The Flintstones Page #9

84 AUTOMATIC PIN SPOTTER 84

It descends. It consists of a bent snout creature which

"cranks" down a shelf with several monkeys on it. The

monkeys grab the pins with their tails, straighten them

up. Then the shelf cranks back up.

85 OTHER END OF ALLEY 85

Now it's Fred's turn. He trots up to the line, bowls...

another strike! More cheers, AD LIB complaints, etc.

The scorekeeper picks up hammer and chisel and fills out

the last frame.

LODGE MEMBER:

Congratulations, Fred.

FRED:

Hey, when you're hot you're hot...

boys, lemme buy a round of drinks

for everyone.

BARNEY:

Thanks, Fred, but here at the

lodge drinks are free.

(CONTINUED)

43.

85 CONTINUED:
85

FRED:

But the principle is the same,

Barn. Don't forget that.

Fred leads the group over to the bar. Piltdown and

Pyrite come along with a shrug... why not, for a brew?

Fred reaches -

86 UNDER THE COUNTER 86

where he pulls out a hook-beaked little LIZARD -

87 BACK TO SCENE 87

Fred uses this creature to open several beers.

FRED:

(during this)

Here you go, boys, nice and

frosty...

"BOTTLE OPENER" CREATURE (LIZARD)

(aside)

Go ahead, laugh. If I had a good

orthodontist, my life woulda been

different...

Fred tosses the "Opener" aside -

88 UNDER THE COUNTER 88

The critter bounces into the shelf, slides... when it recovers,

it realizes that its overbite has been straightened

out by the impact. Very happy, it grabs a hat and coat,

exits.

89 BACK TO SCENE 89

FRED:

(raising drink)

Well, here's to...

He looks around, sees -

90 "PHOTO" ON WALL 90

It's actually "dots" chipped into a stone. It shows the

young Fred, Barney and others gathered around soapbox

racers. A banner reads "Junior Buffalo Day."

44.

91 BACK TO SCENE 91

FRED:

Here's to the greatest bunch of

lifelong Buffaloes a guy could

dream of leading.

(an obvious prompt)

Anybody else got a toast...?

BARNEY:

'Here's to the Water Buffalo and

their next Herdmaster... Fred'!

FRED:

Aw, gee, Barn... you shouldn't say

that...

(winking)

... at least not till after next

week's election!

LODGE MEMBER:

Fred, what was all that stuff in

your speech about the workplace?

I thought the only decision you

made there was how many lunches to

eat -

Laughter. Fred accepts it good-naturedly, reaches into

his pocket.

FRED:

Well, Harry, it just so happens

that old Fred is moving up in the

world... Boys, you're looking at

Mr. Slate's new partner.

PILTDOWN:

You and Slate? Who are you

kidding, Flintstone? The only

partner you got is hanging over

your belt.

Pyrite laughs, a bit too much.

FRED:

Prepare to eat those words,

Piltdown.

PILTDOWN:

--If I don't, you will -

FRED:

(a tight smile)

Gentlemen, my card -

He passes them out, and the others take them, curious -

45.

92 INSERT -CARD 92

Of course it's a little stone tablet... but it does

indeed say "SLATE CONSTRUCTION --F. FLINTSTONE,

ASSISTANT JR. V.P. --PUBLIC RELATIONS."

93 BACK TO SCENE 93

LODGE MEMBERS:

(AD LIB, impressed)

Hey, way ta go, Fred... Whoa,

gonna switch from a hard hat to

a top hat, Freddy boy...?

PYRITE:

(examining the card)

Ah, it's probably a phony...

Saying this, he bites down on it... winces as a tooth

cracks.

94 BARNEY 94

tugs Fred's sleeve, pulls him close.

BARNEY:

Gee, Fred, how come I didn't get

any business cards?

FRED:

Barney, it's all part of the plan.

(to the others)

Yes, boys, you see, I went up to

my pal, Mister Slate and singlehandedly

made him an offer he

couldn't refuse -(

Barney reacts to the "single-handedly" --)

FRED:

--'Freddy boy,' he sez to me,

'We gotta talk turkey --'

BARNEY:

Fred, we gotta talk turkey -FRED

That's right --just like that -Fred

--!

BARNEY:

Fred realizes Barney's got something on his mind.

FRED:

Ah, excuse us, boys...

46.

95 NEW ANGLE 95

Fred pulls Barney into a quiet corridor. They stand near

a trophy case. There's some bowling trophies here with

a variety of names on them. (There's also trophies for

"pie-eating contests" and "beer drinking chug-offs";

these have only Fred's name on them.)

BARNEY:

Fred... what's this single-handed

stuff? I distinctly remember at

least four hands and two of them

were mine.

FRED:

(lowered voice)

Barney, we could tell everyone how

you invented this Fibrerock stuff,

how Slate and Lava found out about

it by accident and all, but what

would that be?

BARNEY:

The truth?

FRED:

This is big business, Barney. We

can't start telling the truth,

it'd create the wrong impression.

Think about all the really big

deals in history --back to the

beginning of recorded time.

Barney knits his brow in thought for maybe three seconds.

BARNEY:

Okay.

FRED:

What do they all have in common?

(as Barney is

stumped)

I'll tell you. A front man. A

guy who's out in the public eye

running the point, fighting the

crowds... and meanwhile... back

in the corner is the silent

partner.

BARNEY:

I never knew that.

FRED:

That's because the silent partner

is always silent.

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

47.

95 CONTINUED:
95

FRED (CONT'D)

But while you're busy being

silent -(

conspiratorially)

--all along you're the brains

behind the operation and I'm the

brains in front of the operation.

I'm out here running the guts of

the operation but you got a cut.

It looks like my mind, but you're

really behind.

BARNEY:

I get it. I got the brains, but

you just pretend to have them.

Attaboy!

FRED:

And a confident Fred shakes hands with an unsure "silent

partner"...

CUT TO:

96 EXT. FLINTSTONE/RUBBLE HOUSES -DAY 96

Barney comes out of his front door, heads toward the

neighboring driveway and Fred's car. Betty comes out,

calls to her husband.

BETTY:

Barney, wait a minute...

97 CLOSER 97

He stops, turns. Betty comes over and we see he's wearing

a sports jacket and an abysmally-tied tie. Betty

fixes the knot.

BETTY:

There. That looks more like a

captain of industry.

BARNEY:

Thanks, Betty. What would I do

without you?

BETTY:

Hmm. Probably run off to the

tropics with one of those

executive secretaries.

(CONTINUED)

48.

97 CONTINUED:
97

BARNEY:

Come on, Betty, it's only my

first day. You have to have

seniority to run off...

She giggles, kisses him.

98 FRED 98

is at the car door, lunch pail in hand, when Wilma calls

out to him.

WILMA:

Fred! Wait a minute! There's

something wrong with your lunch -FRED

("weighing it")

Yeah... it does feel a little

light...

He returns to her, opens the pail, is surprised to find

it's empty. Before he can comment, she smilingly

presents him with a spanking new briefcase. "F.F" is

embossed on it in gold.

WILMA:

Fit for a king... my king.

FRED:

Aw, Wilma... lookit, it's got

buckles, a strap, a lock -He

opens it. Inside is a huge drumstick and some ribs.

FRED:

--Baby, you're the greatest.

WILMA:

(kissing him)

Good luck.

(pause)

Watch out for those... you know...

hostile takeovers.

FRED:

I'm already taken.

He moves to the car.

FRED:

Ah, Mister Rubble, I presume?

Of the Fibrerock Rubbles?

(CONTINUED)

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