The Flintstones Page #2

16 WOODPECKER'S TELESCOPE -IRIS SHOT 16

as the 'SCOPE PANS and FOCUSES, finally SETTLING ON a

distant stone building marked RADIO STATION B-ROK.

(CONTINUED)

5.

16 CONTINUED:
16

Perched on top of the wooden radio tower are a monkey

and an octopus. The monkey holds up cue cards which the

octopus reads, and then waves nautical semaphore flags.

17 BACK TO SCENE 17

Our WOODPECKER squints, CLEARS his THROAT.

RADIO WOODPECKER

(deeper "on-air" voice)

Good morning, Bedrock. This is

station B-R-O-K with the morning

weather and news...

18 IN THE BED 18

The big bulge GRUNTS and MUTTERS a bit, then one hand

gropes around, finds the curvaceous form under the

neighboring covers... feels it tentatively... then

the fingers "walk" upwards...

RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)

It will be fair and mild through

the weekend, continuing for the

next eight hundred years, followed

by cooling breezes and a protracted

ice age...

Those walking fingers have reached the top edge of the

covers... now they pull them down revealing the owner's

face... the face of Fred, his eyes at half-mast, his

face covered in fashionable "Bedrock Vice" stubble.

FRED:

(with genuine charm)

Wil-ma. Wil-ma? How about a

great big good morning kiss for

your Freddy-weddy?

And he pulls the covers down to reveal --DINO, who is

immediately "YI-YI-YI-YI-ING," hopping all over the bed

and showering Fred with sloppy kisses.

Dino!

FRED:

Dino, cut it out --!

RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)

In the news, Bedrock civic and

business leaders met yesterday to

discuss the growing kibble crisis.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

6.

18 CONTINUED:
18

RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.) (CONT'D)

Ecological activist Ralph Naderock

warned that if new supplies of

kibble are not found, our animal-

powered civilization itself may be

threatened.

By now Dino's affection attack has knocked both master

and pet to the floor in a jumble of bedclothes, asses

and elbows. Dino begins to roll Fred across the room

like a seal playing with a ball.

FRED:

Dino, that's enough --here, look,

Daddy has a nice dino bone for

you, just please stop it -

Fred has now backed up to a dresser, where he grabs a

brightly-colored box labeled "PURINROCK DINO TREATS."

Fred holds it up --Dino gets up on two legs, eager for

the treat --Fred shakes the box... alas, nothing comes

out.

DINO "YI-YI'S" again, propelling Fred into the next room.

19 INT. FLINTSTONE KITCHEN -DAY 19

Five-year-old PEBBLES GIGGLES at the table as Fred and

Dino tumble into the room like Frank Buck and a lion.

Wilma turns at the noise. One look at her and we understand

Fred's romantic turn.

RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)

In other news, Bedrock police

report that the Xenosaurus has

struck again! Yes, the fiercesome

intruder was sighted in the

Bedrock Hills for the third time

this month. Outlying shops and

residencies report extensive

looting and property destruction...

WILMA:

Fred, stop playing with Dino and

sit down. Your breakfast's

getting cold.

Saying this, Wilma puts a huge egg at Fred's place.

Meanwhile, Fred manages to get to his feet, holds out

one arm to keep Dino at bay. Fred does a big "take,"

looking out the window -

(CONTINUED)

7.

19 CONTINUED:
19

FRED:

(throwing open the

door)

Oooh, Dino, look --there's a

nice big dino bone laying out on

the front lawn --!

Pause.

yeah?"

Dino gives him a big look as if to say, "Oh,

FRED:

(trying again)

--Gosh, look at that adorable

little female dino -

"YI-YI-YI-YI," DINO is out the door like a rocket. Fred

cackles, slams it shut, then sits down at the table.

FRED:

--That animal's gonna kill me

with kindness. Do you know we're

out of dino treats?

WILMA:

So is everybody else in Bedrock.

That kibble crisis is getting

worse every day.

She puts two giant slices of bread into a toaster. Two

claw-like devices hold the toast, pulling it out of

sight.

WILMA:

I'm afraid Dino's going to have to

manage on leftovers from Pebbles

and me.

FRED:

(sitting down)

And what's wrong with my leftovers?

WILMA:

I'll let you know when I see

some.

RADIO WOODPECKER (O.S.)

(finishing up)

... Scientists from B.C.

University report that the

footprints of the Xenosaurus match

no known animal.

(CONTINUED)

8.

19 CONTINUED:
(2) 19

PEBBLES:

Mommy, is the bad Ze-ze-zenosaurus

gonna get me and eat me up?

WILMA:

Of course not, baby.

FRED:

That's right, sweetheart. The

only thing that's gonna eat you

up is --me!

And he grabs her and bites her and tickles her.

PEBBLES:

(giggling, calming)

I'm still a little scared...

FRED:

Pebbles, don't worry. These

stories are very exaggerated.

Like, you know, the boogyman?

There's no such thing as a huge,

inhuman reptile that attacks

without warning -

WHAM! Dino reappears, bounding through the window

and knocking Fred onto the floor. Once again Dino is

happily licking and loving and cuddling his callously

unresponsive owner. Fred struggles to avoid the

slurping tongue, pulls himself up to the window sill,

looks out.

FRED:

--Oh, look, everybody, the mailman

is here -

"YI-YI-YI-YI!" DINO buys it again, runs to the door,

lets himself out. This time Fred puts a chair against

the door.

Meanwhile, Wilma turns at the sound of the TOASTER

POPPING UP. We see that the "claws" we saw earlier were

the actual claws of a LOBSTER in a little fireproof suit

who is tucked inside the toaster. As Wilma takes the

toast, the Lobster blows on his claws, wincing, then

looks TOWARDS the CAMERA.

LOBSTER:

Well, it beats working in a

seafood restaurant...

(CONTINUED)

9.

19 CONTINUED:
(3) 19

FRED:

(taking the toast)

Thanks, Wilma...

Fred slaps jelly on the toast, takes a big bite, and then

something outside the window catches his eye.

20 HIS POV -STREET 20

A paperboy on a wood-and-stone bicycle is coming rapidly

towards the house. In the bike's basket is a stack of

dried, rock-hard clay tablets.

21 BACK TO SCENE 21

Fred leans out the window, waving his hands.

FRED:

Arnold! Arnold! Don't aim at

the house --please, not at the

house -

WHAM! Fred ducks back just as the stone newspaper slams

into the window frame, SMASHING a FLOWERPOT, taking out

a chunk of wall, and continuing diagonally through the

kitchen and out another window. Fred follows this

action in time to see -

22 HIS DRIVEWAY -THROUGH THE OTHER WINDOW 22

The rock paper drops like a foul shot, rips through the

canvas roof of Fred's car, and then bangs a huge dent

in the hood.

23 BACK TO SCENE 23

Fred sighs, turns back to his breakfast.

WILMA:

Lucky it wasn't the Sunday paper.

FRED:

(slight smile)

Yeah. What else can go wrong?

He slices through the big egg with his knife --releasing

a baby PTERODACTYL which SQUAWKS and flaps, knocking Fred

over as it takes off through the window.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote