The Firm Page #6

if you weren't such a f***ing bully.

All right, champ? How's yer luck?

- All right, Bex? Just finishing up.

- The old man about?

No, l think he's still in the feather.

Good. l'm sans motor,

as you know, need a lift.

You got time?

Come on. Save me calling a sherbet, eh?

Sweet?

Yeah, sweet.

Oi, oi. Where you goin', Dom?

You ain't finished.

- l'm just giving Bex a lift.

- All right, Bill?

lt's Bob. Look, can't he jump on the bus?

l need the van.

We'll only be ten minutes. Lively, champ.

Lively? Look, l'm not being funny, mate,

but you can't just chaw me van.

- l'm tryin' to run a business.

- All right, all right. 'Ere you are.

- There's a ching there for petrol. Take it.

- l don't need your readies, kid.

You all right, Dom? You look a bit peaky.

Yeah, l'm sweet.

You all right, with your feet on my dash?

- Yeah, l'm all right. You all right?

- Am l all right?

Yeah. You?

You got something

you want to say to me, Ben?

- Bob.

- Sorry, Bob.

l'm f***ing murder round names.

l'm only playing about with you, mate.

Come on, let's shake on it, eh?

Come on. Come on.

We'll see you in a minute. Come on, champ.

Ta-ta.

Yeah, no one takes the piss

out of me, champ.

Especially not that f***ing Yeti.

We're gonna give him the surprise

of his life, in't we? Know what l mean?

Yeah, they got Forest away on Saturday.

Means they gotta go through

London Bridge station.

That's where we land on 'em.

Yeah, you watch.

l'm gonna annihilate that Yeti.

What's the matter with the missus?

Rumping someone else?

To be honest, mate,

l ain't exactly flavour of the month, am l?

That car was our wedding money.

Yeah, know the feeling, mate.

Little Sammy got hold of me Stanley,

stuck it in his mooey.

F***in' hell! ls he all right?

Yeah. Just means more sweets, don't it?

Yeah.

- Anyone quoted you on it yet?

- Nah.

Nah, not yet. Thought l'd do some work

on it myself first, you know?

Then get the insurance in.

Make it look like a proper write-off.

- Bit like the Yeti, eh?

- What?

He'll be a write-off

when we've finished with him.

We're going back over there Saturday,

good little unit. Didn't Trigger tell you?

What's the matter with you?

Look, Bex. Don't you think

all this is getting a bit out of hand?

Your car, my car.

Usef getting cut. You seen him?

He's had 20 f***ing stitches down his face.

So? This is payback time, innit?

You can take it out on the Yeti

yourself if you like.

Nah. Not for me, mate.

Look, l've got too much to lose.

- Oh, what, and l ain't?

- Look, Bex.

- l ain't bottling, all right?

- Nah?

Well, it come like that to me, star.

Oh, well. Done the Yeti's pal for Usef.

Might as well do the Yeti for you.

Don't do nothing for me, mate. Just leave it.

F***in' hell, Bex.

The Yeti's still gonna be there next season.

Yeah, but you won't. Cos from now on,

you don't come anywhere with us.

l don't want to see you on the plot, l don't

want to see you talking to any of my firm.

What are you getting so heavy for?

lt's just a game of football.

Well, it ain't a f***ing game to me.

You're breaking my heart, Snowy.

l'm gonna do that Yeti if it kills me.

Without you.

l make a bad enemy, Snowy.

Avoid me.

F***ing geezer.

Start the car, bollocky.

You can drop me round me mum's.

Yeah, thanks for that, champ.

See you at the meet, eh?

And get some sleep and all.

You need your wits about ya.

- Bex.

- What, mate?

- l'm supposed to be...

- Supposed to be what?

You can't miss this. This is where

you really make a name for yourself.

- Yeah, but, Bex...

- See you there.

- l'm supposed to be helping me dad.

- Nah.

Nah, you'll be there. Ta-ta, champ.

Mum, it's me.

- l should stick a Tampax in you.

- Why?

Cos you're a c*nt.

- Wish it was that easy, Tel.

- lt is that easy.

Just drop him out

and stop playing the big man.

You don't know what they're like, mate.

- l know one thing.

- What?

l want my mate back.

Yeti. Yeti!

Yeti! Yeti! Yeti! Yeti! Yeti!

All right. All right. Sweet.

All right, James? Sweet?

Hand them out, Dom.

- Sweet?

- Bex.

- Hello, Bex.

- Bex, you all right?

- Yeah.

- Good to see you, mate.

You're up for this, all of ya? Eh?

You all all right?

What's the matter? Bit quiet today.

l left me brain at home, didn't l?

- Seemed like the most sensible thing to do.

- Oh, yeah? Why's that?

This is suicide, Bex. lt was bad enough

last time when we was mob-handed.

'Ere, there ain't even 30 of us.

lt's f***ing stupid, that's all.

- Oh, what, l'm daft, now, am l?

- No, l'm not saying that.

No? No, you're not, are you?

- Sounds like it to me.

- l'm not saying that.

- Bex, leave it out.

- Who are you talking to?

- He's just a... Look, just leave...

- What? What are you stuttering for? Eh?

- l was just saying.

- Don't just f***ing say nothing.

Don't talk to me like that in front of mates.

- l didn't...

- What you tryin' to do?

- Make me look like a f***ing Toby?

- l didn't say nothing.

Don't interrupt me either,

when l'm talking to ya.

Listen to me! Let me say something to ya.

You f***ing drove me mad

to get involved with us.

Followed me about like a little dog.

Even went and bought

the same pair of trainers as me.

No, l know about that turn-out.

Do you lot know?

This little no-good c*nt went and bought

the same pair of trotters as me.

Even made out like he'd had 'em for ages.

What, and now you want

to have it on your toes, do ya?

Cos your bottle's gone

and you think it's on us?

- Mm!

- Nah.

Nah, it don't work like that.

See, you ain't like Snowy and that mob.

They live miles off the plot. They can

run and hide and keep their nuts down.

But you? You live on the f***ing manor.

You'll have to bump into me every day.

And l can't stand seeing people

that let me down, it f***ing drives me mad.

So you're in, champ.

Right to the f***ing end.

All right?

- All right?

- All right.

Yeah, good.

Good.

That's f***ing playground behaviour,

that, innit?

Someone ought to report me

to the headmaster.

What are you smiling for?

What you f***ing smiling for?

Stand up, all of ya.

We got run last week.

Well, it ain't gonna

f***ing happen this week. Eh?

The pub ain't open,

so you ain't gettin' laggin'.

Oi, oi, Trigger! Come on.

All right, Bex.

- You all 'ere?

- All ready, mate?

Come on. Let's go.

All right? No shoutin' when we get

round here, Trig. Tell this little mob.

All right, shh. Shut up, all of ya.

Don't want this mob to know we're coming.

All right, mate?

- You up for today?

- Hey, Yeti!

Yeti, l swear l've just seen Bex

get out of his motor round the corner.

Look, he ain't gonna have the front

to turn up here after last week, is he?

- How many handed?

- Firm-handed, mate.

Hold up. He reckons

Bex has just got out of a motor...

- They're 'ere!

- Come on, Yeti!

- Oi, oi, oi!

- Come on, Yeti!

Where are you now, eh?

Come on.

Come on, then, Bex, you f***ing c*nt.

Right! Steam through

these f***ing shitholes!

Yeah, you sh*t c*nt!

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