The God of Cookery

Sir, you're born with fairy bones,

your eyes show holy light.

You're a fairy descended on Earth,

I've found you at last.

Don't go away.

Though I'm revealing Heaven's secret

and will suffer,

it's just my destiny.

Even if it is more risky,

I have to tell your whole fortune.

Sir...

An Assorted Noodle, please.

Since the noodle hasn't been rinsed in

cold water, so it tastes alkaline.

and the Fish Balls are tasteless too.

You cook them as Curry Fish Ball

in order to cover this drawback.

But it's naive for you to do all this.

As the woking time was not long enough.

the curry favor only stays outside,

the soup washes the taste away.

The Curry Fish Ball

now becomes tasteless,

neither fish nor curry.

What a failure!

You haven't selected the turnip properly,

too much fiber, failure.

The pig skin is overcooked, failure.

The pig blood is too soft,

a failure too.

This pig colon is the worst.

It's not properly washed,

you can find sh*t inside, how come?

Hey, sh*t!

Hey, sh*t, hey.

Hey, sh*t.

Just rub it away.

How about I promote that:

we can find sh*t in your food?

Nothing special.

This is Assorted Noodle!

$23.

You give me?

You'd better give me $30

for me to see a doctor.

Please respect me,

at least I'm "God of Cookery"

"God of Cookery"?

"God of Cookery".

You're born with fairy bones,

your eyes show holy light.

You're a fairy descended on Earth,

I've found you at last.

I'm pretty famous in this district,

You needn't say, B*tch.

Hey, I'm only making a living,

you needn't hurt me by saying so.

B*tch.

Bastard.

B*tch...

Bastard...

Competition of Supreme Chef of HK

is now starting.

Let's have the honor of our judge

tonight, "God of Cookery".

"God of Cookery"

will taste our first entry.

"King's Fired Rice" prepared by

Tai Long from Lung Fung Restaurant.

Good, you manage to steam the rice

stuffed inside a shrimp...

...and seasoned by First Class

abalone juice, then fried with bird nest.

At first glance,

this is common fried rice.

but in fact,

it shows highest techniques,

you deserve being

called the "King of Frying".

However, the vaporized water

made the rice too soft.

You've ignored the most

basic technique of frying rice.

You must use over-night rice

for frying rice, "King of Frying".

Your rank:
zero!

The next entry is "Multi-fish"

cooked by Lau Sam of Kam Kong Restaurant.

The ingredients include somei,

garoupa and three other fish,

then reshape as a whole fish,

one side to be steamed

and other to be deep-fried.

Each kind of fish receives two flavors,

and altogether with

ten different flavors.

This fish is really...

...It's like being radiated,

I just want to vomit.

Ask me to eat? Your rank:

zero, go home and review yourself.

I...

You're too dummy.

Not dummy, you've made extra fish.

You... you've made extra fish.

The next entry is "Golden Robe"

by Chan Tung of Royal Restaurant.

This vegetarian dish

shows the cutting techniques.

How long did you spend

in carving the bean curd?

One whole day.

But you know it's become pungent,

can't you smell that?

Yes, I do.

But this dish mainly

shows my fast carving skills.

Please show us your left hand.

and now your middle finger.

You've cut your finger, Fast Chopper.

Terrific!

Now the remaining entry

is "Secret Roast Goose"

by Yeung Chun Tin

of Five Rams Restaurant.

It's seems he'll surely

get the championship title.

It's already cold,

your rank:
zero, Finish.

Hold it.

Since it's called "Secret Roast Goose",

there must be some secret.

In fact, we only eat

the paddy bird inside.

Those paddy birds have absorbed

the flavor of the goose,

and were kept warm.

It's perfect to eat them now.

I've taken every detail into account.

"God of Cookery",

you have nothing to complain of now?

Great! The Supreme Cook

of Hong Kong is born now.

Hold it.

His rank is still zero.

What?

No way.

Why?

It's too ugly.

Impossible, I've specially

selected the paddy birds.

They're all pretty and tasty.

I don't mean the paddy birds,

I mean you.

I'm ugly?

What has it got to do

with my appearance?

Sure, how can I have appetite

when I see your appearance?

Therefore I dare not look at you.

But it's not a fault being ugly.

Sure, being a chef,

you must be considerate for the guests.

Even female stars in porn movies must

get plastic surgery on their busts.

Though you have potential,

you need surgery for your face first.

Please open his hands.

I never expected "God of Cookery"

is so demanding.

Then how can we make

a totally perfect dish?

When talking about cooking,

we count on one word...

This Rainbow with Flowers

is my dessert for you tonight

...and the word is: heart.

Right, we must rely on our heart

to make the perfect dish.

Very delicious.

He's proud, but humble

at the same time.

He tries not to be famous,

but is admired by everybody.

He's made good use of fire,

the gift to human from God.

He can make the super dishes,

real art of fire.

Is he a fairy from heavens?

Or is he Satan from hell?

No one will know.

But one thing is sure,

everyone addresses him as:

"God of Cookery"

You only need to mention

I'm fairy from heavens.

Why say I'm Satan from hell?

Is hell related to me?

I wanted to add a little

bit of mystery to you.

You meant to?

Have you considered me?

A little bit of mystery? Damn you!

A darkened screen with a spotlight on you

such that you look like a ghost.

Don't you think this

is mystery enough?

I'm not shooting horrible movies, man.

But the Director wants that.

Hire an assassin to kill that Director

and then you.

With such a rubbish Director,

and such a lousy MC as you.

You both conspire to play me a fool.

Are you playing me a fool?

Sorry, I guarantee to write

the script properly next time.

Rubbish, you are useless guy.

I'll go and amend it at once.

Remember, you're no more than rubbish,

roll back home instantly.

My dear fellows.

You've all done a hard job.

We should

It's our duty...

Mr. Tai.

We all understand that, "God of Cookery".

It's my pleasure... Mr. Lau, thanks...

I learn a lot from you.

I should do this

You've made extra fish, you...

How long have you practiced?

Extra fish.

Just tell us if you need any help.

Sure I will...

Thanks for your commission.

You know you've taken my commission?

You know you've take my money, right?

Then you shouldn't shout

that out loudly there.

I'm so absorbed that I've announced it.

Mr. Yeung, shouting

doesn't mean good acting.

You did shout that "very delicious"

ironically and pejoratively.

Even a blind person knows you're only acting.

I was sucking with your acrylic

and dioxide solution.

Of course the acrylic

and dioxide solution,

otherwise I couldn't write that out.

You should know this stuff well.

This is a really hard chore, this stuff.

Sure this is

you're to take up this hard chore

how dare you challenge me?

You think you're really capable?

If you're capable,

you'll be standing in my position

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