The Flintstones Page #4

(meaningfully)

It's time to retire those dreams.

Barney looks glum, doesn't say anything. Suddenly Fred

pulls over, stops the car.

FRED:

Barney. Look.

29 WIDE SHOT 29

They're at the crest of a high wide hill.

BARNEY:

Hey. Lava Lane.

FRED:

Remember the old days, Barn? We

used to race our go-carts here to

impress the girls.

BARNEY:

(wistful)

Yeah, those were the days... we

usta dream about coming back here

some day with a real car and goin'

for the goldrock...!

A look from one to another, and then down the hill...

Fred gets a malicious grin on his face.

(CONTINUED)

16.

29 CONTINUED:
29

BARNEY:

Fred... I thought you said it was

time to retire those old dreams.

FRED:

Hey. Since when do I have to be

consistent?

The two pals laugh, and then with a whoop they begin

pedalling like mad. They go over the top, gravity takes

over and they are flying past that billboard with all the

Rotary Club welcomes on it. But now we see a different

sort of welcome, as a POLICE CAR ZOOMS out from behind it.

30 POLICE CAR -CLOSER 30

Inside are SERGEANT FELDSPAR and his rookie partner,

OFFICER GRAVEL. Cackling with anticipation, Feldspar

opens a box marked radar detector. Out pops a little

bird in a police helmet. It has a stopwatch (actually,

stop-sundial) around its neck. Feldspar points --the

bird salutes --takes off!

31 FRED AND BARNEY 31

BARNEY:

(spotting the cops)

Oh-oh! Fred, slow down --!

Suddenly both Fred and Barney see the RADAR BIRD flying

alongside them. It checks its stopwatch, writes a note

to itself. Fred is so preoccupied he doesn't notice

as -

32 THE POLICE CAR 32

cuts in front of Fred. Fred SLAMS on the "BRAKES," sits

helplessly as Feldspar gets out, walks over, grinning.

FELDSPAR:

Well, Flintstone, looks like today's

the day.

FRED:

Sergeant Feldspar, I... I wasn't

speeding... honest...

Fred reaches down to the floorboard as he speaks...

33 ANGLE ON FLOORBOARD 33

There's a box there marked RADAR BUSTER.

(CONTINUED)

17.

33 CONTINUED:
33

FELDSPAR (O.S.)

Forget it, Flintstone. This time

I got you dead to rights -

Fred opens the box. A scary-looking winged reptile

sticks out its head, smacks its hungry lips.

34 BACK TO SCENE 34

Confident, Feldspar jerks a thumb at the Radar Bird,

turns to his rookie partner.

FELDSPAR:

Gravel. Get me the radar reading

and I'll show you how we deal with

scofflaws.

Gravel nods, steps towards the bird. The bird checks

its stopwatch... and then it notices the flying lizard

which is hovering nearby, licking its lips.

RADAR BIRD:

Whoa! Wings, do your stuff --!

The Radar Bird flies away at a hundred miles an hour,

leaving a cloud of dust and the stopwatch behind.

Feldspar catches the watch, startled.

FRED:

Well, Sergeant, if you don't have

a radar reading, I guess we'll -

(quickly)

--justbeonourway --!

A new cloud of dust appears as Fred ROARS away.

FELDSPAR:

Flintstone! Flintstone, come back

here --!

CUT TO:

35 EXT. BEDROCK BUTCHER SHOP -DAY 35

Betty and Wilma have just pulled up. We notice that next

to their legal spot, a big limousine is parked in a "no

parking" zone. But our law-abiding Betty in the next

space now drops a stone coin in a parking meter.

36 CLOSE ON THE METER 36

Inside the window we see a LITTLE BIRD. It "bites" the

coin to check it, then turns over an egg timer.

(CONTINUED)

18.

36 CONTINUED:
36

LITTLE BIRD:

(with a sigh)

Four years in accounting school

for this...

37 INT. BUTCHER SHOP -DAY 37

It's absolutely mobbed. Customers push past each other

with armloads of food. Gigantic cuts of meat hang from

above or are on display behind the counter. MORRIS THE

BUTCHER looks up from the chaos and manages a weak smile

for the girls.

BETTY:

Morris, what on earth is going on?

You giving away Bronto filets?

MORRIS:

Ah, my two loveliest customers.

It's this darn kibble crisis, Mrs.

R... people are buying everything

I got to feed their dinos...

MRS. SLATE

Young man, if you're through

flirting, I'd like some service.

38 NEW ANGLE 38

REVEALING MRS. SLATE, who stands there, impatient and

overdressed.

MORRIS:

Of course, Mrs. Slate.

a number.

Just take

Wilma senses the tension, quickly steps forward to break

it with a smile.

WILMA:

Ah, hello, Mrs. Slate.

Morris reacts with relief.

blank look.

Mrs. Slate reacts with a

WILMA:

(prompting)

We met at the quarry picnic?

MRS. SLATE

Oh, of course. Mrs. Flintstein.

She turns her back to Wilma, forces her way towards the

counter again. Wilma burns.

(CONTINUED)

19.

38 CONTINUED:
38

MORRIS:

Ladies, the meat's not getting any

fresher. Mrs. R, what'll it be?

BETTY:

Oh, I'd like some ground mammoth

patties and uh... some dodo

drumsticks.

MORRIS:

Gino? We got any dodo bird?

GINO turns, looks at his end of the counter.

GINO:

There's one left --and it's the

last one!

MORRIS:

Good.

(handing him the note)

Give it to Mrs. Rubble along with

this.

Gino nods, smiling. He picks up a crate, begins to load

it with giant fryer parts and several manhole-sized meat

patties.

MORRIS:

(turning to Betty)

How about you, Mrs. F?

WILMA:

I just need a few things for Fred.

MORRIS:

'Fred...'?

(calling into the back)

David! Herman! Get Rob and BoBo

and tell 'em to bring the big

dolly!

VOICE FROM BACK (O.S.)

Flintstone again, huh?

MORRIS:

You got it. Now then... Mrs.

Slate?

(pointing at the

limo outside the

shop)

You're in a no parking zone there.

(CONTINUED)

20.

38 CONTINUED:
(2) 38

MRS. SLATE

Well, if I get some service, I'll

be out of it, won't I?

Mrs. Slate steps to the counter. Meanwhile, the staff

begin using a refrigerator dolly to bring out giant ribs,

steaks and sausages which they pile up in front of Wilma.

MRS. SLATE

I want a nice fresh, juicy

chickensaurus, Morris. And not

one you've had laying around on

the shelf. I mean fresh.

MORRIS:

Mrs. Slate, we're kind of busy

now -

MRS. SLATE

I don't care if you're busy. What

I care about is my adorable little

grand nephew. He's staying with

me for the summer and I intend to

make his favorite dish... Southern

fried chickensaurus! Now I want

a fresh chickensaurus and I want

it now!

MORRIS:

Boys, you heard her... she said

fresh.

39 THE STAFF 39

with a sigh, they buckle on elbow and knee protectors,

go to a side door, open it. Inside is another barred

door. They open it, go inside. Immediately we hear

loud SQUAWKING and CACKLING... THUDS, BUMPS...

40 NEW ANGLE 40

Suddenly the barred door slams open and a giant chickensaurus

comes bounding out, with Morris's staff hanging

all over it like rodeo cowboys. They try and restrain

it with ropes but it's enraged and flops around the

store.

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