The Extra Man Page #8

I'M WITH OTHER MEN,

HE JUST GETS:

WILDLY JEALOUS.

YES, VIVIAN, I WOULDN' ENCOURAGE HIM.

HE IS CHARMING:

AND HAS VERY WONDERFUL

LONG LEGS,

BUT HE SPIES ON YOU,

VIVIAN, IN PALM BEACH.

YES.

HE HAS BINOCULARS

AND HE LOOKS AT YOU

WHEN YOU UNDRESS

IN YOUR ROOM AT THE COLONY.

DON'T GET STARTED, ARESH.

- JUST LOOK AT YOUR MENU...

- YES.

...AND PICK OU AN ENTREE PLEASE.

HOW ABOUT BARBARASH'S

HEAD ON A PLATE?

( chuckling )

YOU SEE?

YOU'RE NO BETTER

THAN ANY OF THEM.

YOU'RE JUST AS JEALOUS.

WOULDN'T YOU AGREE

WITH ME, LOUIS?

WELL, WANTING SOMEONE'S

HEAD ON A PLATE:

WITH FLAMING COGNAC

DOES SOUND A LITTLE

JEALOUS TO ME.

WHAT "FLAMING COGNAC"?

( laughing )

"FLAMING COGNAC"!

- ( all laughing )

- LOUIS, I LIKE YOU.

I LIKE YOU SO MUCH.

( shouting Arabic )

( laughs nervously )

I DIDN'T MEAN

TO OFFEND HIM.

DID I REALLY HUR HIS FEELINGS?

OH YES, I THINK SO.

ARESH OFFENDS EASILY.

I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

PLEASE EXCUSE ME.

( sucking )

HENRY'S PROTEGE.

ARESH.

SHE DOESN'T KNOW

HOW MUCH SHE HURT ME.

I'VE LOST MY COUNTRY.

EVERYTHING.

SHE COULD:

SO EASILY HELP ME,

BUT SHE DOESN'T EVEN

CONSIDER IT.

I AM THROUGH WITH HER.

I AM THROUGH:

WITH VIVIAN CUDLIP.

Mary:

LOUIS?

OH MY GOD,

IT IS YOU!

BRAD, THIS IS

THE GUY FROM "TERRA"

I WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT.

- THE ONE THA COVERED FOR ME.

- HEY, MAN.

- THANKS A MILLION, REALLY.

- SURE. SURE.

WE JUST GOT OU OF "THE WOMEN OF WORLD MUSIC"

SHOW AT CARNEGIE HALL.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP HERE?

- OH, YOU KNOW,

JUST HAVING:

DINNER WITH SOME FRIENDS.

HERE?

- YES.

- OH MY GOD,

THAT'S PERFECT.

LOUIS!

DON'T YOU DARE

LET ARESH'S NONSENSE

RUIN OUR EVENING.

I NEVER LOVED THAT IRANIAN

AND I NEVER WILL,

SO GET BACK IN THERE.

I HAVE TO GO.

I'LL SEE YOU AT THE OFFICE.

- COME IN.

- CHAMPAGNE.

UPSTAIRS TO THE LEFT.

OKAY.

I'LL CARRY YOU.

GOOD NIGHT, VIVIAN.

THANK YOU:

FOR A SPECTACULAR EVENING.

NO,

THANK YOU, DEAR BOY.

TONIGHT,

YOU WERE NOTHING SHOR

OF A PERFECT GENTLEMAN.

- ( door closes )

- AH, HERE WE ARE.

HENRY, YOU'RE WALKING.

YES, A MIRACLE.

GERSHON'S MAGIC VIBRATOR

GOT ME UP AND RUNNING AGAIN,

AT LEAST TEMPORARILY.

HOW WAS YOUR EVENING?

IT WAS WONDERFUL.

VIVIAN AND I GOT ALONG

BEAUTIFULLY.

YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED

TO DO THAT WELL.

I SENT YOU THERE

TO KEEP MY RIVALS AT BAY,

NOT TO BECOME ONE OF THEM.

ACTUALLY,

I FEEL SORRY FOR VIVIAN.

EVERYBODY SEEMS TO WAN SOMETHING FROM HER,

AND YET SHE'S

STILL SO SWEET.

SWEET? VIVIAN?

SHE'S A MONSTER.

YOU SHOULD SEE THE WAY

SHE TREATS HER STAFF.

IT'S LIKE SOMETHING

OUT OF "PETER THE GREAT."

OH.

WELL, MAYBE SHE'S

A SWEET MONSTER.

WHY ARE YOU PACKING?

- I'M GOING TO FLORIDA.

- HUH?

YES.

SUN, VERMOUTH

AND CODEINE IS:

MY ONLY HOPE FOR A CURE.

WHEN ARE YOU LEAVING?

TONIGHT,

ON THE MIDNIGHT BUS.

( sighs )

SO THERE WE ARE.

WHERE ARE WE?

I'M GOING

TO MISS YOU, HENRY.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

BUT I AM.

CAN I AT LEAST HELP YOU

WITH YOUR BAG?

THEY MAKE THEM:

WITH WHEELS NOW.

I'LL MANAGE.

SO TRY NOT TO BURN DOWN

THE APARTMENT,

AND NO GUESTS.

YOU KNOW THE RULES.

I'LL SEE YOU IN THE SPRING!

( horn honking )

SUNDAY MORNING:

BRINGS THE DAWN IN

IT'S JUS A RESTLESS FEELING

BY MY SIDE:

EARLY DAWNING:

SUNDAY MORNING:

IT'S JUST THE WASTED YEARS

SO CLOSE BEHIND:

WATCH OUT:

THE WORLD'S BEHIND YOU

THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE

AROUND YOU:

WHO WILL CALL:

IT'S NOTHING AT ALL

WATCH OUT,

THE WORLD'S BEHIND YOU

THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEONE

AROUND YOU:

WHO WILL CALL:

IT'S NOTHING AT ALL

SUNDAY MORNING:

SUNDAY MORNING.

( door opening )

HEN-- HENRY?

( keys jingling )

( gasps )

I'M OTTO BELLMAN.

I LIVED HERE ONCE

WITH HENRY.

HE'S IN PALM BEACH, YES?

OH. YES, HE IS.

I WOULD LIKE MY MAIL.

OKAY.

PLEASE, COME IN.

AND EXCUSE MY APPEARANCE.

I DON'T FORGE THIS PLACE.

IT IS MOST FILTHY HOME

I EVER LIVED IN.

WHY IS IT SO COLD?

HENRY KEPT I IN THE FREEZER.

( laughs )

OH, HENRY.

( laughing )

HENRY IS VERY ORIGINAL,

DON'T YOU THINK?

CHRISTMAS BALLS,

VERY ORIGINAL.

DANCING, VERY ORIGINAL.

SNEAKING INTO THE OPERA,

VERY ORIGINAL.

HE AND I WEN SIX TIMES TOGETHER.

THAT MANY?

WHAT IS YOUR NAME?

OH, I'M SORRY. LOUIS.

LOUIS?

- AH, LOUIS IVES.

- YES.

YOU ARE ON VIVIAN'S LIS TO ATTEND MY WEDDING.

I WILL MARRY:

HER GRANDDAUGHTER, YOU KNOW.

I'VE HEARD.

CONGRATULATIONS.

I'M FLATTERED TO HEAR

I MADE VIVIAN'S LIST.

I WOULD LIKE HENRY

TO ATTEND.

HE IS STILL MAD:

AT ME THOUGH.

HE ACCUSES ME:

OF STEALING HIS PLAY.

ANYWAY,

I WILL TRACK HIM DOWN

MYSELF IN PALM BEACH

AND CONVINCE HIM.

SO THE WEDDING:

WILL BE SOON?

YES.

THANK YOU FOR MAIL.

I GO SEE GERSHON NOW.

Mary:

BRAD IS ALWAYS COMPLAINING

ABOUT THE RATTY T-SHIRTS

I SLEEP IN.

OH NO.

- OH MY GOD.

- THE SALES GIRL SAID

IT WOULD LOOK GREAT.

OH YEAH!

- YEAH.

- HE'S GONNA--

SH*T, LOUIS!

- HOW EMBARRASSING.

- DON'T WORRY.

I HAVE THE SAME ONE.

( laughing )

MARY, COULD I TALK

TO YOU FOR A SECOND

- BEFORE YOU LEAVE?

- SURE.

I'LL WAIT FOR YOU

IN THE HALLWAY.

SO REMEMBER AT LUNCH

HOW YOU SAID YOU OWE ME

A BIG FAVOR?

- MM-HMM.

- WELL,

AS IT TURNS OU:

I HAVE BEEN INVITED

TO A SOCIETY WEDDING.

I'D LIKE

TO BRING A DATE,

BUT I DON'T REALLY KNOW

ANYONE MY AGE IN TOWN,

SO I WAS WONDERING

IF MAYBE YOU'D

ACCOMPANY ME.

UM...

I'M PRETTY SERIOUS

WITH BRAD RIGHT NOW,

- SO THIS IS--

- I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY.

I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE

IN A RELATIONSHIP.

I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE

WE COULD GO:

AS FRIENDS.

IN FACT, I'M SUPPOSED

TO GET INTRODUCED

TO A YOUNG WOMAN THERE.

THE NIECE OF THE BRIDE'S

GRANDMOTHER.

I REALLY JUST--

I DON'T THINK THIS IS

THE BEST IDEA.

PLEASE DON'T BE MAD.

I JUST THINK THAT HONESTY

IS SUPER IMPORTANT,

AND THE TRUTH IS...

IT MAKES ME:

UNCOMFORTABLE.

OKAY.

I UNDERSTAND.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.

I'LL SEE YOU MONDAY.

( dance music playing )

I ADORE YOU.

HEY, BABY.

CAN I GET YOU:

ANYTHING ELSE, HONEY?

NO, THANK YOU.

I'M FINE.

OKAY.

IS THIS YOUR:

FIRST TIME HERE?

YES, ACTUALLY IT IS.

I'M MISS PEPPER,

AND IF YOU'RE INTERESTED

IN DATING A WOMAN

LIKE ME, YOU CAN.

MANY OF THE BEAUTIFUL GIRLS

HERE ARE AVAILABLE

FOR A DATE.

FOR A DONATION, THAT IS.

I DON'T THINK SO,

BUT THEY ARE:

BEAUTIFUL.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND

HOW YOU DO IT.

OH.

YOU KNOW,

YOU'D ACTUALLY MAKE

A PRETTY GIRL YOURSELF.

PUT ON A FIERCE BLOND WIG

TO GO WITH YOUR BRIGHT EYES.

CONTOUR YOUR NOSE A BIT.

MY NOSE IS VERY MASCULINE,

ISN'T IT?

HONEY, IF THERE'S

A WOMAN IN THERE,

IT WOULD TAKE MORE

THAN A NOSE TO KEEP HER DOWN.

GEORGE?

YES.

YOU MUST BE SANDRA.

PLEASE COME IN.

WHERE DO YOU:

WANT TO DO THIS?

I USUALLY SUGGES THE KITCHEN.

OKAY. SURE.

GREAT. STRIP DOWN

TO YOUR UNDERWEAR

AND WE'LL GET STARTED.

THIS IS WHA I'D LIKE TO WEAR.

SURE, IF IT FITS.

YOU GIVEN ANY THOUGH TO THE WIG?

I BROUGHT THREE.

YES. I'D LIKE

BRUNETTE, PLEASE.

IN FACT,

I WOULD LIKE TO LOOK...

AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE

LIKE HER.

A PLUME OF DOOM:

WILL RISE:

ELUDING HEARTS:

AND SKIES:

DESTROYING EAGLES' EYES

WHILE WE ALL LAMENT

THIS BUSINESS:

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