The Final Test

Announcing on Track 12,

the 2:
03 from Southampton.

Steve!

Extra specials here.

- Here you are, sir.

- Thanks

- Senator Baumbacher?

- That is so.

Would you mind a moment, sir?

Is this your first visit to England, Senator?

That is so.

Have you any special purpose for you visit?

No sir. My visits purely exploratory.

While here, I hope to have the opportunity ...

... of observing as many aspects as possible

of the British way of life.

I shall study closely the present

crisis and the settling of it.

Heard the news?

Englands finished.

Hasnt got a ruddy chance.

Thats it.

Little Hope for England.

England May Collapse Today. The Crisis.

Well, I dont know.

I still think Englands got sort of a chance.

Ah, thank heaven, you at least

have not been ...

... bitten by this bug of defeatism.

I beg your pardon, sir?

You said, you still think that England

have a chance?

Oh well, if it doesnt rain,

I think well pull through.

Ah, you mean the harvest.

No sir, I mean the Oval wicket.

Weve 550 odd runs to make in the first innings.

- And if those Aussies ...

- Be so good, sir, as to inform me ...

... what the blazes youre talking about.

Cricket guvnor.

The final test.

England versus Australia at the Oval.

Cricket?

Now that is illuminating.

Ive heard these stories about

the passionate excitement cricket ...

... arouses over here, but I never

did realise it could drive a grave ...

... financial crisis off the national headlines.

Well, you see, sir, since the war we've

had quite a few of these financial crises.

One a year on average.

And we only get the Aussies over

here once in four.

Perhaps thats what it is.

But of course a war, I grant you, is different.

But a crisis ...

Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.

- Where to, sir?

- The cricket game.

Oh, you mean the Oval.

Excuse me, sir, please.

-Good morning.

-Morning.

Going to be an exciting day?

-I hope not.

-Oh?

All I want is to see the boys piling up

the runs quietly and not getting out.

I dont want any excitement, thanks.

Pardon me, sir, but as a stranger in these

parts, may I ask a question?

Go ahead.

This, I gather is the fourth day

of this particular game.

I also gather that during the past few weeks,

there have been four other games.

... each of five days, between these same teams.

Correct.

I also gather that this particular game

cannot possibly decide anything ...

... whichever team wins.

Thats right.

It is also, I am told, very possible that

neither side will in fact win this game.

Well lets hope so.

Now, looking around this field,

Id say at a rough estimate ...

... there are 30,000 people here.

About that.

Now you hope there will be no excitement

That is, you would say ...

... a fairly general view among

all these spectators.

Well, of course ... if theyre English.

I see.

Yes, I see.

Well, what was your question?

Theres plainly no point in asking.

Perhaps youd be kind enough to tell me

something about the state of the game.

Well on Thursday and Friday,

the Australians batted and ...

... they made that score you see over there:

Is it important that I should

know what declared means?

No... But on Saturday, we had a spot of rain

so there was only about 10 minutes play.

And the crowd all got rain checks.

Good Lord, no. Theres no guarantee of play.

Look on your ticket, its very clearly marked.

In those 10 minutes, Hutton and Washbrook,

the English opening pair made 7 runs ...

... for no wickets. So in the next two

days, its up to England to try and ...

... avoid getting beaten.

I see. Couldnt they go further

and try and win?

Oh Good Lord, no.

Theres no hope of that.

By Jove, theres something happening.

-What?

-Well, theyre taking the rain covers off.

Yes, that certainly is something.

You mean they may actually be going to play.

Well, if it doesnt rain in the next half hour.

Of course, it might rain,

and that would wash play out altogether.

That would be fine.

You dont, I gather, then feel completely

confident of your players skill.

Weve got some good opening batting.

Thats our weak spot there, No 5.

- Five, S Palmer

- Mmm. Old Sam Palmer

He used to be good, but hes

just about had it now.

Who are you looking for, Sam?

My youngster and his Auntie.

Theyre not there yet.

Your Reggie?

I thought he was away to school camp.

No, he got back last night.

Listen Frank, if Cyril arrives early

I dont want to see ...

- ... any square cutting off the fast bowlers.

- No.

At any rate, not at the start.

And if theyre bouncing ...

... be careful. Dont try and hit them for six.

Okay. Youre the boss.

- Nervous as a kitten, isnt he?

- Well, you cant blame him, can you?

How did you feel, your first test?

Like him, I suppose.

Didnt know whether it was Christmas or Easter.

Have a word to the lad, Sam.

Alright skipper.

Hows your Reggie getting on?

Oh, wonderful. Really wonderful.

His last report said that I ought to send him

for a scholarship to Oxford.

I meant his cricket.

Oh. Oh well. He can bowl a bit, you know

and he does make a few runs, now and then ...

... for his ...

Well, its his schools third XI, he plays for.

Still, I cant say, mind you after what

Ive seen that hes likely to be...

Another Sam Palmer.

Well, we cant expect everything, can we?

Hes keen, skipper, mind you.

Keen as mustard, he is.

Dreamy night.

Turgid night.

Umbrous night.

Umbrous night!

Ebon night?

Ebon night!

Reggie, you still here?

I told you to go out to the Oval

and Id meet you out there.

Okay Aunt, what is the time?

Its 20 past eleven, and youll be late now.

Oh, they probably wont start on time.

Oh yes they will.

Its a lovely sunny day outside.

Well, that doesnt mean theyll

start on time, Auntie.

The wickets probably drenched.

I dont know anything about that

but your Dad spent a lot of money ...

... for your seat, and Im not

having you wasting it.

What have you been doing, anyway.

Oh.

Well, Ill just go put my new hat on.

- Are you ready?

- Yes

Well, it doesnt look like it to me.

What about your hair.

Oh Aunt, whos going to worry about

my hair at a beastly cricket match.

Beastly cricket match?

Ill thank you, Reggie Palmer,

to remember that youre the son ...

... of a very famous cricketer ...

... whos playing in probably

his last test match ever.

And its up to you, to say the least of it ...

... to show him enough respect

not to sit in the expensive ...

... reserve seats at the Oval

looking like a Dervish.

Now you go up to your room

this minute and comb your hair.

Sibidus had fled, another new night

had locked the satyrs of my ...

... locked the satyrs of my heart.

And when Auroras opal light ...

... through open portals ...

Oh no, whats it, the ruddy suckers.

Reggie

Well, thats a nice way to comb

your hair, I must say.

Come here.

Auntie, are you sure you want

to go and see the whole days play?

Of course Im sure.

Why?

Well, you know you are as bored

by cricket as I am.

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