The Gnome-Mobile Page #3

(music)Find where she is

in the gnome-mobile

(music) Oh, the gnome-mobile

is a grand machine (music)

(music) The like of which

I have never seen (music)

(music) But you're going too fast

you big doo-deen (music)

(music) When I look where I'm going

that's where I've been

(music) In the gnome-mobile

The gnome-mobile (music)

(music) We're hunting for gnomes

in the gnome-mobile (music)

(music) Sooner or later

we feel that we'll (music)

(music) Find where they roam

in the gnome-mobile (music)

(music) In the gnome-mobile

The gnome-mobile (music)

(music) We're hunting for gnomes

in the gnome-mobile (music)

(music) Sooner or later

we feel that we'll (music)

(music) Find where they roam

in the gnome-mobile (music)

(music) [Whistles]

Well, I must say,

Jasper was right for once

- You doo-deens are different

- Thanks, Grandpa

You don't have to keep calling me

Grandpa The name's Knobby

Knobby, just call me D.J.

Everyone does

D.J. Don't come much shorter than that

[Laughing]

Grandfather, where do we start

this gnome-hunting?

Well, I figure the most likely place

would be a virgin forest

Now, I happen to know of a 50,000-acre

patch of timber

that's never been touched by...

by doo-deens

- Is it very far?

- [D. J] Oh, we can't make it tonight

We'll have to stop over somewhere

But we'll make it easy in the morning

Jasper, what happened

to all the other gnomes?

Well, I was, uh, too little

to remember much about it

But I've heard it said that

they migrated, a lot of em

'Tweren't that at all

Well, what about all the fern seeds

failing' and the food getting' scarce?

- Why, I heard that...

- I don't care what you "heard"

I'm telling' you I was there

It was the chopping' down of the trees

that made the gnomes disappear

I remember it

like it was yesterday

Everything was

so pleasant and peaceful

Everybody minding'

their own business

Then all of a sudden, "Timber!"

Trees started

a- coming down, a-falling'.

And a-crashing' like giants,

they came down

It was "timber" on the right

and "timber" on the left

And the gnomes

a- panicking' and a-running'

and a-falling' down and

a- bumping' into each other

And coming' right behind 'em

all the time was the big axes

a- slashing' and a-cutting'

and, "Timber!"

Grandpa, I remember the...

You remember nothing'

You weren't no bigger'n that

I grabbed you in my arms

and started to run

And right behind me

I hear, "Timber!"

And I looked back

over my shoulder

and here come one of those giants

falling' right at me

- How did you escape?

- I didn't It landed right on me

Did it kill you?

No I ducked down

a rabbit hole

But I was under that there tree

for 40 days and 40 nights

And when I finally

dug myself out

there were dead trees everywhere

and nary a gnome in sight

- How awful

- Oh, the carnage

And them infernal axe swingers

They wouldn't give up

They kept a-coming' and a-coming'

And the worst of em all

was that Mulroney outfit

- Mulroney?

- But, Grandfather...

Shh! Don't interrupt

while he's talking

I never seen the blackguard

himself face-to-face

but I see them henchmen

of his often enough

a- slashing and a-cutting'

and a-destroying'.

"Mulroneys Marauders,"

we called 'em

Now, just a minute

It so happens

that my grandfather is...

In complete accord

with you, Knobby

Any vandal who cuts down trees

indiscriminately ought to be...

Well, he ought to be

taken out and horsewhipped

Yes, sir

Thoroughly horsewhipped

Well, here we are Everything secure

in the gnome department?

Oh, please get down, Knobby

You don't want

the other doo-deens to see you

Packing' us in here like we was

a couple of sandwiches

And me, at my age

I'll take this Thanks

Hey, you! You can't park

that thing there

I won't be staying long,

my good man

The name is Quaxton of

Quaxton's Academy of Fantastic Freaks

Brilliant show

Don't miss it

(music) [Rock On Radio]

Hello, sport

Well, you look like

an intelligent patron of the arts

Here

Accept these free tickets

with my compliments

A rare opportunity to enlarge

the experience and broaden the mind

Two bedrooms and a sitting room

in one of the cottages?

Oh, you are the lucky one, sir

There's one left

Oh! [Screams]

I'm very sorry, sir, but dogs

are not allowed in the hotel

- But they're not dogs -

They're geese - [Knobby] Geese?

Shh Grandpa, Grandpa, shh

- [Muffled Yells]

- And very well trained too

I'm very sorry, sir, but the rule

is unbreakable No pets of any kind

Who said anything about pets?

These geese happen to be

investments Business investments

Royal Abyssinian geese

And very rare

You do not seem

to understand, sir

This hotel does not permit

any animals of any kind whatsoever...

[Gasps]

Oh, Mr. Mulroney

- Oh, I am so...

- [Knobby] Mulroney!

- The marauder himself We've been trapped

- Shh

Let me out of here!

[Screaming]

Grandpa, be quiet

[Muffled Screams]

(music) [Loud Music]

Here Show Mr. Mulroney

to his room

[Yelling Continues]

A little action, please

Quick, quick, quick

You unlock this thing

Let me out of here

Pardon me, sir Are those voices

coming from there?

Correct A peculiar trait

of Abyssinian geese

They make sounds

just like people

[Knobby]

You hear me? Answer me

(music) [Continues]

[Knobby Shouting]

That's fine Thank you

Thank you Set it down

- Thank you, sir

- That's all right

Whew!

All right, Rodney

You can turn off the music now

We've been trapped Let me out of here

Let me out Let me out

Grandpa, be quiet

- You conniving', double-dealing' doo-deen

- Now, Grandpa, settle yourself down

How can I settle myself down

when I find myself traveling' in

the very company of me own worst enemy?

Knobby, that is not so

Unscrupulous, lying' prevaricator

Getting' us to leave our Redwood

sanctuary under false pretenses

Oh, but he's a scheming' one

- He did it for you

- We'd rather be in Seattle

Oh, don't give me none your druthers,

you... you Mulroney-in-the-making'

[D. J] All right, Knobby

Enough of this yelling now

You want to arouse

the whole neighborhood?

Grandpa, even saying'

what you're sayings true...

Of course it's true

Are you insinuating your

own grandfather's a liar?

No, Grandpa I'm only asking you to give

Mr. Mulroney a chance to explain

I am not listening to nothing more

that one's got to say

Mulroney

Lying', cheating', scheming'...

Knobby Knobby

Calm down now and listen a minute

I'm only trying to help

Ah, no, you don't, Mulroney

I fell for that line afore

Now, I'm a little different

from a lot of other lumbermen

You can say that again

You're the worst

- You want to find gnomes, don't you?

- Not with you, I don't

Knobby, supposing, just

for the sake of argument

that everything you say

about me is true?

- Ah, then you admit it

- I do not admit anything

I'm only saying that even if

it were true, that's all in the past

Yesterday Let's talk about tomorrow

[Knobby]

Whose tomorrow? Yours?

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