The Flaw in the Alibi

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OK, recent studies

have shown that

one in four men

cheats on their wives.

And one in ten women,

cheats on their husbands.

Ray, I will explain.

Hey man, I'm so sorry...

Now that's aweful.

Truly depressing data.

I know this must look bad,

but it's not what it looks like.

- You, stop talking now.

- Okay.

Dorothy, you see

the red Potiac Fierro outside?

He works for your husband.

But then I realized,

imagine how much more impressive

those numbers could be,

if people thought they could

actually get away with it?

Here put these up

Two minutes, out the door.

I will take care of the photographer.

You, ten minutes after that,

half a mile down the road

there's an Exxon garage

call a cab.

Cynical?

Well, I prefer entrepreneurial.

My former partner,

the Great Jack McCadden

taught me, our job in life

is not to judge the ones

and desires of our fellow men

is to profit upon them.

And well, some might see this

as an unravelling of our social fabric

I say business is good.

- Ray

- Ray, my files are ready

Do me a favour, will you?

Double check the receipts

for the Feing account.

I'm super sorry about the other night, Ray.

I just lost her.

It's not good enough, Vic.

That's the third time

in the last three months.

Ray, we deed three dollars for

Wendy's birthday cake.

That is two months severance.

You need any contacts,

we'll hook you up.

We've got some issues with

the new DMV holographs.

Give it to Walter.

Do you want to sign off

on the new souvenirs?

Track me down this afternoon.

Ray I need approval on the travel account.

I did it, it's on your desk.

- Ray, this OK?

- Good.

New client?

Your eleven o'clock. you said you wanted

bigger brains around here.

Don't let the twins fool you.

They may look affectionate, but they're

actually in a battle for tank dominance.

They also like to breed

under banana leafs.

You can call me Lola.

- OK, let's go by

- Ray?

Benjamin's root canal is going over.

Also Peter Miller's pass code

isn't scanning the rhythm...

And I will talk to you

about it later.

So Lola, do you have any lunch plans?

You worked under Randall Pual.

Can I ask why you left?

I was one of seventeen Jr. VPs in out division

specializing interest derivatives,

market risk exposure,

plus a little P/L analyses

on the side.

- Sounds...

- almost as dull as it was.

And just a point of clarification,

I work with people, and for people,

never under them.

And what would you say

Your best quality?

- My patience.

- Great, great.

So, how close to the street are you?

Your shoes. Very fashionable

about five or six years ago.

You look like a woman who would care.

- Do you wanna talk about it?

- OK

I had banked some stock options from

this blossoming internet start-up,

and decided to seek enlightenment

in the Holy land.

I would have guessed Tibet...

I'm old school.

Can I ask you a question?

What exactly do you do?

Well this is a surprise.

- Putty. Good to see you.

- How the f*** are you, man?

F***ing good.

Getting any work?

I'm Retired.

I banked some stock options

from this blossoming internet start-up,

then decided to seek enlightenment in Tibet...

by the middle East.

The Holy land, huh? No sh*t.

Ray

I hear Jack's back on the radar.

Well, I wouldn't know about that.

No? Don't keep in touch with your old boss?

You guys were like...Batman and Robin.

Without the capes, of course.

I hear he was seen at the airport

he's hiding out in a bangalow

just up the coast.

Yeah, I heard it was a villa in Sweden.

I wouldn't put too much stock in idle gossip.

Nothing idle about a 5 million dollar

contract on the guy's head.

Excuse me, Sir?

We need to keep this lane clear.

I was looking for some good guys.

Ma'am

F*** are you looking at?

That was interesting, little creepy.

- So what can you tell me about him?

- I just met him.

I'd say high school graduate,

possibly a missionary or insurance salesman

although with obvious connections

to some sort of criminal enterprise.

Okay, what else?

So you know this, or you've heard this?

I know that Jack McCadden

conned the Sultan Qatar

out of 15 million dollars.

Yeah that's the legend.

What about this Ray fellow?

He was always just the frontman

Word is after the score

Jack disappeared with Ray's cut

of the Sultan's cash.

A Sultan?

That's some real Indiana Jones sh*t that is.

- Language Bobo.

- Sorry

- And would you say he is...

- Married or single?

Divorced.

If there were a woman's life

she'd make him a babe

little more with him

Excuse me.

So is this Sultan still want Jack bit?

What I hear, 5 million open contract

on Jack McCadden's head.

To clip a gifter, it certainly is.

OK, where is he now?

No no no, I will take it.

So, when can you start?

You asked me two questions

and offer me the job?

Ah, three.

I have sense about people.

We have to leave.

Now.

Seems like our new friend Ray

knows a very valuable man.

I don't know if Ray is still in touch.

He's handsome.

I think he's found religion.

What good is it for man to have faith,

if his actions do not prove it.

Con men don't reform.

They simply find better angles.

OK What do we do? We're a risk management firm.

- Which means?

- We're in the business of saving marriages.

How do you do that?

We grease the way

that makes state-of-the-art infidelity possible.

People who cheat get caught because, A they want to,

or B they're found somewhere they said they weren't.

Goodmorning Jay Z Incorporated?

Mr Williams is in meeting right now,

may I take a message?

We create a false reality,

making people appear to be

where they're supposed to be.

Adams and Randalph.

Mr North? Let me check.

I'm sorry, your wife

just got on a conference call.

I will try it when she gets off.

Fifth precinct.

Sykes?

He's running files to central. Can I help you?

I can try him on his walkie if it's an emergency.

So you help men cheat on their wives?

And wives cheat on their husbands.

We're an equal opportunity employer.

You're a professional liar.

Lies are the great foundation

of our society, Lola.

'Great outfit, honey.'

'Can't I give you flowers for no reason?'

And my personal favorite,

'Don't worry, it happens to lots of guys.'

But that's just being polite.

Fact is your average relationship

wouldn't last two minutes

if people told the truth.

We just help maintain the illusion.

Mom's happy, Dad's happy

and the kids don't have to

pick sides at Christmas.

So this is all for the children, then?

Families don't break up because of infidelity,

Thank you.

They break up because someone get caught.

Let me guess,

You're just a hard-working child

of a broken home

trying to save others

from the pain you went through.

I just see people for the well dressed,

good smelling animals they are.

Mate, eat, sleep and mate some more,

preferably with someone else. Come on.

But you can't really believe that.

Not everyone operate

on a purely primal level.

A man is as faithful as his opportunities.

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