The Ghost and Mrs. Muir Page #3

I felt that way

about a ship once...

my first command.

Found her rusting

in the Mersey...

gear all foul

and a pigsty below.

Always swore she sailed

twice as sweetly for me

as she would

for any other master

out of gratitude.

Well, you love the house.

That counts for you.

And you've got spunk.

You didn't frighten like the others.

That counts for you, too.

You may stay...

on trial.

Oh, thank you.

Keep your distance,

madam.

I'm sorry.

You made me so happy.

No intention

of making you happy.

I merely want to do

what's best for the house.

Then we're agreed,

and you'll go right away

and leave us alone.

I will not go right away.

Why should I?

Because of Anna,

my little girl.

I don't want her

frightened into fits.

I never frighten

little girls into fits.

Think of the bad language

she'd learn and the morals.

Confound it, madam,

my language is most controlled...

and as for me morals...

I lived a man's life,

and I'm not ashamed of it.

I can assure you

no woman's ever been the

worse for knowing me...

and I'd like to know how many

mealy-mouthed bluenoses

can say the same.

She's much too young

to see ghosts.

Very well. I'll make

a bargain with you.

Leave me bedroom as it is...

and I'll promise not to go

into any other room in the house.

And your brat need never

know anything about me.

But if you keep the best bedroom,

where should I sleep?

In the best bedroom.

But...

In heaven's name,

madam, why not?

Why, bless my soul,

I'm a spirit.

I have no body. I haven't

had one for four years...

is that clear?

But I can see you.

All you see is an illusion.

It's like a blasted

lantern slide.

Well, it's not very convincing...

but I suppose it's all right.

Then it's settled.

I'm probably making a mistake.

I always was a fool

for a helpless woman.

I'm not helpless.

If you're so confoundedly

competent...

you'll notice your kettle's

about to boil over.

Oh, so it is.

Oh, one thing more.

I want me painting

hung in the bedroom...

the one that's

in the living room.

Must I?

It's a very poor painting.

It's my painting.

I didn't invite your criticism.

I make that

part of the bargain.

I want you to put it there now,

tonight. Good night.

Good night.

I mean, it doesn't

do you justice and--

You might at least have

turned the light back on

before you left.

Such nonsense.

My dear, never

let anyone tell you

to be ashamed

of your figure.!

There!

That's the last of them.

Never held

with mourning meself.

I always say life's

black enough as it is

without dressing in it, too.

Cheer up, Martha.

Life isn't as bad as that.

Who said it was?

Good afternoon.

What have you done with

me monkey puzzle tree?

I expect it's chopped

for firewood by now.

Hang it all, madam!

I planted that tree

with me own two hands.

Why?

Because I wanted

a monkey puzzle tree in me garden!

Think how much prettier

a bed of roses will look there.

I hate roses!

I hope the whole blasted bed

dies of blight!

I wish you wouldn't swear.

It's so ugly.

If you think that's ugly...

it's a good thing you

can't read me thoughts.

You seem to be very

earthly for a spirit.

And you, madam, are enough

to make a saint take to blasphemy!

Blasted women!

Always make trouble

when you allow one aboard.

Captain Gregg,

if you insist on haunting me...

you might at least be

more agreeable about it.

Why should I be agreeable?

Well, as long as we're living--

I mean, if we're to be

thrown together so much...

life's too short to be forever

barking at each other.

Your life

may be short, madam.

I have an unlimited time

at my disposal.

There you go

arguing again.

Try to say something

pleasant for a change.

Ah, that's a--that's

a pretty rig you have on.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Much better than

smothering yourself

in all that ugly

black crepe.

I happen to have been wearing

mourning for my husband.

Whom you didn't love.

How dare you say that!

Because it's true.

You were fond of him perhaps...

but you didn't love him.

I suppose you're jealous

because no one

put on mourning for you.

That shows how little

you know about it.

Some poor, misguided

female no doubt.

Three poor, misguided

females to be exact.

I should--I should think

you'd be ashamed of it

instead of boasting

about it.

Why? They

misguided themselves.

I never raised

a finger to help them.

That's not what I've heard

about sailors.

Seamen, confound it!

Sailor is a landlubber's word.

Why did you marry him?

Edwin?

I don't really know.

He was an architect.

He came down

to plan an addition

to my father's library.

I was only 1 7.

I remember I'd--

I'd just finished a novel

in which the heroine was

kissed in the rose garden

and lived happily ever after.

So when Edwin kissed me

in the orchard--

But it was different

after you left the orchard.

He didn't beat you, did he?

Oh, no!

Poor Edwin.

He never did anything.

I'm afraid he wasn't even

a very good architect.

He couldn't have designed

a house like this.

Who did?

I did.

It reminds me of something--

An old song, or--or a poem.

""Magic casements,

opening on the foam

of perilous seas,

in faery lands forlorn.''

That's Keats, isn't it?

The nightingale.

Strange to find a sea captain

quoting Keats.

Oh, life's slow at sea.

Plenty of time for reading

in the off watches.

How romantic.

Reading lyric poetry

up in the crow's-nest

with the sheets

bellying in the wind.

Sails, blast it all, madam!

A sheet's a line, a rope.

Ropes can't belly.

I don't know anything

about the sea

except that it is romantic.

That's what

all landsmen think.

Seamen know better.

Then why do they

go to sea?

Because they haven't

the sense to stay ashore.

Heaven help

the ordinary seaman.

Were you ever one?

For several years,

while I learnt me trade.

It's hard to imagine you

being an ordinary anything.

You got callers.

Oh, dear!

Whatever can they want?

Who is it?

My blasted in-laws!

But she's resting, ma'am.

Then we'll go up.

Quick! Hide or--or go away

or decompose.

Dematerialize, madam.

Whatever it is,

do it quickly.

No fear.

They can't see me or hear me

unless I choose

that they should.

Oh, then please don't choose.

I'll get rid of them.

Why don't you let me?

I've had plenty of practice.

Say the word,

and I'll keelhaul them.

No. You're not to do anything!

Well, Lucy.

Talking to herself.

Oh, my poor Lucy.

You look so pale.

Well!

What an ugly room!

Oh, it isn't really.

Whatever do you want

with that telescope?

I--I like to look at the stars.

You never liked

to look at the stars

when you lived with us.

Sit down, Mother.

And what a hideous painting.

Anyone with a face

like yours, madam...

should steer clear of

expressing such opinions.

Why on earth don't you

take it down?

Because I like it, Eva.

I'm--I'm very fond of it,

really I am.

Ha ha ha! Liar.

Of course.

If you want a portrait

of a strange man

in your room...

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