The Gift Page #4

Well, no, but technically

I would be at home to

look after guests if you

had to go somewhere.

He hasn't got anyone, a wife or...

Honey, don't defend him.

Or whatever.

I'll tell you why he

doesn't have a wife.

He'd like to be married to you.

He'd like you to be his wife.

- Oh, God, Simon.

- Yep.

Come on, honey. This guy likes you so much.

Tell me you don't see it.

Come on. I really don't think

that is the reason why.

Come on, honey.

Why all the drop

in's and the stop by's

only when you're home alone?

Look at this thing.

Good Lord.

I think you're

slightly exaggerating.

I think he's

obsessed with you, honey.

I think he wants to nail you.

I think he wants to be me,

- wants to move into the house...

- Stop it.

He wants to play mommies

and daddies with you,

the creepy little f***er.

Simon, don't be crass.

I'm Gordo the Weirdo.

And I want to make crazy,

weird love to you,

with my creepy,

with my creepy little

pee-pee pleasey-weasy.

- Put it away.

- I'm Gordo the Weirdo

- and I want you all to myself.

- I don't like it. No.

- Can I have you?

- No.

- Can I have you, please? Why not?

- No, no! Please!

- Why not?

- Because you're disgusting.

He is disgusting.

Disgusting and weird.

Let's just check this place out.

Come on. Come on.

Okay.

Simon?

Simon, he could come back any second.

What are you doing?

He's not married, huh?

Maybe it's just his spring stuff.

Look, I think we should go

back downstairs

before he comes back.

What have we got down here?

Simon?

- You hear that?

- What is it?

Ugh, monkeys.

He's a dad?

Hmm.

Sh*t, sh*t. Sh*t, sh*t.

Wait, wait! Simon!

- Drink some of your drink.

- What?

- Hey.

- Hi.

Everything okay?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Yeah?

That was, yeah,

I'm sorry about that.

Yeah, what was that? That was...

Yeah, what happened?

Don't worry about it.

Hey, what is it that you do?

I mean, the reason that you left.

The work thing.

I don't think I've

ever asked you that.

What is it that you...

What do you actually do?

What do you do to

afford all of this?

Simon.

Are you not curious?

I'm afraid that

you've caught me in a lie.

A lie?

I wasn't dealing

with a work thing.

I was out speaking to my ex-wife,

who recently left me.

Actually, a couple of days before

I saw you at the Homeware store.

And we have a couple of beautiful children,

and she's taken both of them.

And I don't really mention it because

it makes me very upset

and I don't really know

what's going to happen.

And obviously

I really want to make it work

and I don't really

know what the chances are.

And, technically,

this is her home,

her family home,

so it's their money.

And at the moment,

she holds all the cards

so when she says jump,

I have to...

Jump.

Jump. Um...

Which is why I went out there

to speak to her on the phone,

because I didn't want you both

to hear the conversation

which gets a little heated.

And just listening to me speak,

I feel very embarrassed right now.

I'm sorry.

Well, don't be embarrassed.

It's really okay.

Well, I lied to you.

Listen, hey, why don't we,

why don't we eat?

- Well, I...

- Yes, sure.

Actually why don't... I think you

and I should have a little talk.

Honey, can you give us

a couple of minutes, please?

Here.

Can you just go wait

out in the car for me, please?

Just give me like five minutes,

I'll be right out.

- Then we're going to go home, okay?

- Okay.

I'm so sorry.

- This is...

- Is everything okay because...

Yeah. Hang on one second.

So this is a very, very...

There's no easy way to say this.

Well, I mean, just say whatever...

Don't interrupt me,

because I gotta power right through it

and then you can talk

right afterwards, okay?

Okay.

I think that we would prefer

that you don't visit us anymore.

You know, you

should take some time

with this thing that

you just told us about.

That's heavy stuff,

you know? This is...

Honey?

Please, can you just give

us a couple of minutes?

- Okay.

- Thank you.

Two minutes.

Okay, I did it.

Sometimes you just gotta

rip off the Band-Aid, right?

Come on.

Is this guy playing games?

Oh, come on.

Should I...

Open the goddamn gate.

Okay, Simon.

Wait here.

Simon, hold on, maybe he'll...

Si.

- You okay?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Pardon me, one second.

Honey, is everything all right?

I'm right in the middle of a...

Are you serious?

Don't touch them,

and don't touch the water.

Jangles is gone.

I've been looking.

I can't find him anywhere.

That son of a b*tch.

Son of a b*tch. All right,

I'll be right back.

- Hi.

- Hi.

I need to speak to Gordo.

- I think you have the wrong house.

- No, no.

I got the right place.

I just need to speak to him, please.

- Speak to who?

- Gordo. Your husband.

Gordon.

Get him down here.

My husband's name is Mike.

Mike?

Okay.

I got that, yeah.

Okay.

The dog's tag says Mr. Bojangles?

Like the song?

- Yeah.

- But he responds to Jangles.

Hmm.

So they knew him.

Well, the husband did, Mr. Ryan.

He has a fleet of

limousines and cars

for an executive transport service

business type thing or what not,

and he leased a car to Mr. Mosley.

Now Mr. Ryan says that Mr. Mosley

actually had access to his garage

so that he could pick up

and return a Cadillac,

which is probably how he

gained access to the main house,

and why he knew the Ryans

were on vacation in Cancn.

But I assume he won't be

working as a driver anymore.

They could press more

serious charges if they wanted.

Um, the dog is what

I'm concerned with.

Yeah, it really could just be that

it's a new neighborhood for him

- and we did leave the gate open.

- No. No.

Who killed the fish then, honey?

He took the dog, I think.

Pretty sure he took the dog.

Well, you know, that's a tricky one

because I can go there and see him,

but that's not the problem.

You know where he lives?

We can find that out.

But the problem is,

I just can't go there

and look inside

without a warrant.

And to get a warrant,

I need proof of some kind,

- which neither of us have.

- Well...

Which just leaves me

with that awkward task

of paying him a visit and asking,

"Did you take the dog?"

and asking him did he take

the dog means that,

well, he's going

to know who sent me.

Hello?

Well, I mean, if you think

he's a threat or whatever,

I'm happy to go over

there and take a look.

No. No, really.

It's nothing.

Do you think he would

actually do this though?

I mean, take your dog?

I really don't want to

believe that he would.

But who knows?

Like I said,

it's probably all in my head.

I mean, I have been

having trouble sleeping.

Thank you,

but I don't want to impose.

- I should go.

- Hey. Don't be silly.

It's fine.

You're not imposing.

You're a welcome

distraction, honestly.

Have some coffee and

I'll check on her. I'll be back.

- Thank you.

- Sure.

Can I use your bathroom?

Hey? Simon?

Hey.

Hey.

Hey.

I think it's him.

I think he's messing with us.

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