The First Day of the Rest of Your Life Page #5

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I can't give you a ride to college.

I'm seeing the doctor in 20 minutes.

What's wrong?

Backache.

You were in shape earlier.

His back has

When are you going to retire?

Give up the taxi.

Haven't you worked enough?

Enjoy life now.

Soon. I'll stop soon.

Come in.

Have a seat.

Mr. Duval. Robert Duval.

Just like Robert Duvall the actor?

Yes.

Colonel Kilgore in Apocalypse Now!

Yes, but I'm Duval with one "L."

"If I say it's safe to surf this beach,

"then it's safe to surf this beach!

"Either you surf or you fight."

"Smell that? You smell that?

"Nothing in the world smells like that.

"I love the smell of napalm

in the morning."

And Tom Hagen in The Godfather...

Sorry, I'm a fan of Robert Duvall,

like you are.

But to get back

to what brings me here...

My doctor, Dr. Lehman,

advised me to come to see you.

He told me...

well, not to wait,

that it was urgent.

That's not good.

Is it, doctor?

A specialist like you, urgently.

That's never good.

We'll see, Mr. Duval.

We'll see.

Hello. 23 Rue de I'Oratoire, please.

I'm on my way.

Wherever you want.

Are you kidding?

After the night we had?

Is it your first?

Yes, it's my first.

Do you have children?

I have three.

They're grown up now.

Look, he's driving!

That's great.

- Faster now.

- See that?

Thank you.

Goodbye.

Hello.

Rue Evariste Galois, please.

Know who he was?

Who was who?

Evariste Galois.

Know who he was?

A mathematician.

He invented an arithmetic function.

Exactly.

He died aged 20 in a duel.

The night before,

he stayed up writing theories

that still stand in mathematics.

He should have slept instead.

Maybe he'd have won his duel then.

He'd have had a lifetime

for his dumb theories.

Maybe.

You know the way?

Don't worry.

Don't you ever go wrong?

Take the wrong route, say?

All of a sudden,

you're totally lost.

Alone by the road.

Hoping a taxi will pass by?

We don't get along.

Not anymore.

In fact,

we never got along.

Know how Prune and I met?

I was making too much noise.

It disturbed her.

That hasn't changed.

That, plus my dumb job...

Know what a patient wanted?

A mad old bat...

She wanted her bulldog's nose done.

"A little snub nose

like Nicole Kidman's."

Dumb b*tch.

Dad, I feel I've screwed up for years.

So why don't you stop screwing up?

Gentlemen...

Loupiac-Goudillet '98.

Thank you, young man.

It's perfect.

Actually, Chteau Yquem '79.

- Be careful.

- You only live once.

At 15, I was in love with Delphine,

a girl at school.

One day, God knows why,

I sent her some hairs.

Hairs?

Yes, hairs.

Pubic hairs?

Pubic hairs. By mail.

I couldn't manage a love letter.

So you sent pubes. Logical.

I don't know why I did it.

I think it turned me on

to think she touched them...

or that when she opened the envelope,

a hair had fallen on her bed.

But that's not all.

Delphine was totally traumatized

by the letter.

She threw it away, disgusted,

saying that if it happened again,

she'd tell her father,

who was a cop.

So what I did...

was create a false lead.

After our gym class,

while the guys were in the showers,

I got some pubes

from Mathias Moreau's briefs.

The class whipping boy.

And I sent them to Delphine.

Mathias Moreau was expelled.

How did they know it was him?

He was a redhead.

A real redhead.

The only one in the school.

You realize you probably

screwed up his education?

He probably

ended up a delinquent.

Or a junkie.

A transsexual.

A communist.

A carnie.

Mathias Moreau?

Yes.

Robert Duval.

Remember me?

Chteaubriand High.

Robert Duval.

Bobby!

Robert Duval?

He's gonna belt him.

- I don't remember.

- We were in the same class.

The year of the pubic-hair thing.

The pubic hair...

Robert Duval.

Yes, I remember you now.

Bobby.

How about that.

What brings you here?

I need to talk to you.

Just a second...

If we were classmates,

you know my wife.

Delphine!

Delphine?

I recognized Delphine right way.

I mean, we were all

in love with her.

And Mathias Moreau got her!

I don't believe it.

She thought he did it out of love,

and she fell for him.

- Seriously?

- Yes.

Thirty-five years they've been married,

with four kids.

Do the kids know

how their parents met?

Wait for me!

Where are you going?

Dad!

What the hell's he doing?

Sh*t! My Berlutis!

I found a bottle

from the year I was born.

That's kind of old.

It might be vinegar now.

Aren't we witty!

This one's a goody.

- Not bad.

- Let me see.

Haut Brion 1945.

"Not bad"?

One of the world's top-10 wines,

and you down it in one,

eating pt.

Bravo. Very classy!

Very original.

Dad, this is for you.

- Thank you.

- It's not much, but...

It's pretty.

What is it?

A tiny little anorak.

No! It's to put behind your back

when you drive.

I heard it works really well.

Cut it out.

It's a great idea.

I want one.

All US taxi drivers have one.

If the taxi drivers have adopted it...

Thank you, kiddo.

By the way,

I'm getting an apartment.

You'll be alone here at last.

Alone here...

We'll see.

Can this wait until tomorrow?

I'd offer you a share,

but Eric's squatting my couch for now.

How's Homo erectus?

I haven't seen him in ages.

Not so good.

Caroline threw him out.

He wanted a kid;

she got a lover.

When do we get grandkids?

Isn't it about time?

Didn't anyone tell you?

- What?

- We're skipping a generation.

Don't joke about that.

A family's important, you know.

Watching you three grow

is the best thing I've ever seen.

Having kids...

is a wonderful experience.

I've drunk too much.

What are you doing?

Trying out Fleur's present.

Can't it wait?

Come inside now.

When I was a kid,

my pals and I used to play...

in the woods

near my grandparents'.

There was a ditch.

A huge one.

We wanted to jump over it.

"You're not up to it,"

we'd say, taunting each other.

But no one ever dared

to jump over the death ditch.

That's what we called it.

When you're a kid,

you say things like "the death leap,

"the death gully,

the death dive..."

Why are you telling me this, honey?

Because I went back

to the death ditch today...

to try to cross it.

You know what?

When I got there,

it was the same ditch.

Exactly the same one,

still as deep, still as impressive.

I still couldn't jump.

I wasn't up to it.

I quit smoking today.

Yeah, sure.

No, for good.

I love you.

I have to tell you something.

Mom?

All right.

Hi, Eric and Fleur.

Leave us a message.

Sweetheart, it's Mom.

Call me back, please.

Mom?

ROBERT JEAN DUVAL

DATE OF DEATH:
SEPTEMBER 3

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