The Fan Page #6

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and besides, I never cry.

Quite right, my dear.

Crying is the refuge of plain women.

But it's the ruin of pretty ones.

- It was a pleasant evening, wasn't it?

- I loved it.

We should go to the theatre more often.

Society is at its best there.

All the chattering comes

from the other side of the footlights.

So different from the opera,

isn't it?

Did you hear what somebody said

about the opera?

They enjoy it because the singing

never interferes with their conversation.

- Who did you hear say that?

- I don't know.

Somebody told me

somebody had said it.

So late in the season,

people repeat almost anything.

I'll recommend you as a hairdresser

to all my friends.

I should be glad to serve them,

but my heart wouldn't be in my work.

If it should be, I'd kill them.

Are the plans for your birthday party

all in order?

I really think I've attended

to every single thing about the dance.

No, I haven't. I didn't send a card

to Mr. Hopper.

I must do it at once.

- You must do no such thing.

- I promised the Duchess.

You can keep your promise

in the morning.

You didn't tell me

you saw the Duchess.

- I met her at Philippe's.

- How many reputations did she destroy?

Oh, she was rather interesting today.

She talked about you.

What did she say about me?

Except, of course, the highest praise

for my character and for my tailor.

I didn't pay much attention to most of it.

In fact, to any of it.

She did say you were extravagant.

It seems you've been buying houses

and horses and all sorts of things

for some mysterious lady

that recently came to London.

Mrs. Erly, or Eryl,

I really don't remember.

Well, I'm glad

you don't pay much attention to her.

Why should I?

You remember what she told us

about Lady Jansen and her husband

and that incident in the South of France.

Come, let's have no more horrible stories.

Did you see anyone pleasant today?

- Yes. I met Lord Darlington.

- Oh, Robert?

I saw him too,

or rather I caught a glimpse of him.

- He went past me in Curzon Street.

- Curzon Street?

What were you doing

in Curzon Street, Arthur?

I was endeavoring to get

from one end of it to the other.

Why do you ask

such nonsensical questions?

I don't know. I suppose I must have

nonsense in my head.

You're tired, darling, that's what it is.

You need a rest, I think we both do.

- Why don't we go abroad after the ball?

- That's curious.

- What is?

- You're suggesting that we go abroad.

The Duchess suggested it too,

she thought it would be a very good thing.

Then for once the Duchess and I agree.

Even she can't be wrong always.

No, I suppose she can't always.

- Is something wrong, darling?

- No, I was just thinking.

- What about?

- Lady Jansen.

She and Lord Jansen no longer live

under the same roof. She left him.

I said that the Duchess

had to be right sometimes.

It has to do with the law of averages.

- Arthur, what's the matter with you?

- What's supposed to be the matter?

- You just shouted.

- I didn't do anything of the kind!

And if I did, you show me the man

who can discuss the Duchess of Berwick

without losing his patience.

And you show me the woman.

Margaret, what on earth are you doing?

Of course.

You couldn't wait to see what

your birthday present was.

You know what happens to little girls

who can't wait

and steal a look at their gifts, don't you?

Don't look so frightened.

I'd love to give it to you now.

You needn't wait a moment longer.

Happy birthday, Lady Windermere.

Oh, it's lovely, it's enchanting.

You're an angel, Arthur,

you're my good angel.

You've kept me from doing something

I should've been very much ashamed of.

- What could you do to be ashamed of?

- I couldn't sleep.

My mind kept going round and round

about the Duchess and Lady Jansen

and houses and horses

and mysterious women

and about how the Duchess

was right sometimes and...

Then when you said

you'd been in Curzon Street I...

I kept thinking.

Suddenly I just had to know.

It wasn't about the birthday present.

- It was because I was going to.

- Going to what?

Because I was going to look

at your check book.

Margaret, that isn't like you!

I know.

Wasn't I an idiot? All this fuss and worry

when all I needed to do is to ask you.

Darling, you're so tired,

you must go to sleep...

You would have told me, wouldn't you?

- It's nearly morning, come to bed.

- Wouldn't you?

- Please Margaret, it's so late.

- Arthur, tell me now that it isn't true.

Will you stop this foolishness?

Have you been paying money

to this woman?

- Then I must find out for myself!

- You don't understand.

Things are not always what they appear.

- Mrs. Erlynne, 600 pounds.

It's insane to misconstrue circumstances.

- Mrs. Erlynne, 400 pounds.

- Things seem to be what they're not.

Mrs. E, 700 pounds. Mrs. E...

Oh, it's all true!

- I only ask you to trust me.

- Trust you, after what I've just seen?

After the money

you've given and given to this trollop.

- You mustn't say such things about her.

- Why mustn't I?

Because they're wrong.

As long as I've known Mrs. Erlynne,

her conduct has been beyond criticism.

- Perhaps it's true that many years ago...

- Please, spare me the story of her life.

Listen to me.

Mrs. Erlynne lost everything,

threw it away if you like.

All she wants is a chance to get

her life back again, to have a new start.

That's all she wants from me

or from anyone else.

- I've tried to help this woman.

- So I can see from your check book.

Margaret, believe me.

I've done nothing to hurt our love.

You have. You thought

because I had no father or mother

that you could humiliate me and

degrade me and I'd do nothing about it?

It drives me mad when I think of you

and that woman

congratulating each other

on my ignorance.

Laughing and smirking together

while I trust in you.

I wish to Heaven, I could find

a way to hurt you

and her as you two have hurt me.

And I will find it, I will!

You'll see that I will.

- Good afternoon, Bessie.

- Good afternoon, madam.

- Has anyone called?

- Lord Windermere has been waiting.

If I'd known you were coming

I never would have coaxed Augustus

into playing that second set.

The house is beginning

to look like a house, isn't it?

I've been involved with masses

of upholsterers and drapers.

I had to plead, virtually on my knees,

with the carpet dealers

or there would have been

no new carpets for months.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Erlynne,

but there will no further need for carpets

or anything else for this house.

- And why not?

- Because you're leaving it.

You're leaving London, leaving England.

- Margaret knows everything?

- Not everything, but enough.

- Who told her?

- Some 'friend'.

I'm sorry I didn't tell her

the truth myself from the first.

Curious. I regret my bad actions

and you regret your good ones.

All London is gossiping about this house

and the money I gave you.

- You take these things too seriously.

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