The Ghost and Mrs. Muir Page #2

very silly of me, Mr. Coombe...

but I've decided to take

Gull Cottage after all.

I mean, if everyone rushes off

at the slightest sound...

of course the house

gets a bad name.

But it's too ridiculous, really...

in the 2Oth century,

to believe in apparitions

and all that

medieval nonsense.

But you heard him laugh.

I heard what might

have been a laugh.

It might have been the wind

roaring down the chimney.

If I may so say, Mrs. Muir,

fiddlesticks.

I want Gull Cottage.

In my opinion, you are the most

obstinate young woman I have ever met.

Thank you, Mr. Coombe.

I've always wanted

to be considered obstinate.

Very well, Mrs. Muir...

on the understanding

that I disclaim all responsibility

of what may happen...

you shall have

Gull Cottage.

Don't you dare come in.

Bringing your muddy feet

through my nice clean kitchen.

Landlubber.

Uh, there.

Nothing like soap and water

to make everything shipshape

in Bristol fashion.

Yes.

What did you say, Martha?

Why, I said--

What did I say?

Shipshape in Bristol fashion.

I've never heard you use

that expression before.

Huh. Must have been

the sea air.

Come along, Mrs. Muir.

I'll have that iron,

if you please.

But I've nearly finished.

You've done enough

hard work for today.

Besides, you know,

you're supposed not to be--

If you're going to start

telling me I'm not strong...

I'll pack you off back to London

on the first train.

Dear old London,

how I miss it.

Now come along,

upstairs to your room

and a bit of shut-eye

before tea.

I feel so useless.

Here I am nearly

halfway through life...

and what have I done?

I know what I done,

all right.

Cooked enough steaks

to choke an hippopotamus

and kept the name of Huggins

as fair as the day I found it.

You've led

a very useful life, Martha.

I have nothing to show

for all my years.

I suppose you call

Miss Anna nothing.

Oh, heavens.

I can't take any credit for her.

She just happened.

Yes.

That's what my old mum

always used to say.

I was the 1 1 th.

Oh.

Hurt yourself?

Here, let's have a look.

Oh, it's nothing,

just a scrape.

But I am tired. I think

I will take a little rest.

Begging your pardon,

Your Highness.

There.

This will keep you

nice and warm.

Thanks, Martha,

you're an angel.

Ha! Ain't noticed any wings

sproutin' lately.

I'll call you in plenty

of time for tea.

Oh, it's you.

I crept up, not

wanting to wake you

in case you

was still asleep.

Tea's all ready.

Miss Anna will have it all

cleared off in no time

if you don't hurry.

I've got a nice bit

of fresh fish for you, too.

Martha, I had

such a curious dream.

Did I close the window

before I went to sleep?

You did, and scraped your finger.

Don't you remember?

It's shut now, ain't it?

Yes.

It's shut now.

Sleep tight.

Good night, Mummy.

I love the sea, and so does Rummy.

And so do I.

I put hot water bottles

on the kitchen table, ma'am...

and the kettle's

on the stove.

Oh, thank you, Martha.

Good night, ma'am.

Good night.

Should I leave this on, ma'am?

No. This will do nicely.

I know you're here.

I say, I know you're here.

What's wrong?

Are you afraid to speak up?

Is that all you're good for,

to frighten women?

Well, I'm not afraid of you.

Whoever heard

of a cowardly ghost?

Now if the demonstration is over...

I'll thank you not to interfere

while I boil some water

for my hot water bottle.

Light the candle.

Go ahead, light it.

How can I when you keep

blowing out the match?

Light the blasted candle!

Well?

You'll--You'll forgive me

if I take a moment

to get accustomed to you.

You're Captain Gregg.

Aye.

I'm sorry I called you names...

coward and so forth.

I didn't really believe in you,

or I wouldn't have.

It must have been

embarrassing to you.

Why?

Why, I mean because

of the way you died.

The way I died, madam?

I mean because

you committed suicide.

What made you think

I committed suicide?

Mr. Coombe said--

Coombe's a fool.

They're all fools.

I went to sleep

in front of that confounded

gas heater in my bedroom...

and I must have kicked the gas on

with my foot in my sleep.

It was a stormy night like this

with half a gale blowing from

the south-southwest

into my windows...

so I shut them as

any sensible man would.

Wouldn't you?

Yes, I suppose so.

Then the coroner's jury

brought in a suicide

because me blasted

charwoman testified

I always slept

with me windows open.

How the devil should

she know how I slept?

Oh, I'm so glad.

Do you have a strange

sense of humor, madam?

I mean because you

didn't commit suicide...

but if you didn't,

why do you haunt?

Because I have plans

for me house

which don't include

a pack of strangers barging in

and making themselves at home.

Then you were trying

to frighten me away.

You call that trying?

I'd barely started.

No, that was enough

for all the others.

They didn't want any part of it,

let me tell you.

Didn't even stop

to weigh anchor.

They just cut their

cables and ran.

I think it's very mean

of you frightening people...

childish, too.

In your case,

I'm prepared to admit

I charted the course

with regret.

You're not a bad-looking

woman, you know...

especially

when you're asleep.

So you were in my room

this afternoon.

My room, madam.

I thought I'd dreamed it.

Did you open the window

to frighten me?

I opened the window because

I didn't want another accident

with the blasted gas.

Women are such fools.

You, of all people,

should not have brought that up.

I wouldn't call that remark

in the best of taste.

Well, I'm sure it

was very kind of you...

but I am quite capable

of taking care of myself.

Now, if you don't mind.

Well, what's the matter now?

I just wanted to see

if you were really there.

Of course I'm really here...

and I'll still be here when

you've packed up and gone.

But I'm not going.

The house suits me perfectly.

My dear woman,

it's not your house.

It is as long as I pay rent.

Pay rent to me blasted cousin!

He's the legal owner.

Legal owner be hanged!

It's my house...

and I want it turned into

a home for retired seamen.

Then you should have

said so in your will.

I didn't leave a will.

Why not?

I didn't expect to kick

the blasted gas on with me foot!

I won't be shouted at.

Everyone shouts at me

and orders me about...

and I'm sick of it,

do you hear?

Blast! Blast! Blast!

Temper. Ha ha!

Or laughed at, either.

I won't leave this house.

You can't make me

leave it. I won't!

Here, belay that.

Stop it now,

do you hear me?

If there's one thing I can't stand,

it's a woman crying.

Stop it!

Blast it all, madam.

I love this house.

I thought I must stay here

the moment I saw it.

I can't explain it.

It was as if the house itself

were welcoming me...

asking me to rescue it

from being so empty.

You can't understand that,

can you?

I suppose you think

I'm just a silly woman...

but that's the way I feel.

Well, there might be

some truth in it at that.

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