The Gnome-Mobile Page #4

No Yours, you rock-headed

little mule, and Jasper's

Now, we're doing everything

we can to help you

And I told you I don't want nothing'

to do with no help from you

Grandpa, please, just try to hear

Mr. Mulroney out Try to trust him

I rather trust a predatory vulture

with a hungry eye

and an empty belly

All right, Knobby, I've had it

I've tried everything

even humbled myself in the hope

that you'd see the light

And hope is all you've got left, you

stubborn old donkey This is the end

Tomorrow morning, first light of day,

we're going back to the Redwoods

And we're going to drop you off

and be free of you

And from that moment on, as far as

I'm concerned, you never even existed

And that goes for me too

[Elizabeth]

But, Grandfather...

Now, I'm going to get the car serviced, and

I don't want to waste a minute tomorrow

- Can I come with you?

- Yes, come on

Without a doubt, the most

exasperating, ornery gnome I ever met

Then do we go right on

to Seattle, Grandfather?

And the yacht

And the sooner the better, son

- Where's the nearest service station?

- Turn right

two blocks, at the corner

of Elm and Grange

Thank you

[Man On TV]

Here in nature's kingdom

dwell the regal giants

of the forest

the great sequoias,

monarchs of all they survey

Pictures, Grandpa,

from right out in the air

Well, take a look

It'll make you feel better

I am not going to feel better

till I get out of here

Older than written history itself,

they tower above their surroundings

Look It's the Redwoods

Yet, in man's scheme of things,

these great trees have practical use

as well as aesthetic value

Well, what do you know?

My Redwoods

From these forests,

selected trees are taken

And when the lumberjack's cry

of "timber" echoes through the woods...

[Grandpa Yelling]

The bloody black hearted

blackguard doo-deens!

- [Grandpa Yelling]

- Timber! And another giant comes down

to serve the needs of mankind

- Settle down, Grandpa

- [Click]

Shh Now, calm yourself

[Ringing]

Hello Yes

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you,

miss, but there's been an accident

A bad accident

Oh, no Not grandfather

I'm afraid so It's your

grandfather's Rolls-Royce

Is he hurt?

- Well, he can't talk to you right now

- But where is he?

- Where did it happen?

- At the corner of Elm and Grange

And he wants you

to come right away

I'll be right there

- They don't make 'em like this anymore

- You're right there, sir

These new jobs are all right

on the highway

but you take a car like this,

it's built to go places

Yes, sir That'll be 620, sir

Out of 10

Keep the change It's nice to talk

to a man who appreciates cars

- Yes, sir Thank you, sir

- [Tires Screech]

- Grandfather, you're all right!

- Of course we're all right

They said there'd been an accident,

that you and Rodney were hurt

- Who told you?

- Someone on the telephone

In the car, quickly

Watch out, sir!

Yeah All right

Thank you

Only what I expected

Nobody in the hotel saw anything

Why don't you call the police?

No, not the police Tell the police,

and the papers would be full of it

That's just what we promised

Knobby wouldn't happen

This is a job

for my own security staff

I can trust my own team,

and that's just what we need now

Operator, would you get me

person-to-person San Francisco,

Mr. Ralph Yarby?

- How am I doing, Doc?

- Sound as a dollar

- [Woman] Mulroney Medical

- I only hope D.J. checks out as well

- If I can ever get him up here

- Oh, yes He's here

Mr. Yarby, it's for you

D.J.'s on the line

D.J.?

D.J., where are you? We've been

trying to reach you for...

Ralph, they're gone Missing

- Gone? Not...

- That's right

- Kidnapped

- Well, have you notified the police yet?

Ralph-boy, they're the last ones

in the world I want to call now

Good thinking, D.J.

The press get a hold of this

and the kidnappers get scared

and the children have had it

Who said anything about children?

Now, listen, Ralph

this is going to be hard for someone like you

to accept, but you've got to believe me

- Do you understand?

- Well, I always understand, D.J.

Well, it's the gnomes

who have been kidnapped

The gnomes

Uh, D.J., something seems to have

gone wrong with the phone

Would you mind

repeating that last?

Can you hear me now?

You're coming through clear now

I said a pair of gnomes

Little people

Now, there's not

a minute to lose

I want you to put our security people

on this right away And I mean right now!

Security

Uh, right now Right away

And remember, nobody's to know about

this besides our own people

or there's no telling

what might happen

You couldn't be more right, D.J.

Look Where are you right now?

Cedar Creek Lodge

Right I'll fly up there

and meet you there tonight

All right Good-bye

Get me security

This isn't a case for security

What D.J. needs now

is a psychiatrist

- You think he's lost his marbles?

- I'll get in touch with Conrad Ramsey

He's got a place not far from there

An old estate he's turned

into a private sanitarium

D.J. will never sit still

for a psychiatrist

Suppose he thinks he's meeting

a private detective?

An expert with a great organization

for handling cases such as this

Well, yes

Yes, I think that might work

[Barking]

I still wish you'd brought a couple

of our own security men along

Our men are good, D.J.

but as you just said, this is a special

case, and it needs a special man

But this Ramsey guy, has he handled

cases like this before?

One after another

Funny I never heard of him

Good evening, gentlemen

Welcome to Five Oaks

Thanks

Quite a place you've got here

You know, this Ramsey

must do all right

This layout makes Brinks and Pinkerton

look like a couple of pikers

In all honesty, D.J., you can't even

put them in the same category

Now, don't say

it can't be done

Yarby tells me that you often work

on cases like mine

- Oh, yes, Mr. Mulroney All the time

- Locating lost gnomes?

Well, gnomes, no

But we have uncovered

some strange things in our time

- Very well, then

- Now, getting back to the little men

You say you first saw them

in the Redwoods?

That's right We took them

as far as Cedar Creek with us

And that's where

they were kidnapped

- Where they disappeared, you mean

- I said they were kidnapped

- and I mean kidnapped!

- Yes, yes, yes

Now, during the trip, did anybody else see

them besides you and your grandchildren?

Someone else had to see them, of course,

or how would they have gotten kidnapped?

Well, that's a good question

Yes, and that's one that you have

to find the answer to

Everything

you've said thus far

leads me to believe

that you did see gnomes

Of course I saw them!

What do you think I'm doing here?

But not with these eyes

With those up here

That is where all the little people,

the gnomes, the gremlins

or whatever you like

to call them live

[Buzzing]

Ralph, this guy thinks I'm nuts

- Now, D.J., just calm...

- I say he thinks I'm nuts!

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