# All we need #
# Is an afternoon
of skipping through the mind #
# And I know we'll find #
# We're two of a kind #
# Now here's a little game
for you to play #
# What kind
would you say? #
# A sort of a puzzle
as you soon will see #
# Now you've
intrigued me #
# All you have to do
is add things up #
# And imagine what
one plus one plus one #
# Will be #
# All we need #
# Is an afternoon
of skipping through the mind #
# And soon
you will find #
# We're three of a kind. #
- "Nigel"?
- No.
"Leonard." That's cute.
That's so cute! We have a little fat kid
Let's come up with our own name.
We don't need the book.
Like "Apple"
or "Destiny's Child."
- I'll tell you what...
- ( bell dings )
Honey, will you run in the kitchen
and get me my toast?
- Yes.
- Thank you.
The book says it's important
to have a name for the child
before the child is born.
Oh, that book.
You've got to relax with that book.
You're obsessed.
Honey, you know
doing research
makes me feel
more comfortable.
Speaking of which,
I've decided not to do an epidural.
- What?
- Yep.
Apparently, natural childbirth's
better for the baby.
But everybody says
the pain is unbearable.
I'm a tough girl.
I can handle it.
Whatever is best
for baby Big Nose.
Big Nose?
Oh, sorry, that's just the name
that popped into my head
when I was looking
at you.
Oh, that's very funny.
That's very funny.
- ( kissing )
- Honey, please!
You're going
to make me pee!
Whoa, whoa.
Look at the time. I gotta go.
- Promotion day.
- Good luck, sweetheart.
- Hey. I love you.
- I love you more.
Tom! Tom!
Tom Reilly.
How the hell are you, man?
What's going on?
Good, Forrest.
How are you?
The last time I saw you,
you were with Sofia Kowalski.
Yeah, we got married actually.
Way to go, man.
You know, I was never one
of the people that said
she was out of your league.
In their face, right?
Yeah.
- We're about to have a baby.
- Congratulations. That's fantastic.
Yeah, good stuff. My wife and I
just did that deal in December.
Kids are expensive
as hell, though.
I just made SVP
at Armstrong.
Making 500 grand a year
and we're barely making ends meet.
We just got a beach house
in the Hamptons.
- Oh.
- Piece of advice--
you want
the most blowj*bs ever?
- Please.
- Get your wife a beach house.
- Oh.
- I'm serious. I can't keep her off my junk.
I'll have
to remember that.
Hey, come out to the Hamptons sometime.
We'll go sailing.
- I'll bring my yacht!
- Even better.
$500,000 a year.
Can you believe that?
I went to school
with this idiot.
He's one of the stupidest
people I ever met.
Where did I go wrong?
- Dude, you're a cook.
- I know.
I should have become
a hedge-fund guy.
I'd be getting BJs
out in East Hampton.
Okay, people!
A lot of hungry stockbrokers up there.
They're counting on you.
What's wrong?
Somebody left a bunch
of salmon out overnight.
Leon's docking
everybody's pay.
- That's ridiculous.
- You gotta talk to him, Tom.
No, no, no, no, no,
not me this time, guys. Sorry.
Tommy, you're the only
guy that can stand up to him.
Paco, my wife's about
to have a baby. I need this promotion.
This guy's going
to dock our pay, man.
Let's go, ladies!
I don't pay you
Hey, Summers, I need you
to work on Sunday, okay?
Leon, my sister's getting married
on Sunday, remember?
Well, you know what? You gotta tell me
that when I'm making out the schedule.
- I can't keep track of everyone's social life.
- I did tell you.
- I'll sub for him, Leon.
- Paco, silencio.
Summers, I'm sorry.
You got to be here Sunday.
That's it.
I don't make the rules.
Oh, wait.
Yes, I do.
You got something to say, Reilly?
I'd love to hear it.
Leon,
you're an a**hole.
And you're fired.
- What?
- Adios, mijo.
You heard me, Banderas.
Hit the road.
Go on back to your 10-family shack
I don't give a sh*t,
all right?
Okay, we both got
I admit it.
You admit it.
Let's just have a cool-down period, okay?
Do you want to use my apron?
I can get most
of that off.
Are you kidding me? You don't
hit a guy with a pork chop!
( clamoring )
- Tom:
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!- Leon:
Come on!- We're sorry. We're sorry. We're sorry.
- You're fired too.
Uh-huh!
Forrest, here's some pork,
on the house.
How's the ahi?
Sofia:
Oh, I'm so fat.
Sofia:
Oh, I'm so fat.
( grunts )
Don't give me that crazy look, Kimmy.
I see you.
I have too much to do
before I gotta get out of here.
Kimmy:
Hey, Sof',can I ask you something?
raise a kid on Tom's salary?
He's getting promoted
to head lunch-chef.
We're gonna be fine.
I have to say, I have a hard time
seeing you as a housewife.
I am not going to
be a housewife.
I'm going to be
a full-time mom.
Of course, yeah.
( gasps )
What?
Hello.
Now?
It's a setback, baby,
but we're gonna get through this.
The important thing
is that we have
a beautiful, perfect,
handsome baby boy, right?
And we love each other.
Right?
Do you remember how we decided
that I was gonna stay home with our baby
and you were gonna
support us?
Sofia, it was the principle of the thing.
You should have seen this guy.
It's always
"the principle of the thing."
First, it was
the museum job,
but then you didn't want to turn into
a pretentious social climber.
Then you become
a magazine writer,
your editor he's a whore.
Not an actual whore, Sofia.
A whore to the entertainment industry.
You speak your mind and you can
smell bullshit a mile away,
and that's what
I love about you,
but sooner or later,
people make compromises.
They don't like what they do.
They hate their boss.
They're bored most of the time.
It's what having a job is.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, well,
what if this whole thing
was a message from God?
What do you think God's
trying to tell us?
Maybe he's trying to tell us
that it's time for us
to move out
of New York City.
up on his job offer.
I think Ohio will be the best place
to raise a baby.
We have your parents
to help us out.
You always said you didn't want
to work in an office.
But now all I care about
is taking care of you and him.
Okay?
Besides,
I think advertising
to have, right?
Think up ideas all day long,
get paid for it?
- We could have a house and a car.
- It would be a lot quieter.
- Yes.
We could have a yard.
That's what
I'm talking about, baby--
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"The Ex" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 5 Nov. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/the_ex_8040>.
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