The Fan Page #3

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Arthur told me about it.

Now I'm supposed to imagine

an intimate little supper

with Windermere pouring out all his

confidences as well as the champagne?

Oh, no. Nothing half so formal.

He told me on one of his visits.

As a matter of fact, he called on me

at the Albemarle the very next afternoon.

- Windermere, the model husband

- Windermere, the model husband.

And you have accused ME

of trying to destroy their marriage?

I wanted to keep that marriage happy.

Madam, it does no good

to stir up these things.

Dead scandals have earned

the peace of their graves.

Here is where we really must part.

- Good afternoon, m'lord.

- I'm seven minutes late.

I was unavoidably detained

by an absolutely unforeseen occurrence.

We are quite ready for you, m'lord.

I cannot get used

to this strange new world.

The streets of London

are positively unsafe.

In broad daylight, one is badgered

by all sorts of insistent females

full of memories.

One is literally pursued.

Thank you, Simpson.

May I be of service, madam?

Lord Darlington is in there, isn't he?

- Really, madam, I...

- I want to talk to him at once.

This is most irregular, madam.

Madam, is there no place sacred?

Not when I want something,

and I want my fan, Robert.

I must ask you again...

I've told madam

this is unprecedented...

Please leave us,

we are very old friends.

Come along, Robert.

Come and verify my statement

and then I can have my fan back.

I can verify nothing for you.

But of course you can

when I help you

to remember a little more.

- Do you smoke?

- No thank you.

It may clear you memory.

No thank you, madam.

Please don't trouble,

let me light it.

- It's good of you to permit me to smoke.

- Will you permit me?

Do you enjoy it?

Not a bit, but I enjoy

the outraged looks on people's faces.

Including yours, Lord Windermere.

I'm not at all outraged, Mrs. Erlynne.

I find your vices most fascinating.

For instance, I could find no reference

to my wife's birthday in the...

...in the society news.

- I lie so clumsily.

I can't imagine your doing anything

any way but gracefully.

You wonder, don't you,

how I knew about your wife's birthday?

- Of course, I came here to ask you.

- I'm indebted to your curiosity.

But you must let me stay

clothed in mystery.

Mystery is a most important garment

in the wardrobe of an adventuress.

- Adventuress?

- Yes, does the word shock you?

To me it only means

one who loves adventure.

You must have had many of them.

In Paris, Constantinople,

Cairo to Shanghai.

Oh yes, there were quite a few.

Although they were all

of a certain sameness.

I'm ready for a different sort.

I've decided to try

the most challenging of all.

The adventure of making a place

for myself in London society.

A beautiful woman alone?

The odds are against you.

Yes, a hundred to one.

But they're the kind of odds

I prefer. Don't you?

- You appeal to my sporting sense.

- I know, I meant to.

- How will you make your start?

- I thought you'd tell me that.

- Well, be seen at the opera.

- Splendid, I'm so fond of the opera.

The singing never interferes

with the conversation.

May I help to see that you get

a box for the season?

- Naturally.

- And you should go to the races.

I'm not so fond of racing.

I never gamble except with my future.

Besides, racing is for the many.

I want something more difficult.

I want to start right in

with the... favored few.

That is decidedly the more difficult.

Still it can be done.

With your aid of course.

Look, here's the kind of thing I mean.

The finals of the Mask and Foil Club

on Saturday next at Temple Gardens.

Now, the Mask and Foil Club

is ideally select.

Besides I love to watch fencing.

Are you a contestant?

No, I'm the referee. Cecil Graham

and Lord Darlington are the finalists.

Mr. Graham told me

when he called this morning.

If Cecil is that quick at the tournament,

Darlington had best look to his laurels.

It should be a splendid match.

Is Lady Windermere going?

Mrs. Erlynne, I'm afraid it's almost

impossible for you to go to the fencing.

- Almost impossible?

- The tickets are reserved for members.

Yes, but surely you could arrange that

a... shall we say, friend, could come?

Well, you see...

it's a matter of subscription.

It's a very old club and they're quite strict

about these things.

In short, you don't think

an adventuress would belong there.

No, no. I...

I didn't say any such thing.

Yes you did, dear Lord Windermere.

You said it in all sorts of languages.

I... I think I should go now.

I still don't know

how you knew my wife's birthday.

I'm glad. I keep my mystery.

You're very kind

to have let me stay so long.

- I've made you keep someone waiting.

- Oh no, you haven't.

They're my own inventions.

I always keep them inside

so that when a gentleman calls they

provide an opening for a conversation.

We didn't need one, did we?

- I hope we meet again soon.

- I'm sure we shall.

Probably at the fencing match,

Lord Windermere. Good afternoon.

I'm heartbroken

to have kept you waiting,

but business matters,

you know how they are.

Or rather, I hope you will never

need to know, Lord Adolphus.

Augustus, dear lady, Augustus.

Augustus Lorton.

Yes, of course.

How could I have confused it

when Augustus has always been

one of my favorite names?

There's something so regal,

so Roman Empire about it, it suits you.

You were saying when my...

my matter of business interrupted us?

I'm so fortunate in having this letter of

introduction to you from Mr. Whistler.

Oh yes, Mr. Whistler.

What a dear disagreeable man.

This is the sketch he did

for the 'Lady in Silver' -

his portrait of me done years ago...

too many years ago!

Dear Jimmy.

I so wish I could paint.

Oh, there are always

such quantities of artists.

You, I'm sure, have rarer gifts.

I know you're someone famous.

Where is it I saw your name

in print only lately?

Oh, I know!

Aren't you a member

of the Mask and Foil Club?

I'm second vice-president.

How wonderful of you!

Do make yourself more comfortable.

- Won't you have a cigarette?

- Thank you.

Mr. Whistler has indeed done me

a favor, in introducing me to you.

Oh no, Lord Augustus.

The favor is to me.

- Why don't you sit here?

- That will be fine.

- Do you think it's going to rain?

- I don't think so.

Look, there's Darlington, all ready.

Thank you, Lancelot.

Excuse me a moment.

- Good afternoon, Arthur.

- Hello. I hope you're in good form.

- Well, I hope I won't disappoint you.

- Excuse me, Margaret.

I want to apologize, Lady Windermere.

Now, what have you done?

I told you the other evening that even

you could never look more beautiful.

Now that I see you today,

I find I was wrong.

I wonder why a man

thinks he's pleasing a woman

when he says things to her

he doesn't mean.

- But I do mean them.

- I hope not.

I like you very much, you know that.

But I shouldn't like you if I thought

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