The Fan Page #2

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I will not have you speak

to me this way.

I have never seen you before, I do not

know you and I have no wish to.

Indeed, you have seen me before.

I can show you the place

where you first saw me.

This shop!

Television?

It was once Wallington's,

the jewelers.

That was before the First World War.

Dear man, it was before the Boer War.

It was on a beautiful spring day,

but it was not a very happy day for me.

I had no money left,

simply no money at all.

In my hotel suite,

the bills were piled like snow drifts.

'I'd known other times like it before

but it's curious how one

never gets used to destitution.

That day, I'd come to Wallington's

to sell my sapphire earrings.

Pardon me, gentlemen.

May I fetch someone to serve you?

No thank you, not yet. I...

I want to look at

your charming frivolities.

Every thread

of the Alenon lace is perfect

and the design

is extraordinarily delicate.

She must have it, Arthur.

I think she will be delighted.

I'm glad you told me about this, Cecil.

It's the perfect tribute to an enchanting

wife from an enchanted husband.

Really, Cecil. What a salesman

you would have made.

What a salesman you make!

If I may say so, Lord Windermere,

you're wise to be guided by Mr. Graham.

His taste is faultless.

Robert, the only way a poor

man can indulge his taste

is by selling it.

Your wit is improving, Cecil.

I'm entirely persuaded.

I shall take the fan.

You should have your wife's name

on the fan to make it more personal.

A most thoughtful touch.

- How would you do that?

- Something very delicate...

Rubies.

An exquisite tracery of rubies.

- That's it.

- Excellent. Her name is Margaret.

- And her birthday should be on it too.

- Very good.

It's the 24th of April

and be sure to have it done in time.

- She'll want it at her birthday ball.

- It will be finished in ample time.

- Good afternoon then.

- Good day.

- May I be of service, madam?

- Lord Windermere is mistaken.

Lady Windermere's birthday

is the 21st of April.

- Lord Windermere said the 24th.

- I just told you he was mistaken.

You must remind him that he is wrong

as soon as possible.

Certainly. If you say so, madam.

But I can't help thinking

that Lord Windermere

would know better than anybody.

Not better than anybody.

Her birthday is the 21st.

Oh, I'm sorry. I came to see Wallington

for a moment. Of course I'll wait.

There's no need to.

I'm glad of a bit more time.

There are too many lovely things here

for me to make up my mind quickly.

Thank you for your most

altruistic indecision.

I think...

my idea of having rubies on the fan

should be worth ten pounds more.

I think five pounds is sufficient,

Mr. Graham.

I was going to bring in the Duchess

of Berwick to see the emeralds.

Very well, ten pounds, Mr. Graham.

Thank heavens, I remembered in time.

My wife's birthday

isn't the 24th, it's the 21st.

I already know, m'lord.

This lady was kind enough

to inform me of the correct date.

I'm sorry, I couldn't help hearing.

- I'm so glad you did, thank you.

- Perhaps you wonder how I knew.

Well, my most innocent vice

is reading the news of London society.

There's been so much about Lady

Windermere's birthday ball on the 21st.

Of course,

the 24th is our wedding anniversary.

My memory is always

in a state of confusion about dates.

I'm afraid it's even gone

into a confused state about names.

You cannot blame your memory

for something that was never in it.

My name is Mrs. Erlynne,

but you don't know me.

- But I do know you, I'm sure.

- No.

Perhaps Lord Windermere

wishes that he did.

- You came back too, Cecil.

- Why, certainly!

I thought of taking another look at some

of Wallington's precious little trinkets.

- I'm sure we have met.

- No, Lord Windermere.

I'm positive.

There's something about you...

I know this isn't the first time

I've seen you.

- And I hope it won't be the last.

- I've just decided to stay in London.

They say it's a very small place.

I hope it's true.

How remarkable that we should meet again

so soon, and in the same company.

I dare say you left a glove, Robert.

- Of course.

- But you've got both gloves on.

I carry a third glove to leave behind,

then I can return

and find out how my friends

have been improving their opportunities

behind my back.

They really don't deserve it,

Mrs. Erlynne,

but let me present.

Lord Darlington, Mr. Graham.

The two best dressed men in London.

But there is a difference between us,

Mrs. Erlynne.

You see, I live by my wits.

Lord Darlington is a much more

usual type. He lives on his money.

The witty so often

undervalue the rich

and vice-versa.

The settings on my earrings

are rather loose.

Will you have them tightened,

and send them over to me?

- To Mrs. Erlynne, Albemarle Hotel.

- Yes, madam.

Good afternoon.

No, I didn't sell

my earrings after all.

It, shall we say, came over me

that it was not going to be necessary

to part with them.

I knew one of you three men

would solve my problem.'

Is her ladyship at home, Dawson?

- Yes, m'lord, in the ballroom.

- In the ballroom?

Will you please get down

before I have heart failure?

I'm measuring how much garland

I'll need for the decorating.

I greatly admire your slender white neck.

It would grieve me to see it broken.

Darling, I wasn't in the slightest danger.

But it is sweet of you to worry.

Purely selfish. I'd hate to have

anything happen to you.

We've been married nearly a year and

I'm in the habit of having you for a wife.

Margaret, why won't you let people

do things for you?

- Must you do everything yourself?

- I love it.

What's the hurry with the garlands?

There's still three weeks before the ball.

I'm so excited. I think I'm going

to have the most beautiful birthday.

Your birthday is the greatest day

of history for me.

Thank you so much

for having been born.

- Dawson?

- Yes, m'lady?

- Is the tea ready, Dawson?

- Yes, m'lady.

Would you bring it in?

Here's a new offence. You've been

addressing these invitations yourself.

- The secretary could have done it.

- It's my birthday, it's my party.

They're my invitations

and I love it this way.

- Oh, what's Lord Darlington's address?

- Half Moon Street.

- What number?

- Just Half Moon Street will reach him.

- That will be all, Dawson.

- Just London would for that matter.

You didn't show me the announcement

of your birthday ball in the society news.

Why, there hasn't been any.

This is to be our own very small party.

- Are you sure there was nothing?

- Quite. I hate that sort of thing.

My aunt always said a lady should have

her name in the papers only three times.

When she's born,

when she's married and when she dies.

I was particularly careful

to avoid any report of our ball.

So there was nothing about

the ball in the papers.

Yes, this was their house.

This was where they were happy.

My dear lady, you've painted a very

pretty little picture of domestic bliss.

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