The Final Test Page #5

- No, Ive had my two, dear.

Well, have this one on the house

to celebrate Franks hundred.

Oh, I dont mind if I do.

Here, put a little something in

that to take home, will you dear.

Youre just in time.

Mild and bitter?

No, Im off it tonight.

Ill have a lemonade or something.

Not on the house either.

Did I love you or you or you?

Or all three equally?

A direct question demands an answer after it.

Say. Say. Say!

And so as my soul flies, rocket pure,

through that great dome of discovery ...

... that men call the sky, and as

the scarlet thread of my tangled life ...

... is rewound on the remorseless looms

of the Gods, so do I give you my answer.

My answer is ... Yes.

Oh that was wonderful, Auntie.

Yes dear. Wonderful.

Imagine his answer being Yes.

Oh, I think that mans a genius.

- Time please.

- Goodnight Cora. Goodnight all.

There you are, dear.

Have it on the house.

Watch your step, Daisy.

Oh, Mr Harbolt will see me home.

Won't you, ducky?

Not tonight, Daisy.

- Goodnight Cora.

- Goodnight.

- Goodnight Mr Sefton.

- Goodnight dear.

Time gentlemen please.

Not you dear, of course.

I didnt know you met Frank Weller.

- Didnt you?

- Goodnight, Cora.

- Goodnight, dear.

- I thought Id told you.

- You didnt, you know.

Didnt I?

Must have forgotten.

Goodnight, Mr Burrows.

- Goodnight Mrs Pepper, come again.

- Goodnight Cora.

- Goodnight Cora.

- Goodnight Tony. See you tomorrow.

- Goodnight.

- Come on Bill, youre always last. Theres a good boy.

Cora.

- Oh Fred, you can lock up now.

- Okay.

- Mmm?

- About this chap, Frank Weller.

Oh? What about him?

I wouldnt see to much of him, if I were you.

- Oh? Why not?

- You know why not, Cora.

You know his reputation

... with the girls.

Well, like he was involved in a divorce case?

Nothing in that except bad luck.

- How often have you seen him.

- Twice. Why?

Well, did he ... Has he ...

Well, I mean, did he suggest that ...

Of course he did.

He suggested I fly to Bagdad

with him next Tuesday.

Oh, talk sense Sam Palmer, do.

No need to take that tone, Cora.

What Im telling you is for your own good.

Not for yours, I presume.

I dont know what you mean about that either.

Well, its a funny thing. You said

exactly the same thing about ...

... Matt Parsons and Mr Hardy.

Well, it was two of both of them.

You know what they were after.

Of course I know what they were after.

How do you know I didnt want them to get it.

- Cora!

- Id like to know why you think ...

... you've got the right to manage

my life, Sam Palmer.

Its not as if there was ... as if

there was anything between us.

For the last two years, youve just

stood at that bar gooping away ...

... and making goats eyes every

night of your blasted life ...

... whenever you were in town.

And apart from a few kisses ...

... under the mistletoe at Christmas

and some mushy letters that dont say ...

... anything more definite than

I wish I was back at the old stud again ...

... nothings happened. Nothing at all.

Nothing.

And yet, if I so much as look at

another man, you talk as if ...

... I was tottering on the brink

of a bottomless pit or something.

Well, I dont know, Im sure.

Id just like to know what ...

... Im supposed to be doing while youre

waiting around there to make up your mind.

Put a veil over me face?

Crack a bottle over the head ...

... of the first man who tries

to be a bit friendly with me?

You behave as if we were married or something.

Well, were not married and were

not or something either.

And if you want to know where

Im going next Tuesday after hours ...

... Im going to the Spotted Dog with Frank Weller.

And I shall go anywhere else he wants to take me.

Perhaps even to the bottomless pit.

Who knows.

And my time was up 5 minutes ago.

And I dont need any more help, thank you.

And if you dont want to get me

into trouble, youd better buzz off.

Well, I dont know what to say, Cora.

I dont think theres anything to say.

Well, I suppose youre right.

Im ... Im nearly old enough ...

... to be your father.

Thats no reason why you should behave like one.

That thing you said just now about ...

that thing about or something.

That was a joke wasnt it?

Oh, I gave myself a stitch laughing.

Id like to think it was a joke.

Im a bit old fashioned, you see.

And well, the girl I ask to ...

... to marry me. You see I want to be

well you know sure about.

Very interesting, Im sure.

I really dont see what your views

on marriage have got to do with me.

Oh ... Goodnight Cora.

Goodnight.

How many runs exactly did Frank Weller make today?

A hundred and twenty.

Im going to double that, tomorrow.

Well, well see wont we.

Yes. Well see.

- Auntie ...

- Mmm?

Do you think, I dare ring him up?

Ring him up? But theyd never

give you his number.

I know the number. It was on his letter.

But you cant go ringing up famous

authors in the middle of the night, love.

But its not the middle of the night,

and Im sure he wouldnt mind.

After all, I only want to tell

him how much I enjoyed his play.

No one could object to that.

Well, I know I wouldnt.

And then I could just slip it in

about sending him the poem, and ...

... and then I could be sure hed

read it couldnt I.

I dont know, Im sure.

But Henleys only a toll like this ...

only about ninepence.

Reg, Im not at all sure about this.

Four of the one card in the universe

that gives him the pack ...

... you have to play.

Well, if youd given me some

indication as to what you wanted ...

... instead of sitting there goggling at me.

Are you suggesting that I should

have cheated, is that it?

Well you usually do.

What an absurd idea.

Pay no attention to my secretary.

Her sense of humour ...

... is roughly as acute as Neros.

- Partner, may I go out.

- No. Yes.

Damn, answer it will you, Sammi.

You answer it. Youre nearer.

My secretary.

Hullo. Yes this is Alexander Whitehead speaking.

This is Reginald Palmer ...

Reginald Palmer.

Yes, I sent you some poems the other week.

I just rang up to tell you how

much I enjoyed your play ...

... Follow the Turtle to My Fathers Tomb

Yes, it was on television tonight.

This is entirely your fault.

Im in the clutches of a ...

... hysterical fan.

Oh, thank you so much. No, Im afraid

I didnt see it myself.

I was working.

Did you know they were televising

Turtle tonight?

- No. Were they?

- Youre sacked.

You sent me some poems?

Oh yes yes, of course I remember.

Yes, I thought they were excellent.

Oh thank you so much Mr Whitehead.

For heavens sake, rescue me Sammi.

As a matter of fact, the one you

told me to rewrite ...

... Im sending down to you

first thing tomorrow morning.

Yes, Im afraid I missed the last post.

Oh, thats splendid.

Ill tell you what Ill do.

To be quite sure that I get it.

Ill have my secretary ...

... Miss Fanshaw pick it herself up from

the post office on her bicycle.

No no, she wont mind at all.

Its only two miles.

- Not all of its uphill.

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