The Gay Divorcee Page #6

You see, she encouraged me

from my very first step.

- Very first step?

- Yes.

Dance step. I'm a dancer by profession.

You knew that, of course.

Do you mind?

Why, no. No, I'm glad.

I'm glad.

You know, you're the most emotionally

unstable girl I've ever met.

Scusi, lady. I am fate to take

foolish chances with.

Tonetti?

Tonetti.

I cannot find the lady.

I give everywhere the passwords,

and everywhere I get the slaps.

Well, I don't under... Oh, by Jove.

I forgot to tell you the lady's name.

It's Mrs. Green. She's in room 216.

And listen, no more prowling around

this hotel like a hyena.

And be sure the lady doesn't leave

her room before morning.

Tonetti, he stays, do and die,

until the detective, she arrive.

That's right,

and when the detectives get...

Oh, my word,

I forgot all about the detectives.

Detectives or no detectives,

Tonetti, he gets paid. Tonetti, I am here.

Well, I'll rush up to London.

I'll bring the detectives

first thing in the morning.

Oh, dear.

- Egbert.

- Detectives... What?

- Where were you going?

- Why? I'm... No. I was just thinking...

- Looking for you.

- Yes, I've been looking for you.

I have something

important to tell you.

Not now. I've gotta rush to London.

No, but I must tell you now.

Yes. Well, what is it?

What is it? What is it?

Well, that's just it.

I can't remember what it is.

Egbert, you're so tempestuous.

You drive everything

right out of my head.

I'm sorry, but I can't wait.

- Well, then I'll go to London with you.

- What?

And maybe it will come back to me

by the time we get there.

Besides, you mustn't ride alone at night.

I'll bet you say that

to every man you marry.

- Oh, Egbert.

- Oh, well, come along, dear. Come along.

Aren't the shadows on the sand lovely?

Yes, they are. Lovely.

And the light on the water.

The edge of the cloud

crossing the moon.

Look, it's coming out.

Look, Guy, it's coming out.

It came out.

Oh, isn't it beautiful?

It's a honey.

I wonder what causes

that peculiar effect.

That's what I'm trying to figure out.

Mimi, who is that man

that just went into your room?

- Man?

- I saw a weird-Iooking individual go in there.

How many men

did you invite here tonight?

Mimi, are you married?

- What?

- Is it your husband?

- Husband?

- Yes, husb...

- Oh, scusi, please, scusi.

- What are you doing here?

Chances are that fate is foolish.

Will you please stay here just a minute?

- It's no one.

- No one?

Mimi, who is it? What's he doing here?

Well, he's here on business.

Business?

- Let's look at the moon.

- Not until I throw him out.

No, no, no. You mustn't. Oh, you can't.

Well, then please tell me who he is.

Well, he...

- I am married.

- You, married?

To a geologist.

Oh, then it is your husband.

Oh, no, no.

You see, I'm not really married.

That is, I won't be very long.

I'm getting a divorce right away...

...and he's here to help me get it.

Wait a minute.

Mimi, are you the women whose divorce

Egbert Fitzgerald is handling?

And you thought

I was your corespondent?

Oh, but now how could you

possibly think a thing like that?

Well, you said the right words.

What right words?

Oh, scusi, please, scusi.

Fate is the foolish thing. Take a chance.

Are you the corespondent?

Rudolfo Tonetti, at your service.

- You are no longer needed.

- What?

I am taking your place.

Are you a union man?

Are you hired by Mr. Egbert too?

Oh, Mr. Tonetti, you don't understand.

This gentleman isn't to take your place.

He isn't going to stay.

- Then you need me.

- Nothing of the kind. You're intruding.

- Get out of here.

- But, Guy...

Think I'm gonna leave you with an Italian?

He might be a tenor.

Listen.

I was wrong.

- I'm gonna throw him out.

- Oh, but, Guy.

But I have a contract

and I sue for damages.

First for my ear, second for my honor...

...and third...

- Quiet, please, both of you.

This is my affair. I'm here for a divorce,

and Mr. Tonetti must stay.

Well, if he stays, I stay.

I feel crowded, but that's life.

At last my call, she come.

Scusi, please. I answer.

Hello? Oh, hello, hello, Maria.

Six times I call you and you are busy.

Gives always:

Yes, the busy signal.

Yes, yes, I'm all right.

No, blond.

Just a blond.

Scusi, signora, but I talk to the wife.

She want to know all about the lady.

Yes.

Yes, kiss the kiddies for me.

What?

What? Maria.

Maria, who is that speaking to you?

What?

What do you think?

My little son Rodolfo only 9 years old

and already his voice is changing.

Good night, sweetheart.

You stay, you do not stay.

Tonetti does not care.

But no monkey business.

And the lady must not leave the room

while Tonetti is on the case.

You mean we're prisoners?

You don't think I'm going

to take the lady away?

- I will see that you do not.

- That's awfully nice of you.

Oh, scusi, maybe you like to play

some three-handed bridge?

- No, thank you.

- No?

Not a bit.

All right, then I go inside

and play some solitaire.

And please remember not to leave.

I watch.

- Guy, I don't wanna drag you into this.

- But I wanna be in it. And from now on.

You know, I don't think it's gonna be

so bad being kept prisoner here.

Hello, hello.

That doesn't sound

like the prisoners' song to me.

That's not a bad tune.

- What is it?

- It's the newest thing here.

- It's called the Continental.

- The Continental?

I like it.

That's the second thing I've found

I'd like to take back home with me.

Do you know the words?

It's beautiful music

Dangerous rhythm

It's something daring

The Continental

A way of dancing

That's really ultra new

It's very subtle

The Continental

Because it does

What you want it to do

It has a passion

The Continental

An invitation

To moonlight and romance

It's quite the fashion

The Continental

Because you tell of your love

While you dance

Your lips whisper so tenderly

Her eyes answer your song

Two bodies swaying

The Continental

And you are saying

Just what you're dreaming of

So keep on dancing

The Continental

For it's a song of romance

And of love

You kiss

While you're dancing

That's not a bad idea.

It's Continental

It's Continental

You sing

While you're dancing

Your voice is gentle

And sentimental

You stroll together

Arm in arm

You nonchalantly glide along

With grace and charm

You will find

While you're dancing

That there's a rhythm

In your heart and soul

A certain rhythm

That you can't control

And you will do the Continental

All the time

Oh, can't we go down there

and join the fun?

But what if our jailer should catch us?

I forgot all about "scusi, please."

What is it?

An idea, an idea.

Is this one of those?

I think I know how we can get out of here

without our friend Tonetti missing us.

This is something

I used to do as a boy.

- I don't care what you did as a boy.

- "What you did as a boy." I know.

This might work, though.

Look, you've got me

cutting out paper dolls.

Oh, I see.

Well, I'll go change.

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