The Gamers Page #3

You hike for 3 more days...

...and eventually follow a trail into the

foothills of Connadure. As you exit the hills...

... the land stopes down before you.

There on the plain below you, you see

the broken ruins of a once great castle.

sitting solemnly

in the shadows.

The Princess must

be in that castle.

Onward, our journey

is nearing its end.

You see a young man

standing in the ruins.

He's dressed in flowing wizards robes

and has an air of mystery around him.

Dude, is this

your new character?

Yeah.

Guys, please! I want

you to roleplay this.

Remember you've never met this guy before,

the last guys you met tried to kill you.

and you're standing in the

ruins of an evil, cursed castle.

Just act appropriately.

Hello. I'm Magellan, a traveling mage.

I notice your group has no wizard.

You seem trustworthy. Would

you care to join us in our noble quest?

Yes. Yes, I would.

Broken stones and petrified wood

litter the ground outside the castle.

You follow the remains of what

was once a major road to the ruins

nly to find a set of massive

irom bars blocking the entrance.

Ok. I rip them

out of the way.

What's your strength?

19. That's a 95%

chance of success.

Roll 'em.

Oh! Ooo!

I don't believe this

Here why don't 'I have

Newmoon give it a try?

What's your Strength?

six

Ok

Roll it.

Lift with the legs,

Rogar, not the back.

It's very dark. Ambrose...

It's Magellan.

Whatever,

is it safe?

We shall see.

Ok. I'll use my staff

of evil detection.

Well, is it safe?

It most assurendly is not.

A dark narrow passage snakes off into the fortress.

There's a sputtering torch every 20 yards or so,

but they aren't giving off enough

light to push the darkness.

Nimble takes point.

The air gets warmer and harder to

breath the farther you go into the ruins.

After a few turns, you come

to a large door. It's locked.

I pick the lock.

Do I see anything odd in the next hall?

Nope.

I walk down the hall.

Did I say walk down the hall?

I meant sneak down the hall.

So why didn't you

say sneak before?

I shouldn't have to. I'm a thief.

I sneak every where I go.

No you don't. You don't sneak around in

broad daylight, you don't sneak around in church.

No, but I do sneak

around in a danger zone.

Yeah, but you didn't know there was a trap in the room

so you didn't know it was a danger zone. Did you?

Look. A thief of my level wouldn't

walk blindly into a possibly trapped room.

Like you did.

I wouldn't have

if you'd just...

Fine. Fine.

We'll do it again.

Did I say sneak down the hall?

Yes, you did.

Well, as a master thief, of course I

would know when to be weary of such traps.

Uh huh. And what would a

master thief do in such a situation?

Easy. I crawl down the hall an

inch at a time lookong for traps.

Whatever.

Damn it. Who's got

the most hit points?

Rogar.

Of course.

Well you do it then.

Ok.

Rogar takes 35

points of damage.

Oh no! I've got 85 points left!

Ohhh, Ohhh, Oohhhhh! (Crowd applause)

You follow the hall into a vast new room

in the middle of which you see a stone throne.

Seated upon the throne is a figure

who strikes terror into your hearts.

He's dressed in midnight blacks and blues,

and his cloak billows around his form-fitting armor.

His face is masked, but his body

moves with deadly grace and precision.

His name rises from your nightmares.

He is known as...

The Shadow!

The Shadow?

The Shadow.

I' ve been waiting, waiting for you

to come to me, and now I have you.

You, who have caused me

so much trouble in the past.

Rogar, Newmoon,

Nimble, Ambrose...

Magellan!

Magellan, sorry...

and Mark.

You've beaten my bandits, you've bested

my traps, but to rescue the princess,

you must defeat me.

Now come, come and

let us finish this game.

Oh dear...

I'm going to prepare a spell.

Which one?

Polymorph other.

Dude, that spell takes a ton of time to prepare.

The Shadow's going to waste us before you're done.

Well, then give

me a distraction.

Send Mark after him.

That's good!

Yeah, have Mark attack him

OK:

Dude. Don't forget

his battle cry...

Blood, death,

and vengance.

And now for

the rest of you.

Great, Mark's going

to be pissed.

How's that spell coming?

I need more time.

The Shadow steps towards

you to engage you in combat.

Call shot to the nuts!

What?

Combat rules state that

the crotch is a vital area.

If you hit an opponent in a vital area,

he's stunned for one round.

Call shot to the nuts.

You will pay for

your insolence.

Oh, that hurt!

Alright guys. I've got my spell ready.

Da me he fermentum

What the hell did

you turn him into?

An ogre.

Why? Those things

are dangerous!

Sword of Ogre

Decapitation.

You've done it!

You've killed the shadow!

We came, we saw,

we kicked his nuts!

Ahd wait, uh, what

about the Princess?

Is she not int the room?

No.

Maybe there's a

door somewhere?

I look around for a secret door.

Good call.

Well, you see a secret trap door behind the Shadow's

throne. It leads down into another dark corridor.

We're not done yet, guys.

There might be harder stuff further along.

What, harder than The Shadow?

I doubt it.

Let's just keep going.

The new corridor comes to an abrupt end,

blocked by a door that feads farther underground

A soft light is shining

underneath it.

Can we hear

anything inside?

You hear muffied voices. You make out

at least 2, but there could be more.

Pick the lock, thief.

Shhhh... did you guys

hear something?

No, I didn't. Did you?

No, I guess not.

Nimble, you hear

3 more voices.

There are at

least 5 of them.

We must take this door.

It is the only passage.

What vile demons lie

beyond this door?

We'll see in a moment.

Ready yourselves.

Nimble picks the lock while the

rest of you prepare for battle.

Whoever's inside keeps talking.

You don't think you've been heard.

We're keeping it down, damn it!

Shut the hell up out there!

You hear an angry shout.

We've been heard.

We've lost the element of surprise.

They know we're here!

Kill em. Kick the door

in and kill them all!

Where's the princess?

Forget the princess, who

are these strange sorcerers?

Amazing! My entire life

is written here!

My intelligence is 4!

Outrageous!

Give me that pen!

God damn it! I have tried to be nice,

but you guys are so un-f***ing-believably noisy!

Some of us have lives

and have to study.

If you don't shut up, I'm going

to call campus-f***ing-safety!

The Princess!

We've found her!

Leave me out of your

sick-ass fantasy, weirdo.

Nice ears, loser.

F***ing gamers.

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes