The Flintstones Page #3

DISSOLVE TO:

24 EXT. FLINTSTONE DRIVEWAY -LATER 24

Fred --now dressed for work --is forlornly trying to

fix his car.

(CONTINUED)

10.

24 CONTINUED:
24

In the neighboring driveway, Wilma and Betty pile the

kids into Betty's car.

BETTY:

(wiping their mouths)

Come on, kids. Time for nursery

school.

PEBBLES:

'Bye-bye, Daddy.

FRED:

'Bye, little sweetheart.

(as Wilma clears

her throat)

'Bye, big sweetheart.

Fred kisses them both and they drive off. Fred sighs,

tries to stretch the canvas roof edges close enough to

stitch. Nearby, Dino struggles to drag the stone newspaper

inside the house. The twin headlines are, of

course, KIBBLE CRISIS GROWS and MYSTERIOUS XENOSAURUS

STRIKES AGAIN.

Suddenly a pink flamingo appears over the hedge. As its

mouth opens and closes, it appears to be talking, but

the voice is that of -

BARNEY:

Nice morning, huh, Fred?

FRED:

What's nice about it?

BARNEY:

Heh, hey. That Arnold's got a

real arm on him, don't he?

Now we see that Barney is holding the flamingo's stiff

legs which he scissors, making the bird's beak trim the

hedge.

FRED:

This is the third ragtop this year

... say, shouldn't you be at work?

BARNEY:

Ah, well, that appliance store and

me, we kinda had a little

adjustment -

FRED:

You got fired, didn't ya?

(CONTINUED)

11.

24 CONTINUED:
(2) 24

BARNEY:

Fred, don't start on me again. I

donno, I'm just not a nine to

five guy. I got dreams, Fred.

Ideas -

FRED:

Yeah, I know, I know, those

crazy inventions of yours. Be

honest with me, Barn... tell me

one thing you invented that

really caught on.

BARNEY:

I invented fire.

FRED:

(pause)

You invented fire?

BARNEY:

I told you that, Fred. But the

coal conglomerate ripped me off.

The case is still in court, but

meanwhile I got lotsa other

ideas -

FRED:

Yeah, but did any one of them

ever put bread on the table? How

long are you and Betty gonna live

on those penny-ante royalties you

get?

Fred pulls his car hood off of its wooden hinges,

examines it with dismay.

FRED:

If you ask me, pal, you're just

blowing smoke up your own

volcano...

BARNEY:

Maybe, Fred. But first...

He uses the flamingo's jaws to snatch the car hood

from Fred's surprised grasp.

BARNEY:

Let me try some of that smoke on

your car.

CUT TO:

12.

25 INT. BARNEY'S GARAGE/WORKSHOP -DAY 25

We can still see Fred's car in the neighboring driveway.

(We can also see Dino, who drags the newspaper on a

bit more, then collapses from exhaustion).

Barney's garage is cluttered with all kinds of odds and

ends, plus various inventions and scale models in

different stages of completion. (Interestingly, a

number of these anticipate Leonardo da Vinci's work).

Many of the models are made of a strange celadon green

material.

Fred watches, skeptical, as Barney presses the car hood

into some soft clay between two big blocks of stone.

BARNEY:

(as he works)

--See, the first step, we make

a mold of the old car hood, smooth

out the dent in the clay -

He tosses the original car hood aside with a crash.

Then, moving rapidly, he starts heaving a variety of

ingredients into the reverse imprint of the car hood.

BARNEY:

--Add some lava granules... some

woca leaves... juice from two

coo-coo berries...

FRED:

(impressed)

Two coo-coo berries? You made of

money, Barney?

BARNEY:

Anything for a pal, Fred --a

lump of coal... bamboo sawdust...

eucalyptus sap... a touch of the

La Brea tarbrush --and --voila.

Barney dips a finger in this mess, "tastes" it;

satisfied, he yanks on a hanging rope and a giant rock

weight slams down on the whole mess, making Fred jump out

of his skin.

26 NEW ANGLE 26

Fred is caked with dust. He coughs and spits.

FRED:

Barney, why don't you try inventing

a brain for yourself! Look at what

you did to -

(CONTINUED)

13.

26 CONTINUED:
26

He stops as Barney cranks up the weight on a ratchet,

proudly lifts out a perfect (though greenish) duplicate

of the car hood. As Fred examines it, impressed despite

himself, we...

CUT TO:

27 BETTY'S CAR -TRAVELING 27

The two kids are in the back seat. Somehow both of the

kids' faces are messy again. Working together with

beautiful precision, they are carefully dismantling the

rear armrests and door handles.

BETTY:

(in mid-speech,

driving)

... Oh, it's not that I'm complaining,

Wilma. I mean, Barney's sweet, but...

well, he's just not cut out to punch

a clock. And he's such a dreamer,

you think he ever once picked up a

hammer and chisel and tried to

balance a checkbook?

They pull up in front of a pleasant-looking simple little

nursery school. MRS. GRANITE, a pleasant-looking 65, sees

them from the schoolyard, waves while Wilma and Betty unload

the kids.

BETTY:

No, Barney just keeps looking for

that coo-coo berry pie in the sky,

and I don't want to pop his balloon

by talking about the price of

mastodon ribs.

She wipes off Bam-Bam's mouth with a handkerchief. Wilma

does the same with Pebbles and then they kiss the kids,

who immediately run into the schoolyard.

MRS. GRANITE

(approaching)

Mrs. Rubble, Mrs. Flintstone, I

wanted to thank you personally.

BETTY:

You're welcome, Mrs. Granite. But

we wipe their mouths every day.

MRS. GRANITE

No, no, I mean for all your wonderful

support the past few years. It's

parents like you that make me think

twice about retiring.

(CONTINUED)

14.

27 CONTINUED:
27

From the schoolyard comes the sudden sound of KIDS QUARRELING

and then a THUD and some CRYING.

MRS. GRANITE

On the other hand...

Wilma and Betty laugh.

WILMA:

We're really going to miss you,

too, Mrs. Granite.

MRS. GRANITE

Have you found another school for

the children?

BETTY:

We're still shopping around.

WILMA:

Fortunately, we're both -Wilma

and Betty straighten... salute.

WILMA & BETTY

(they've done this

routine before)

--Professional shoppers!

As the three women laugh, we...

CUT TO:

28 EXT. BEDROCK STREET -TRAVELLING -DAY 28

Fred and Barney drive along. (Behind them, the same

houses and palms seem to be going by... duplex, palm...

split level, two palms... duplex, palm).

Barney grins, gestures towards the front of the car.

BARNEY:

Not bad, eh? After it cures for an

hour or so, it's solid as a rock.

FRED:

Okay, you fixed a dented hood. But

you call that a living? Face it,

pal, this is the Stone Age, and it's

a dino eat dino world. You want my

advice?

Did I ever?

BARNEY:

(CONTINUED)

15.

28 CONTINUED:
28

FRED:

You stick with me today, cruise on

down to the quarry and fill out a

job application. I'm a big man

there, Barney -

BARNEY:

You're a big man anywhere, Fred -

FRED:

I'm serious, pal. Me and Mr. Slate

are just like this -

He takes his hand off the wheel to hold up two fingers...

ends up swerving instead.

FRED:

--just like that. I know, I know

--you're not a clock-punching guy

--but face it, Barney --it's time

to grow up and put your nose to the

grindstone, batten down the hatches

and join the ratasaurus race with

the rest of us.

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