The Fixer Uppers Page #2

Listen to me, you cheap brush-pusher.

If you think I'm going to come over there,

you're crazy.

You'd better be here at 12 o'clock!

If you're not, I'll search every corner

of this town till I find you.

Just a moment.

My friend wishes to speak with you.

Hello? This is me.

Yeah. Say, listen, if you had a face like

mine, you'd punch me right in the nose

and I'm just the fella that can do it.

Pierre! Where are you going?

I'm going to find your lover

and kill him on the spot.

It's a lucky thing for him

I decided not to go up there.

It sure is.

See who that is. It might be him.

Hello.

It sure is.

- Who was it?

- Some fella having a joke.

What did he say?

I said, "Hello,"

and the fella said,

"It's a long distance

from Atlanta, Georgia. '

And I said, "It sure is. ' Silly.

I wish there was some way

to put a stop to those jokers.

They get on my nerves.

Give me a small big one.

- I can't serve you any more.

- Oh, come on.

You want me to lose my licence?

Go on, get out of here.

Say, if you help me out, I'll help you out.

Listen, order me a straight whisky,

make out it's for you,

and if you do that for me,

I'll buy all the Christmas cards you got.

Who's gonna pay for the drink?

Sold. Garon.

- Sure this is the right place?

- It must be. It's on his card.

So it is.

Put them to bed, boys.

I think it's over there.

Put them in there, boys.

Is that you, Pierre?

Yes, it's me. Who did you expect?

- What happened?

- Nothing.

- I'm so glad.

- Naturally. But I'll find your lover.

Don't be foolish.

You know you're the only man I ever loved.

Look me in the eyes.

Are you telling me the truth?

Of course it's the truth.

Don't you understand I merely did it to make

you realise you've been neglecting me?

I'm sorry.

And I promise I'll never leave you alone

again as long as I live.

- What are you doing here?

- You told me to be here at 12.

- But not in my wife's bed!

- I got tired of waiting.

Follow me.

What did you want

to bring me back here for?

I don't remember coming back here.

- Well, I'm glad this is going to happen.

- Why?

At least I'll be rid of you.

- Come on!

- I'm coming.

- What'd he say?

- He said... Never mind! Come on!

- Pierre! I didn't know he was here.

- Move! That is more than I can stand.

- Do you understand the rules of this duel?

- No.

We stand back to back, take six paces

and turn and fire.

- The truest shot wins. Understand?

- Yes, sir.

I've taken out the real bullets

and put in blanks,

so when he fires, you pretend to die

and I'll get him out of here

and you make your escape.

Choose your weapon.

This is for you to give the signal to fire.

- Are you ready, monsieur?

- Oui, monsieur. Je suis pret.

Au revoir, madame.

Vive la France!

Now look what you've done.

You would sink so low as

to try and shoot me in the back, you rat?

- We've got to go now!

- Not until I dispose of the body.

I'm going to cut him up into little pieces!

Go on!

- You better get out! Goodbye.

- Goodbye!

Oh, no, you don't!

Oh, Pierre! Pierre!

Pierre!

You can come out now, he's gone.

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