The Flintstones Page #15

SLATE:

(modestly)

How about, 'Slate Needle'?

LAVA:

'Slate Need...'

(astonished)

... How do you keep coming up

with these? It's uncanny.

SLATE:

(shrugging)

It's a gift...

LAVA:

(casually)

Oh, that reminds me, sign these,

will you... just a few overruns

... minor cost problems... that's

it... thank you...

(CONTINUED)

76.

165 CONTINUED:
165

Slate's so busy admiring his moment to himself he hardly

listens to what Lava's saying, just runs his stylus

through the wet clay of the statements, meanwhile

"framing" the model city in his hands.

LAVA:

(heading for the

door)

... Oh, Mister Slate, we're going

to hold the Bedrock Junior Talent

Show in the uh, 'Slate Needle.'

Good for public relations -

Lava breaks off. He's just looked out the window and

seen -

166 LAVA'S POV -QUARRY BELOW WINDOW 166

A small figure appears behind some of the equipment,

tiptoeing from console to cabinet and thus towards

the assembly line.

Wearing sunglasses with attached nose and a hook-on

beard, it at first appears to be some sort of bizarre

hermit or bum... and then we realize, hey, this is

Barney!

167 LAVA 167

Looks around, spots Piltdown and Pyrite, now resplendent

in security guard uniforms. Lava whistles softly to get

their attention, can't. Then he sees one of Slate's

golf trophies. He shrugs, throws it.

168 BELOW -PILTDOWN 168

Reacts as the trophy bounces off his head, then looks up

to see Lava gesticulating. Piltdown nods, grabs Pyrite

in tow.

169 BARNEY 169

Looking around carefully, Barney takes out a Thermos

bottle, unscrews the top, and quickly dunks it into the

Fibrerock foam. Then he tiptoes O.S., right into the

massive bulk of -

170 PILTDOWN 170

--who looks down at him with a big smile, Pyrite at his

side.

PILTDOWN:

Can we help you... sir?

(CONTINUED)

77.

170 CONTINUED:
170

BARNEY:

(fake crotchety voice)

Ah, yup, yup, young feller... jest

show me the way to the personnel

office... I'm lookin' fer a job

as a custodian...

Our pleasure.

PYRITE:

Then they grab Barney with such force that the THERMOS

drops and SHATTERS, drag him O.S. -171

SLATE QUARRY -MAIN GATE -DAY 171

Barney is tossed outside, landing in a heap amidst the

picketing workers of Neolithic 101.

PILTDOWN:

(chuckling)

Ya can start by cleaning the

street with your pants!

Still laughing, Piltdown and Pyrite cross over to Lava,

who has come out of the office building.

LAVA:

That takes care of the half-pint.

(pause)

Now to deal with the half-wit.

CUT TO:

172 INT. LAVA'S OFFICE -DAY 172

Lava walks Fred from the door into the color-coordinated

high-style room.

FRED:

(on the move)

... But Barney doesn't want to

take a vacation --he says he's

gotta be here to check up on the

Fibrefoam ---

Oh?

LAVA:

(pointedly)

Or check up on us?

Emotionally, Lava turns, indicates a picture of Slate on

the wall.

(CONTINUED)

78.

172 CONTINUED:
172

LAVA:

Flintstone, that... that's a slap

in the face of our founder... our

employer... our uncle.

(turning back,

another tone)

Unless, of course, you agree with

Rubble... that Mister Slate isn't

capable of running this operation

... that I'm not capable of

running it?

FRED:

(nervous)

Of course not, Mister Lava.

But -LAVA

Call me Jerry. Sit down, please...

Fred complies. Lava winces as his designer FURNITURE

CREAKS under Fred's weight, but he only says -LAVA

(offering one)

... Cigar?

FRED:

Why, yeah, sure, Jerry.

LAVA:

Fred, let me get to the bottom

slime. Some men --you and me,

for instance --we're cut out for

the big time, the big bucks...

(eyeing Fred's

girth)

... the big everything.

Lava smiles, prepares the tips on two cigars.

each one in turn in a gizmo on his desk.

He puts

173 CLOSER -GIZMO 173

It's actually a frame supporting a little LIZARD. The

Lizard bites the tip off the cigar, practically chokes

on it, finally manages to spit it out with difficulty.

LIZARD:

(aside)

When they say smoking is bad for

your health, they're not kidding...

79.

174 BACK TO SCENE 174

LAVA:

And others? Wellll...

Now Lava takes out a lighter, leans across the desk.

175 CLOSER -LIGHTER 175

As Lava works the mechanism, two wooden twigs rub rapidly

across each other and ignite.

176 BACK TO SCENE 176

LAVA:

... Now, I know your pal Barney

had a small part in the preliminary

research and development of

Fibrerock...

FRED:

Well, actually, I wouldn't say

small part... I'd say...

LAVA:

Yes?

FRED:

... Kind of a medium-sized... well,

almost medium-sized... well, really

a semi-partial assistant counsulting

type, of -

LAVA:

(giving Fred a

playful punch)

You're too kind, Flintstone,

that's what I like about you.

But you're a big guy with a big

decision to make. Are you gonna

keep covering for Barney, keep

pulling his acornsauruses out of

the fire... or are you going to

concentrate on your own important

duties?

FRED:

Well, gee, that's tough one -(

pause)

--Uh, what are my important duties?

LAVA:

Publicity, Flintstone, publicity!

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

80.

176 CONTINUED:
176

LAVA (CONT'D)

And that's why I've got a little

surprise for you... for the man

who made Fibrerock a household

word, I want you to meet the man

who's going to make you a household

word...

Lava throws the door open. Fred's jaw drops as he

sees -

FRED:

R-rockin' Leach?

Indeed, it is he, and he smiles, extends his hands.

LEACH:

'Ello, Fred. I've 'eard a lot

h'about you from Mister Lava.

H'at's why we're going to put you

on our program.

FRED:

M-me? On --on television?

LAVA:

(patting his back,

sotto)

Right, Fred. As long as you

forget all this nonsense about

Barney.

FRED:

(still in a dazed

thrill)

Barney who?

CUT TO:

177 EXT. FLINTSTONE HOUSE -DAY 177

Three big dino-mounted trucks are parked in front. You

have to read the words on all three: "ROCKSTYLES OF..."

"THE RICH..." "AND FAMOUS."

Technicians roll out gear, set up big spotlights, etc.

178 CLOSER -YARD 178

Rockin' Leach is surveying the place with an aide. Fred

and Wilma are with them. Leach makes a "frame" with his

hands, "pans" the area.

(CONTINUED)

81.

178 CONTINUED:
178

LEACH:

Hmm. Lovely little guest 'ouse,

Mister Flintstone. So simple,

so ordinary, so unexceptional...

why, h'it's almost quaint. Let's

say we start with the camera 'ere,

except...

Leach breaks off, looks over the fence at the Rubble

homestead. He shakes his head sadly.

FRED:

W-what's wrong?

LEACH:

Well, just look at that yard over

there... barbecues and trikes, not

exactly the right image...

FRED:

(pointing)

Maybe you could move those plants

to block them out...?

LEACH:

Good idea. Rodney, get 'hoppin'

with those greens.

The aide nods, gathers some workers. They start moving

the potted plants. Puzzled, Wilma comes over.

WILMA:

Fred, this was supposed to be a

'typical evening' at the

Flintstones, and you invited fifty

people I don't even know. Now

what's going on? Where are they

taking my ficus-sauruses?

FRED:

It's the Rubble yard, Wilma.

just not the right image...

It's

He starts away, suddenly notices his own barbecue and

trikes... quickly, without missing a stride, he tosses

a tarp over them, slides a potted plant over for good

measure.

179 BARNEY AND BETTY'S HOUSE -SAME TIME 179

Betty, hair and face done, but still in a slip, is

putting a reluctant Bam-Bam into a cute little blazer.

In the f.g., Barney finishes tying a black tie, then

struggles into a dinner jacket.

(CONTINUED)

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote