The Gamers: Dorkness Rising

Turn!

Nodwick.

Stay here until we return!

Aye, my Lord

Mort Kemnon!

Uninvited guests...

Your reign of terror ends here!

By the light of Therin you shall fall!

What good is the light of your goddess?

She can not help you...

...here.

No...

We're...

...doomed.

Fastidian!

This does not end here!

Yes it does...for you.

Craaaaap!!

Was there a reason you didn't turn those ghouls?

Since that would've helped us...not die?

Guys...

Maybe you should have detected the trap, Cass. Green Mouse would be proud.

That was an AMBUSH, not a TRAP.

Even you should know the difference.

Oh by the way...way to defend the cleric there, Conan.

You lived..oh what...six seconds?

Real smart giving them clear path to the healer.

Look! Guys...

I didn't see you helping!

In fact, I saw you dying like a whiny little peasant!

Maybe I was dying...

...because our battle-dealer wasn't doing his job!

How am I supposed to kill everything in the room when I get flanked?

You are supposed to keep people of my ass

And you are supposed to keep healing me!

Which brings me to my lack of powers which I didn't have after I lost them!

Did I mention losing my powers?

GUYS!

And if he hadn't cut you off we totally would have had him

Yeah....I didn't even know it was possible cutting of a cleric of his god.

It's not....not in the core rules it isn't

It does fit the story!

It doesn't fit the rules!

Story trums rules!

Again with this argument...

Boss...we're down to our last copy of "Pizza Tattoo"

And of course I can't expect you

to know where we keep our products seeing as how you work for me

Argue on!!

What would you rather have?

A fantasy world with its own mysteries and pitfalls

...or...just another cookie cutter setting with no real surprises?

You should have told us that in your world the cleric could be cut off of his god!

Why should I told you that?

Gary... would you have played a cleric if you've known it's allowed to shut him down?

Hell no!

That's player knowledge, not character knowledge!

You know but your character wouldn't

That is so cheap! Cheap cheap cheap!

It is not cool to let a character advance that far and pull something that huge on him!

It was supposed to be a nasty surprise!

Something you weren't expecting

And because it was so unexpected the party died!

This is what happend when you mess with the rules!

What were you thinking?

Maybe....that it would force you to ROLE-PLAY!

What do you think we were doing??

Guys... come on!

Same time next week?

I'm good!

The new expansion for "Samurai Baseball" comes out next friday

Looks very cool....you strike out you commit sapaku

No...we play this very game..

The same campaign?

We played it twice already?

You guys wanna do my campaign again?

No.

I have a reputation? There is no game on this shelves that can beat me!

So what kind of gamer would I be if I let some unpublished mod give the best of us?

Thanks, Cass. That's real...thoughful.

Hey, Gwen...

Hey, Mitch...

Diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick?

God...I don't know why that keeps happening?

Listen! We need two more players!

Dude.. I've got work in the morning!

No! Dick! For your campaign.

It's why we keep dying. We need a more well-rounded party.

Listen...it's only so much damaged three mad hombres can do, right?

Oh Cesar...didn't see that one coming did you?

Are you guys still gaming?

We're playing TimeValentin.

We need to go back through time and beat the crap out of historical figures

I totally bushwhacked Abraham Lincoln.

Don't you have class in the morning?

Yeah. In like five hours? Why?

Take that Jesus!

Hey I gotta go...it's almost my turn

Take that Jesus!

Hey I gotta go...it's almost my turn

Who is the messiah now?

I'm never going to finish this freaking module!

Party died again?

They never try anything new and then they blame me when they die

Ungrateful munchkins!

I'm really kind of pissed off!

And that has nothing to do with your writers block?

I do not have writers block!

I know exactly how the story ends.

I just don't know how to get there.

Obviously neither do your players.

How am I supposed to finish a modules based on a adventure

...if we never finish the adventure?

Just run them through until they win...or your heads explodes.

We're gonna start all over again once we have a few new players

Mark.

Mark, why don't you join?

You used to game all the time in College!

I haven't gamed since the "incident"

Total party wipeout?

Like you couldn't even imagine.

Hey Cass.

Lodge.

Mark, I haven't seen you in a long time.

It's like I forgot you even exist.

Yeah...I get that a lot.

Ah... found one of the newbies!

Oh, do I know him?

Her.

Joanna keeps bugging me to get he involved..

..so I figured we make her a fighter. It's easy enough to play.

Joanna? Your ex Joanna?

She will be joining us?

Yes...finally!

What's wrong, Lodge?

Never played with a girl before?

See you scrubs tomorrow

Apparently we're leaving..

See you at Leo's...

..I'll try not to slow things down to much

Ohh... ehh... wait

Here. Player's Handbook. It's got all the rules. Everything you need to know.

Thanks, Kevin. I'll look it over

Who the hell is Kevin?

I am Kevin.

You have a first name?

Alright...what have you got?

Half-breed

Kicking down the door..

Hey...alright that's everybody

Where is player number five?

There is no fifth player.

You said you're gonna get us another player, Lodge.

I asked 15 people..

..all regulars. Apparently we have a reputation!

What did I tell you? You make one eleven year old cry and they stop bugging you.

We still need another player!

I have taken care of it

Now...this is a mid-level campaign so we're starting at ninth level.

Here's Joanna's character.

What are you doing?

I made a character for you.

I wanna play my own character.

I know...that's why I made you one.

You think I can't make my own character?

Look...it's nothing personal.

You are going to be a fighter; there are some requirements you have to meet.

Like what?

A fighter has to be the strongest guy in the party.

Has to have a high armor class..

...and hitpoints out of the ass.

And that is what I made for you.

Let me see that!

Bikini mail?

Mmm...

What the hell is bikini mail?

Only the best armor you're allowed to wear.

There's a picture of it right here.

That looks like a ......

She fights with a broadsword?

"broad" sword

I get it. Kevin help me out here.

Kevin?

Wait..., your name is Kevin?

You have a first name?

Guys, if Joanna made a character she's gets to play it.

I agree with you on principle.. Kevin...

But she is new and I don't want her to die because she is inexperienced.

What makes you think that I'm gonna die?

History.

New guy always dies.

That is so true...

Hey you remember that one time those halfling pirates made him...

Shut up

Or the time that those gnome shopkeepers ambushed...

Shut up!

Or that asthmathic six year old princess...

SHUT UP!!

I flipped through that handbook....I got the jist of it...it doesn't seem that hard.

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