The Fan Page #5

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You understand that, don't you,

Lord Darlington?

- My life was not devoted to lying.

- It didn't have to be.

You let the lies come to you,

and then used them most adroitly

in your attempt to break up

the Windermere marriage.

Yes, but I honestly loved Margaret

and I had no hope until I heard

those stories about you and Arthur.

His visits to you, and his paying

for your house in Curzon Street.

That gossip was a godsend to me.

It was my chance.

- And you took it.

- And I took it.

I knew she was going shopping that day

so I waited for her

and followed her

to the Burlington Arcade.

It was too great a temptation.

And you know that a man can resist

everything except temptation.'

If I had known you were coming

this way today

I would have covered the street

with flowers for you to walk upon.

Good morning, Lord Darlington.

I've been so busy, I almost forgot

to get slippers to dance in.

You're always the sweet exception.

Other women think first of their costumes,

then of the occasion for them.

You know a great deal about women.

It's rather too bad

you've made it your only study.

I admit it was a waste of time.

I found that out

when I began to study you.

I'm not sure I like

being observed so closely.

What will you forbid me next?

To look at flowers, to see the sun?

What a fascinating puritan you are.

The adjective was quite unnecessary.

Perhaps I am rather a puritan.

After my mother died,

my father's sister took charge of me.

She taught me to remember

what the world is forgetting,

the difference between right and wrong.

- She allowed no compromise?

- Nor do I.

I wonder if you wouldn't

consider a compromise

in a case such as I happened

to hear of recently.

The case of a young married couple.

The husband has become involved with

a woman of rather doubtful character.

So doubtful in fact that there is

no doubt whatsoever about it.

He calls on her constantly

and he's said to be paying her bills.

Don't you think that in this instance

the wife has a right

to seek consolation elsewhere?

You mean because the husband is vile

the wife should be vile too?

- Vile is a terrible word.

- But it's a terrible thing, Lord Darlington.

Look, Agatha.

There's Lady Windermere.

My dearest Margaret,

how pleased I am to see you!

Agatha, tell Lady Windermere

how delighted you are to see her.

Yes, Mama.

How do you do, Lord Darlington?

Do have the good sense to leave us.

There are two things a man

should never find out about a woman.

What she really thinks of him

and the size of her shoes.

I suppose we shall see you

at Lady Windermere's ball.

It's not a ball, it's only a dance.

It's small and early.

Very small, very early and very select.

We know that. I don't know

what the rest of society is coming to.

One meets the most dreadful

people everywhere.

They certainly come to my parties.

Yours is one of the few houses

left in London where

I can take Agatha

and feel perfectly secure.

By the way, Margaret, have you sent

an invitation to Mr. James Hopper?

I don't know Mr. Hopper.

He's that Australian

everyone is taking so much notice of.

His father made a fortune by selling

some sort of food in circular tins.

Most palatable, I believe.

I fancy it's the thing

the servants always refuse to eat.

- Mr. Hopper is quite taken with Agatha.

- Of course, I'll send him an invitation.

I'm so much interested in Australia.

Agatha has found it on the map.

It must be so pretty with

all the little kangaroos flying about.

Australia is a very young country,

isn't it?

Wasn't it made at the same time

as the others, Duchess?

How clever you are, Margaret.

No, no Darlington.

You mustn't dream of talking to Agatha.

You're far too wicked a man.

Come now.

As a wicked man I'm a complete failure.

Everyone says I've never done

anything really wrong in my life.

Of course they only say it

behind my back.

Goodbye, ladies.

What does he mean by that?

I suppose we shall never find out.

- Come on, Agatha.

- Yes, Mama.

- Goodbye, Monsieur Philippe.

- Au revoir. A dans 15 jours.

Margaret, you tell him dear.

He never understands my French.

He must come from some little village

where they speak a sort of patois.

The shoes need stretching.

My little toe hurts me

whatever I do with it.

- He'll bring another pair.

- Yes dear, I understood that.

- Agatha, darling?

- Yes, Mama?

See those shiny buckles over there,

aren't they charming?

Yes, Mama.

- Go over and look at them more closely.

- Yes, Mama.

Dear girl, she's so fond of shiny things.

Such a pure taste.

I do so admire you, dear Margaret.

You're being so brave about this.

- Brave about what, Duchess?

- And wise.

But the best thing you can do is

to take him to Vichy for the waters.

- Take whom?

- Why, Arthur of course!

Then you can keep him

under your eye all day long.

I assure you, my dear, that on several

occasions I had to pretend to be very ill

and I was obliged to drink

the most unpleasant mineral waters

just to get my husband out of town.

He was so strongly susceptible.

But he'd never give away

any large sums of money to anybody.

He was too high principled for that.

My dear Duchess, won't you tell

what you are talking about?

My husband and I, believe or not,

married for love, just like you and Arthur.

We all begin like that.

And before the year was out, he was

running after all kinds of petticoats.

Every color, shape and material.

Please, Duchess,

what is all this about?

Wicked women get our husbands away

from us, but they always come back.

Damaged, of course, but they

come back. What pretty slippers!

Do you mean wicked women in general

or some particular wicked woman?

- I mean Mrs. Erlynne, naturally.

- Mrs. Erlynne?

I've never heard of her.

What is she to do with Arthur?

Everyone looked on Windermere

as such a model husband.

Please, Duchess. Is it necessary

to discuss this in front of...

- He can't understand a word I say.

- I can't either.

That woman has actually

taken a house in Curzon Street

and they say that Arthur goes there

four or five times a week.

She must have got

a great deal of money out of somebody.

It seems she arrived in London a few

weeks ago without anything to speak of.

Now she has a charming house, drives

a pony in the park every afternoon

and all this since she's known

poor dear Windermere.

But her house and her horses

can't be due to Arthur.

Margaret, tell him I'll take these shoes

and I'll take them with me.

Somebody is giving her money

and it isn't Augustus.

He's head over heels about her,

exactly what one would expect of him.

But he's given her nothing.

I know because I examine

his check book every night.

You look in your brother's check book

without his knowledge?

- Of course I do. Agatha?

- Yes, Mama?

- Well, get the shoes dear.

- Yes, Mama.

- You're not going to cry, are you?

- You needn't be afraid, Duchess.

I don't believe a word of this gossip

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