The Flintstones Page #8

Betty smiles, touched. Then reality intrudes again.

BETTY:

What do we tell the boys?

WILMA:

What's wrong with the truth?

(CONTINUED)

37.

75 CONTINUED:
(2) 75

BETTY:

We put ourselves in debt so the

kids can attend school with a

family we can't stand?

WILMA:

(pause)

Maybe we could rephrase it...

Suddenly the door bursts open. Fred and Barney run in

with candy and flowers.

FRED AND BARNEY:

Surprise!

Pause.

BETTY:

Flowers?

WILMA:

Rock candy? That's nice, but...

why?

FRED:

Why? Oh, me and Barn, we suddenly

realized that we had a little spare

change.

WILMA:

(sotto)

Not anymore you don't...

BARNEY:

(presenting flowers)

Betty, these are for you. For

sticking beside me during the

tough times, and well... for

making a little guy feel like he

was ten feet tall.

BETTY:

Aw, Barney... I... I don't deserve

these. I did something really

stupid today.

BARNEY:

Hey. Fred does something stupid

every day and I still love him.

Fred laughs good naturedly, grabs Barney in a headlock.

FRED:

Noogy, noogy, ha, ha --!

(CONTINUED)

38.

75 CONTINUED:
(3) 75

WILMA:

(observing this)

Have you been drinking?

In reply, Fred whips a bottle of champagne into view.

FRED:

Ready when you are.

(noticing the label)

Hey, '1'... a good year.

This confuses the girls even more.

WILMA:

Fred, there's no easy way to say

this so -

She closes her eyes, swings the enrollment forms over on

the table so that Fred and Barney can read them.

Fred and Barney look at them, look at each other... and

yawn.

76 FAVORING WILMA AND BETTY 76

They can't believe this.

BETTY:

Boys... did you see... the dollar

signs there at the bottom?

WILMA:

The non-refundable dollar signs?

BARNEY:

Plenty more where that came from.

FRED:

We see your dollar signs, ladies...

and...

He tosses his stone contracts on top of the parchment

ones with a THUD.

FRED:

... we raise them.

Wilma and Betty look at each other, then at the contracts.

They blink, look again.

WILMA:

Betty... these... these look...

real -

(CONTINUED)

39.

76 CONTINUED:
76

Fred opens the champagne, which foams all over them. The

girls squeal.

FRED:

You bet they're real, sweetheart.

They're as real as... as... well,

as real as -

(embracing the group)

--the best darn friends and

neighbors in the whole world.

Barney squeezes back.

BARNEY:

Yeah. And nothing's ever gonna

change that... right, Fred?

FRED:

(emotionally)

Right, pal o'mine.

As they laugh and the girls slowly absorb the truth,

we -

CUT TO:

77 EXT. WATER BUFFALO LODGE -NIGHT 77

A sign proclaims this as "GRAND BEDROCK LODGE --LOYAL

ORDER OF WATER BUFFALO." The parking lot outside is full

of vehicles. We hear the sound of a GAVEL BANGING...

HERDMASTER (V.O.)

Attention, fellow Water Buffaloes...

78 INT. WATER BUFFALO LODGE -NIGHT 78

The members are milling about the main room, schmoozing,

drinking, kibitzing. All wear the furry and horned

ceremonial Fez of the Buffalo.

One wall of the lodge displays a big version of the lodge

coat of arms (with the motto "Ackus Ackus Adackus" below);

a trophy case holds a mind boggling display of various

bowling trophies, balls and pins. At the lectern, the

HERDMASTER (a mustachioed, inspirational type) bangs

again for order.

HERDMASTER:

Brothers, your attention!

It quiets a bit. He clears his throat, raises his chin,

and gives a strange mournful bellow.

(CONTINUED)

40.

78 CONTINUED:
78

HERDMASTER:

("ritual" type tone)

The herd is now called to the

prairie.

(holding fingers

above ears)

Antlers... up!

The entire Lodge dutifully imitates this gesture.

ENTIRE GROUP:

Ack-ack-a-dack!

HERDMASTER:

(banging gavel)

This meeting of the Water

Buffaloes is now in session.

Sergeant-at-Arms, have we got any

old business?

Barney stands, acknowledges his friends and Lodge

brothers.

BARNEY:

Indeed we do, Brother Herdmaster.

Tonight we are to hear speeches

from prospective candidates for

Lodge offices, such as good old

Fred and some other guys.

79 PILTDOWN 79

Seated across the room with Pyrite and other cronies, he

immediately leaps to his feet, paws the ground, and gives

an eerie moan even stranger than the Herdmaster's earlier

call to order.

80 BACK TO SCENE 80

After the CRY ECHOES away:

HERDMASTER:

Brother Piltdown: You have given

the Cry of the Gelded Buffalo at

the Poisoned Water Hole. Do you

wish to file an objection?

PILTDOWN:

You bet I do. How come Flintstone

is 'good old Fred' and me and the

other candidates are just 'some

other guys'?

PYRITE:

Yeah, how come?

(CONTINUED)

41.

80 CONTINUED:
80

BARNEY:

(rising)

My apologies, Brother Piltdown.

Allow me to rephrase. Tonight we

will hear speeches from a whole

bunch of good old guys...

(pause)

... plus the one and only Fred

Flintstone!

Cheers go up, which drown out Piltdown's renewed cry of

the poisoned water hole. Fred moves towards the podium

as the noise dies down.

81 NEW ANGLE 81

Barney moves to the wall, where he pulls a rolled up

tapestry from a hiding place behind a plant. He tacks it

to the wall, yanks a string. It unrolls. It's a big

"VOTE FOR FRED FLINTSTONE" poster.

Barney turns, gives Fred a "thumbs up," and as he does,

Barney's hand brushes against a folded parchment in his

pocket. Barney pushes his way through the seats, catches

up to Fred and hands him the document. Fred takes it,

continues up to the podium. There, the Herdmaster hands

Fred the ceremonial hoof and antler, crossed over each

other like a Pharaoh's badges of office.

Fred does a Papal-like wave with these, sets them down,

and unrolls the crib notes Barney gave him.

FRED:

(reading, at first

wooden, then

confident)

Brother Buffaloes, honored

Herdmaster, Junior Bucks and

Apprentice Antlers, a great good

evening to you all. Ahem. As you

know, our organization has survived

difficult times that have seen the

extinction of such other lodges as

the Order of Whooping Cranes and

Brotherhood of Giant Sloths. But

we here have come through the croo

... the crux...

BARNEY:

(hissing)

--crucible -

(CONTINUED)

42.

81 CONTINUED:
81

FRED:

(grateful)

--crucible with our fur fluffy

and our hooves unscathed. Now,

the future holds many promises and

many problems. As your next

Herdmaster, I would bring to you

the same determination, courage

and --if I may say so --bold

thinking that I have brought to

the workplace. Thank you, and

ack ack a-dack.

Applause follows Fred's return to the floor.

82 PILTDOWN AND PYRITE 82

The only ones in their row not clapping, they scowl as

Fred passes them...

CUT TO:

83 INT. LODGE -RECREATION AREA -LATER 83

WIDEN as Barney propels a bowling ball (stone, of course)

rumbling down the alley, sending pins flying. The

Buffaloes cheer Barney's strike. We notice that most (if

not all) of these Lodge members also work at the quarry.

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