The Girl Next Door Page #4

-Danielle, Danielle.|-Hugo, hi.

Look at you.|You look fantastic.

Just starting out,|and everyone knows your name.

No, they don't.

-So how's Kelly treating you?|-Okay.

Just okay?

Danielle, what do we know?

What do we know? We know|that you should be with me.

At the top.|Where the air is crisp.

-Nice tan.|-Kelly.

-What do we say?|-F*** you.

Always with the big words.

Danielle,|where the air is crisp.

-What does that mean?|-Nothing. He's just being Hugo.

Matty. What are you doing here?

Look, Kelly, no offense, but I|really don't think Danielle...

...wants to be here right now.

Matthew, please just go home,|okay?

Hey, D.

I'm sorry, man. Come on.|Let's get out of here.

What's up?

It's not cute anymore.

-What?|-Stop filling her head with that--

-Do not piss me off.|-Hey, I thought we were friends.

Friends don't f***|with each other's business.

And that's what this is,|my f***ing business.

What?

What are you gonna do?

Yeah, that's what I thought.|Stay the f*** away from her.

Matt, seriously, man,|it's 2:00 in the morning.

What about your thing tomorrow?|Okay, the scholarship dinner?

Sorry, I gotta do this.

Oh, by the way, if things get|bad, just bolt, okay?

What? What do you mean,|"if things get bad"?

Just bolt.

Wait, what's he|talking about?

You wanna get me a drink?|No, I'm just kidding.

Hi.

Dude...

...am I ugly?

What? No. No, man,|you're fine. Just relax.

No, I'm ugly. I know it.

-So, what do you guys do?|-I get freaky.

-We're directors.|-Really?

Would you guys ever wanna|use me in one of your movies?

Hell, yeah, we'll use you.

Baby, I'll do things to you|I wouldn't do to a farm animal.

-What the f*** did you just say?|-Honey. These guys are directors.

-And they wanna use me.|-Use you?

Guys, this is my boyfriend,|Mule.

Hi, Mule.

Let's do it.

Man, you gotta use my girl, bro.|She's so good.

I am. I really am.

-You wanna give her a throw?|-Yeah, try me out.

No, you know, no, I'm okay,|though, thank you.

Well, come on.|At least feel her tits.

I'm okay. I can't.|Thank you, though.

F*** it. I'll feel one.

We're all set for tomorrow.

Athena will be there,|ready to shoot. Right, babe?

Not bad, huh?|Suckers cost me 6 grand.

Yo, Mule, what the hell|are you doing?

Steel, check it out, man.|These guys are directors.

Man, these punks ain't|directors.

They're in high school,|you idiot.

Okay, here's the thing--

Oh, sh*t!

-Come on, Klitz, come on.|-Get off.

Matty, time to go, time to go.|Time to go.

-What happened?|-It got bad. Bolt. Bolt!

-Dude, wait up.|-F*** you, dude!

Excuse me.

I just wanna let you know,|I know who you really are.

And you're better than this.

IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY DREAM....

Yeah?

Need a ride to school?

It's all you now. I mean,|now you can do whatever you want.

Why do you believe|in me so much?

I don't know. Maybe I'm stupid.

-Good luck tonight.|-Thanks.

-Bye.|-Bye.

Will you go to prom with me?

What?

I would love to.

Now for the scientific|explanation. Anybody?

JOHN F. KENNEDY once said:|ASK NOT....

That's your speech?

Yeah.

You ready for tonight?

Hey, don't worry, man.|You're gonna be great.

I have to be.

That b*tch can't just|run away because...

...she don't wanna f***|on film anymore.

May I help you?

-Get up.|-Okay, okay.

Stay in school.

Look, I have the most important|dinner of my life tonight...

...so wherever we're going,|you know...

...we just have to be|home by 6.

Just so you know.

Here he comes.

-It's a cool ride, huh?|-Yeah, if you're a fag.

-Jesus!|-It's cool, it's cool.

Get in.

-Where are we going?|-I thought you were cool, man.

I tried to be your friend,|and what do you do?

-You f*** me.|-I didn't f*** you.

She didn't show up on set|because of what you said.

Now I'm out 30 grand.

-Guess who's paying me back.|-What? I don't have 30 grand.

-Get your folks to help.|-They don't have that kind of money.

Look, Kelly, I'm a problem solver,|all right? This is what I do. Okay?

Let's just-- Let's just think|outside of the box here.

Look, she'll get a job,|I'll keep mowing...

...lawns, and over time|we'll pay it down.

You know? This can work.|We can do this.

It'll be like a payment plan.

-You really care about her, huh?|-Yeah, I really do.

Yeah, I don't know. If I'm gonna|do this payment-plan thing...

...I need a show of good faith,|you know?

-Something concrete.|-Well, like what?

A blowj*b.

No. I told you she's not gonna|do that anymore.

Who said anything about her?

Yeah, we're definitely|outside the box now, huh?

Now, you gotta ask yourself,|how far are you willing to go?

How much do you|really care about her?

I'm joking, man.

Relax.

-Damn. Do I look gay to you?|-No, but, Jesus--

You wanna be president?

Let me tell you the first|rule of politics:

Always know if the juice|is worth the squeeze.

You know what that means?|It means you don't steal my girl...

...unless you're ready|to accept the consequences.

All right, I'm sorry, okay?

That's gonna swell up like|a b*tch. Here, take this.

I'm telling you,|it's gonna hurt like sh*t.

I'm sorry I got upset.|I felt taken advantage of.

Look, I'm not gonna be a dick.|I know she loves you.

I'm gonna leave you guys alone.

But now you're doing|something for me.

Remember that ass-bag, Hugo,|from the convention?

We used to be partners|a long time ago.

One day, I had this killer|idea to make films set...

...in real-life situations.

You know, Real World porn.

I told the idea to Hugo.|He says he'll think about it.

And what does|that motherf***er do?

Takes my best girl, starts|his own company with my idea...

...and the guy makes millions.

It's not the money|that pisses me off.

I mean, f***,|it does piss me off...

...but that's not it.|It's the perception.

Everybody thinks Hugo's|the genius. It was my idea.

It's like he's Simon,|and I'm Garfunkel.

Look at me, man.|I'm f***ing Garfunkel.

-Look, seriously, I can't do this.|-Don't be a p*ssy. Nobody's home.

-Why do you want this thing so bad?|-Because it should've been mine.

-I'll grab it and leave.|-You don't understand...

...l have to be at|a dinner in an hour.

My whole life depends on it.

You want me out|of Danielle's life?

Yes, I do.

-Then let's go.|-But wait, seriously.

Sometimes, if you wanna do|something good...

...you gotta do|something bad.

Yeah, but this is breaking|and entering.

This is politics.

Hey.

After this, we're cool, okay?

You're all right, man.

Yes.

I'd like to report a robbery.

AVN BEST PICTURE 1999|"CHITTY CHITTY GANG BANG"

HUGO POSH PRODUCER

Bang me.

Cradle the balls.

Stop! Stop! Help me!

Help! Oh, f***!

Wait!

Come on!

Okay, so what time|does the dinner start?

Six o'clock.

-Why? What time is it now?|-6:30.

-Oh, my God.|-Dude, don't worry, all right?

We'll get there.|You know what? Try and--

-Dude, what are you doing?|-I don't know. I just...

...feel so good.

Oh, my God.

I just feel so weird.

Don't worry.|Ecstasy is not that bad.

-What?|-Kelly likes dosing people with E.

Oh, my God. Am I gonna die?

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