The Fundamentals of Caring

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Caregiving is not just

about feeding and clothing and cleaning.

It is also about understanding

how to navigate

a complicated relationship

between those who give care

and those who are in need of it.

If you find yourself lost,

frustrated, confused,

you can always come back

to this helpful mnemonic device:

ALOHA.

Ask, Listen, Observe, Help, Ask again.

The fundamentals of caregiving

are to give care...

but not care too much.

If you truly want a lasting career

in caregiving,

you'll need to adhere

to the caregiver commandments.

Writ these down. They're important.

I cannot take care of another

unless I first take care of myself.

Ben. Ben, come on.

I know you're in there.

My needs are equal to the needs

of the person to whom I am giving care.

Caregiving is difficult.

All I can do is try my best

and maintain a positive attitude.

Congratulations,

you're a certified caregiver.

Just always remember:

ALOHA.

Ask, Listen, Observe, Help, Ask again.

Nothing less. Nothing more.

You must be Mr. Benjamin.

- Elsa Conklin.

- Hi.

I was transferred to the States

about nine months ago,

and we've yet to find

a permanent caregiver for Trevor.

The transition's been difficult,

to say the least.

The flight over was the first time

he'd ever been on a plane and...

Well, let's just say,

he's never really been one to relish

being outside of his house,

let alone 30,000 feet in the air,

or here in another country.

So, tell me,

why'd you choose to be a caregiver?

I like helping people.

Do you have clients at the moment?

This would be full-time.

No.

Can you tell me about

some of your previous clients?

Trevor would be my first client.

Oh... I'd asked them

to only send people with experience.

Oh, um...

No, I have the certificate.

I took the... It's a six-week course.

Yeah, I've taken it. It's all right.

It's just that I specified that we...

Hello. I'm sorry. You know, I'm so sorry.

Did I do something wrong?

I put on aftershave this morning.

That's something I don't normally do.

Is he sensitive to smells?

Trevor, that's enough.

Pick a number between one and 3,500.

Wha...? Huh?

It's a game. Pick a number.

- Three.

- Nope.

Two thousand, four hundred and sixty-four.

Sorry, no job.

Trevor, this is Ben. Do you have

any actual questions for him?

What kind of aftershave are you wearing?

- Trevor.

- What?

This guy thinks retarded people get upset

by aftershave. That's brilliant.

How does that work, exactly?

Is it, like, "Oh, no. The smell.

I don't understand where it's coming from.

Please, somebody help."

You're not retarded.

And don't use that word.

People worse off than you, you know?

That's true. Like retarded people

that are forced to wear aftershave.

Sorry. My child has a unique sense

of humor.

Do you have kids?

No. I know I don't have any experience,

but I took the course

and I'll work very hard. I...

I've been out of work for a while

and I could really use this job.

Yeah, but if we're gonna

throw down nine bucks an hour

for somebody to wipe my ass, we need

somebody who knows how to wipe an ass.

Tell me, Ben, given the opportunity,

how exactly would you wipe my ass?

You're being rude.

I think it's a reasonable interview

question, given the scope of the job.

True or false?

This man has to wipe my ass.

I'd wipe it in such a way

that when I was done,

there would be no sh*t left on your ass.

He's the one.

- Hey.

- Hi.

Did you bring them?

Ben, did you bring the divorce papers?

Oh, you know what? Uh, I never got them.

I know you got them.

I shoved them under your door.

Right, I got your message about that.

That's weird. I don't...

Here's a new set. Here's a pen.

All right, well, I'll take these home

and, uh, I'll read them.

Why are you doing this to me?

Do I have to get a court order? I mean,

is that really what you want me to do?

I'm not ready, Janet.

It's been two-and-a-half years.

What's the magic number where you wake up

and you're finally ready?

Six years? Eight? Eighty?

I'm sorry.

I'm just not ready.

Hello. Come in.

- Hi.

- I'll take you on the tour.

What do you know about DMD?

Um...

Uh...

Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.

When you get home tonight, google it.

- Yes, I...

- I work as the office manager in a bank.

It's a big bank,

but I work in a small branch,

which means if I'm late, they notice.

I have to leave here at 8:40,

which means you have to be here at 8:40.

You're late, I'm late. I can't be late.

No one else to pay the bills.

Every day we stretch his hamstrings,

heel cords, IT-bands, hip flexors,

and forearms on the bed.

I'll demonstrate that for you.

He sleeps most nights with

the C-pap machine to help his breathing.

Trevor's extremely tied to his routine.

It cannot be disrupted.

If it's disrupted,

he'll have a panic attack.

He wakes at the same time every day,

he watches TV at the same time every day.

He eats at the same time every day.

Once a week,

he goes to the park on Thursdays.

Always on Thursdays.

Always from 1 to 4. Exactly 1 to 4.

He only eats waffles and sausage.

Two waffles, one sausage.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Not ideal, but it's a battle I'm done

fighting and the vitamins fill in the gap.

Hey. Check her out.

Oldest working family farms

in Jerome, Idaho...

Would you tap that? Because I would

pound that sh*t into the ground.

His medications are also

on a precise schedule.

It's all in this notebook.

Prescription meds,

Deflazacort, Losartan, Eplerenone.

Those you absolutely can't miss.

Then the supplements,

Protandim, Haelan, omega fatty acids,

calcium, vitamin D, Co Q10,

creatine, glutamine, Quercetin,

multi-vitamin, and mega green tea.

Why don't you read the notebook

and we'll talk more thoroughly later.

Statistically, Trevor probably

has another seven to ten years.

So, let's do everything right, okay?

- I need to hear you say "okay."

- Yes. Okay. Absolutely.

Trevor, it's his first day.

Please don't make him cry.

- You need anything?

- I do, actually.

Could you call

the Make-A-Wish Foundation

and tell them I want a blowj*b

from Katy Perry?

I mean, she kind of has to say yes, right?

Think about it.

If she was to reject me,

that would a PR nightmare for her.

It'd be a sh*t storm.

What do we have here?

A two-story outhouse.

Aha. Here we go. Idaho Falls, Idaho.

Two-story outhouse.

I'm no expert. I definitely think

I'd prefer to be on the upper level.

- He apparently...

- What is this gem, you ask?

This is a map of your precious country's

lamest roadside attractions,

odd museums, bizarre landmarks,

and of course anything giant,

- from farm animals to cherry pie.

- What's the red star?

That, my friend, is

the world's deepest pit. My favorite.

It just sounds so depressing, I love it.

Pick a number between one and 3,500.

Go on, Ben. We've got

some time to kill. One and 3,500.

- Three.

- One-5-5-5. You're not even trying.

But I have some fantastic news,

I need to take a dump.

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