The Five-Year Engagement

(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)

(FIREWORKS EXPLODING)

(TRAM BELLS DINGING)

(INDISTINCT)

(MUSIC CONTINUES

ON CAR STEREO)

(SIGHS) Man.

I'm excited

about this party.

Oh!

I saw a special

on Animal Planet today.

Yeah?

About how frogs can

spontaneously switch sexes.

Are you okay, babe?

Yeah, I just thought you

would find that interesting.

Oh!

What?

Shoot!

What happened?

I forgot that I have

an errand to run.

I have to swing

by the restaurant

and get the receipts,

I forgot.

Oh, you can do that tomorrow. You

don't have to do it tonight.

No, I promised Alex

that I would do it tonight.

Oh, Alex won't mind.

Yeah.

Let's just go to

my sister's party.

Let's get you a drink. I

think you probably need one.

We'll have a bit of a dance. I want

to get weird with you tonight.

No, I have to

swing by the receipts.

It's the end of the year and

the taxman waits for no one.

What is going on with you?

ls everything all right?

What is happening?

Nothing is happening.

Tell me what's going on.

Nothing.

Tell me what's happening.

Nothing's happening.

You look very

tense and sweaty.

Just tell me what's happening, Tom.

(SIGHING)

I was gonna ask you

to marry me tonight.

Oh, my God!

(GASPING)

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Oh, no, I love you.

I love you.

Oh, I love you.

I love you.

Oh, no. Did you

have something planned?

And I questioned you

too much, didn't I?

We had a plan. It was sort of

like a skit about the receipts.

With the receipts. Oh, just do

the thing, I want the thing.

Please do the thing

with the receipts.

I've been dreaming about those

receipts since I was a little girl.

Please.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

Violet! Tom!

What a surprise.

Are you here

for the receipts?

The taxman

waits for no one.

She knows.

VIOLET:
Yeah.

She knows what?

Alex, it's fine.

She knows already.

Dude, shut the f*** up!

Congratulations.

No,no,no! Just pretend

like I don't know.

Do the thing

that we planned.

Do the thing.

Really?

VIOLET:
Yep.

This is stupid.

L... (CLEARING THROAT)

Darn it, I can't

find the receipts.

Where are they?

I may have left them

on the beautiful roof deck.

Why don't you wait there while I

search for the receipts in the back?

Right this way.

Oh, my God! Babe!

Oh! Look.

Oh, Tom. Okay.

I will go ahead and look

for those receipts now.

What the...

Look at the bridge.

San Francisco

is for lovers.

Got it.

Violet,

it was one year ago tonight, on New

Year's Eve, when I first saw you.

(POP MUSIC PLAYING)

We were at a Make-Up-

Your-Own-Superhero party.

I was dressed

as Super Bunny.

VIOLET:
And I was

Princess Diana.

I turned to my sister

and I said, "Who is that

cute bunny?" And she said,

"He looks like

a murderer."

(CHUCKLING)

Which was harsh.

Well, then

this song came on.

(SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

TOM:
And I walked up

to you and I said...

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but what

exactly is your superpower?

VIOLET:
And I said, "Princess Diana

doesn't require a superpower.

Okay, listen, I'm not sure

exactly what you wanted,

but then it occurred to me

that I'm supposed to be

the one who knows you better

than anyone in this world.

And I remember that you saw Blood

Diamond and it really upset you,

so instead

I got you a ruby.

There are still

diamonds all around it,

tiny ones,

but this is vintage,

and I think

a hundred years ago,

diamond mining

wasn't as brutal.

I know that

doesn't make sense.

If you do not like this,

we can return it

and go to Tiffany's

and get a new one.

I actually have

an appointment there

with someone

tomorrow at 3:
00 p.m.

No, no, no.

It is perfect.

You know me so well.

Violet.

Yes?

Will you marry me?

ALEX:
Dude, dude, dude.

Chef Sally just showed up.

Right now. What?

You guys got to go. TOM:

What are you talking about?

I thought you said

you were sick.

(MUSIC STOPS)

Chef, can you not

do this right now?

SALLY:
Of all the people who have

stabbed me in the back, you?

You know what I should do?

Put you on the brunch shift.

Unless you're feeling too colicky

for that, you f***ing baby.

Chef, I'm trying to propose to

my future wife, just right now.

Literally, right now.

Oh! Wow.

Okay, wow.

Okay, congratulations,

both you guys.

Live long and prosper.

No, that's weird.

That's Star Trek.

Oh, my God.

I'm sorry.

It's okay.

Anyway-

(MOUTHING)

Violet, I love you.

I love you.

Will you marry me?

Yes.

I love you.

(INAUDIBLE)

(CHUCKLING) on, no!

When Tom first told us

about Violet and he...

PETE:
We thought that

he was lying to me.

For how could a woman

so pretty and intelligent...

Go for a guy so goofy

and without a cent?

CAROL:
And to be getting married

after only just one year...

Seems pretty short, don't

you think so, my dear?

Now, it's too bad Tom's last grandpa

just suffered a fatal stroke.

Because he would

have loved to be here.

And that's no joke.

And that's no joke.

CAROL:
To Tom and Violet.

PETE:
To Tom and Violet.

My daughter, Violet,

the first important thing

to remember about marriage

is that it

requires commitment.

The second important thing

to remember about marriage

is that so does insanity.

(WEEPING) Vi, you know I don't believe in

marriage, or kids or anything like that,

but when I see

you two together,

I get what the whole institution

is about, you know...

Sorry, I promised myself I

wouldn't cry and I just...

F***!

Come on, Suzie.

Come on, Suzie!

All right, I got it.

I didn't think...

(MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY)

(SUZIE SOBBING)

Take a breath, love.

All right.

Violet and Tom...

GEORGE:
Breathe, breathe.

(CHUCKLING) It's okay.

(IN SOMBER TONE) ...are perfect

for each other in every way.

And I feel

great about it.

And I love you.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

I love you so much.

I love you.

SUZIE:
And, Tom, (IN HOARSE

VOICE) I love you, too.

Oh!

(SOBBING) I'm sorry.

TOM:
That's enough. That was enough.

GEORGE:
It's all right, love.

VIOLET:
It's all right.

Amazing!

Are you ready for this?

Have you considered

your finances?

Do you know how many

children you want to have?

Indeed, do you want

to have children?

Where are you going to live? Do

you know each other well enough?

No, you see, the tendency when one

is young is to be rather naive.

One assumes that everything

is going to turn out

like some wonderful romantic

comedy starring Tom Hanks.

But, in reality, the sad fact

is that most relationships

end up like Saving Private

Ryan, or Philadelphia.

Doing a bit of a multimedia

presentation here, so just one second.

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

ON MIC:
Here we go.

Oh, Tommy boy, I've known

you for a long time.

TOM:
Yeah.

Violet, you are certainly the

love of his life. Mmm-hmm.

And we use this

moment to celebrate

a new future of

commitment and love.

But not without

first exploring a past.

Here we go.

(ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC PLAYING)

(SINGING) Jenni Newman, Greta

Kay, Anne Pefia, Lizzie Gray

Kelly Wozack, Dana Gilpin

and Lizzie Gray again

Jill McCarthy, Teresa Nassbaum,

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