The Falls Page #6

around have sex with everybody.

Oh, isn't that that show

about the three hookers

and their mom?

You're talking about

"All in the Family".

No, that's "Golden Girls."

No, that's "Golden Girls."

You boys like my knife, huh?

Yes, it's nice.

Yeah. Do you have any snacks?

No we're

talking about his life.

Oh, whew!

This is nice.

Has this been

here the whole time?

Yeah, been there

since I moved in.

It was here when I moved

here in fact I didn't know

what the heck it's

supposed to mean.

Do you guys remember

raise-raising roof?

That was pretty cool.

I had no idea what

you're talking about.

Chris and I have never

seen these films with the

inappropriate parts in them,

Mormons watch a lot of

edited edited videos.

For instance, the versions of

Casino and Goodfellas I'd seen

were only 35 minutes.

We also showed Rodney

some IDS favorites.

This is messed up, man.

We began to spend a

lot of time with Rodney.

He's on disability and he

needed to stay at home.

He's on disability and he

needed to stay at home.

There are times

he's a little on edge.

He just needs some

human contact sometimes.

I like to think though

Chris and I are

straying from our duties

that we are doing some good

by spending time with him.

So what are you guys

gonna do after you get home?

Um, I'm not sure.

I still have a lot

to go on my mission.

School, I guess.

Yeah, probably the same.

You don't sound

very enthused about it.

You don't sound

very enthused about it.

How old are you guys, anyway?

I'm 20.

20, huh, when I was 20

I still hadn't joined

the military yet.

I'd been working with this

assembly plant for two years,

saving up money.

One day I just

walked in and quit.

I ain't give two weeks

notice of nothing I just-I

just quit and I got in my car,

got an oil

change, got new tires,

picked up my brother

Mark and then hit the 35.

And I just drove all over the

country for three months.

And I just drove all over the

country for three months.

Best time of my life.

You two should do

something like that.

I've always wanted to do that.

Yeah.

It'd be so cool.

You're 20.

Yeah, get out there

and live a little bit.

Do drugs, you know.

Get drunk.

Black out and not remember where

you are the next morning.

And have sex with

girls, have sex with guys,

have sex with both

at the same time.

These are the things

that you need to do.

You need to break in to a

library and steal the entire

collection of Hans

Christian Andersen books.

Get arrested.

Go to jail and

spend the night there.

You know, have

some life experience.

Eat taco bell.

Something's

different with you two.

Seriously, uh, ever since

the first time I met you,

I noticed that

things are different now.

Well, what's going on?

What do you mean?

Well, two seem to be

at a slightly different

disposition now

than you were then.

Huh, I see how it is.

I hope it doesn't

make you uncomfortable.

You kidding?

Nothing gayer than

the military.

You should see some

of the things I saw.

Ain't nobody's

straight in the foxhole.

Wow.

I can't believe this, you know.

I can't believe this, you know.

I got it.

I got these two queer pot

smoking Mormons sitting here

by the living

room eating tacos.

You okay, RJ?

Yeah.

Yeah I know.

Look boys.

I don't care if you're queer.

Straight or if I... you prefer

masturbation above all.

Straight or if I... you prefer

masturbation above all.

You boys are all right with me.

All right, well, you still, uh,

still want me to

read this book?

Still want me to

read this book?

So...

How do you feel about

about everything?

What do you mean everything?

Well, you and me

and the mission.

I guess I'm still trying

to make sense of it all.

How about you?

What do you feel?

I'm not an apostate.

I still have a deep

love for Jesus Christ.

So do I.

I think we're both

on the brink of

something new. It's

going to be rough.

We'll make it.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Wait.

Hello Elder.

Hello President Pearce.

Please have a seat.

Well, I'll get right to it.

Elder Harris reported to me

that yesterday he knocked on

your door then proceeded

to enter your quarters.

Why didn't you lock the door?

I thought I did.

Well, he obviously didn't

Chris because our zone leader

just walked in on

us together in bed.

Now I don't know how that

happened that night honestly.

Now I don't know how that

happened that night honestly

don't care but I can only

assume there's more to the

story than unorthodox

sleeping arrangements.

What are we gonna do?

I don't know.

I was also recently made

aware of your incessant

absence in both church

and missionary meetings.

Now I find this behavior

unacceptable and ungodly.

Now I find this behavior

unacceptable and ungodly.

You are not here to

entertain any subconscious

perversions you may be holding.

As a missionary, you have

done these things in the

eyes of our heavenly father

while serving your church.

God damn it.

Don't.

What?

Say the Lord's name in vain.

I've spoken to the

Stake President about this.

Yeah, 'cause I'm still Mormon.

And so am I but my

perspective has changed

a little since we started this.

And I suggest you stop

wasting your parents' money.

And I suggest you stop

wasting your parents' money.

Well, maybe mine hasn't

changed as much as yours.

What do you mean?

Maybe you're a bigger

f*ggot than I am.

F*** you!

And go home and

deal with these issues.

Be with your family and make

things right with God.

So Richard, do you have

anything you'd like to say?

No.

Well, thank you

and God bless you.

Oh, and could you send in

Elder Harris on your way out.

Thank you.

Hey, dad.

RJ,

your mom and sister are in bed.

Your mom and sister are in bed.

Okay.

Hungry?

Yeah. Thanks.

I spoke to your bishop

couple of days ago.

We had a long conversation.

He, uh, told me a story

about a young missionary

who came to him

before his mission and

told him about the

thoughts he was having

towards other boys.

The bishop said, he

should go on his mission

and he'd be fine.

"Go on your mission," he said.

"Go on your mission," he said.

"You'll come back

and meet a wife.

You'll be fine."

He also said that he didn't

need to mention it to anyone

else that the Lord has a way

of working these things out

in due time.

Well, that young missionary

came back after serving an

honorable mission, went to

the bishop and said he was

honorable mission, went to

the bishop and said he was

still having these thoughts

but he listened to his

mentors as they said,

once he met the right girl,

everything would change.

And he met a beautiful young

woman three months later.

They were married

within six months,

had their first child

by the end of the year,

a second child the year after.

Dad, I don't know what to say.

Dad, I don't know what to say.

There's nothing to say, RJ.

I went on a mission.

I wanted you to go on one

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