The Gods Must Be Crazy Page #2

Then he shouted,

``Look out! Look out!``

But he spoke too late and

the thing felled his daughter Dani.

Xi carried the thing away

from the shelter and buried it.

That evening, there was no laughter

and no chatter around the family fire.

A strange feeling of shame

had come over the family...

...and they were very quiet.

Xi said, ``I have buried the thing.

It will not make us unhappy again. ``

That night, a hyena smelled the blood

on the thing, and dug it up.

A bad-tempered warthog chased the

hyena away and it dropped the thing.

The next day, Dani found it.

Her brother Toma heard her playing on it

and said, ``Let me try. Let me try too. ``

That night the family was very unhappy.

They began to talk about this thing.

They did not have a name for it.

They called it the ``evil thing. ``

Gaboo said, ``Perhaps the gods

were absent-minded...

...when they dropped

the evil thing on the earth.

They`ve always sent only good things,

like rain, trees, roots and berries to eat.

We are their children and they love us.

But now they`ve sent this evil thing. ``

Xi said, ``The thing does not

belong on the earth.

Tomorrow I will take it to the end

of the earth and throw it off. ``

Gobo said, ``I think the end of the earth

must be very far.

I think you`ll have to walk

for 20 days. Perhaps 40. ``

Xi said,

``I will start walking tomorrow. ``

Two thousand miles to the north

in the state of Birani...

...trouble was brewing.

It`s 35 miIIion to combat erosion

in the vaIIey.

-And 6 miIIion for improvement of the--

-HoId it, minister. We can`t expect--

Get out. We need the car.

That was Sam Boga`s gang.

You said they were in Cabinda.

-That`s what I thought.

-How many got away?

There were two jeeps.

Four got away.

-Sam Boga was there?

-No.

This time, he`s got to die.

Find him and kiII him yourseIf.

Bring him here.

Where is Sam Boga?

Where is your hideout?

Bring the one in the corridor.

Bring that one.

Where is Sam Boga?

Where is your hideout?

Take them...

...to the heIicopter.

They went south.

-I`II direct you from the heIicopter.

-Yes, sir.

Gas guzzIer.

Four of the eight assassins

got away in two jeeps.

The other four were shot in the

Cabinet room by the security guards.

-Bastards.

-The assassins wore brown T-shirts...

...the trademark

of the terrorist gang...

...led by the notorious Sam Boga.

However, eyewitnesses state Sam Boga

did not take part in the assassination.

It is assumed that he masterminded the

attack, some distance from the capital.

Sources announced

that the assassins killed...

...the ministers of education,

public works and agriculture.

The president, who survived the hail

of bullets with only a flesh wound...

...will be addressing the nation

in a few moments.

We did it! We did it! We got the

president, and five of his ministers!

You didn`t, you know. That`s him.

It was the wiII of the AImighty

that I was spared.

We mourn the deaths

of three members...

...of my Cabinet.

We extend our deepest sympathies--

He`s Iying. We got six.

I saw them go down.

You kiIIed three and wounded five.

And you Iost four.

Why do I have to work with

amateurs? Did you get away cIean?

Yes, we were in and out in two

minutes. They wiII never find us.

Attention.

-What happened?

-We ran out of gas.

-How Iong ago?

-About 1 5 minutes, sir.

Okay, Iet`s go!

Now, you teII me.

Where is Sam Boga?

Where is your hideout?

Next time you`re going

to be a bit higher.

I`II teII you, I`II teII you!

The banana forest at Dumgaze.

I`II teII you, I`II teII you! I`II show you.

The banana forest at Dumgaze.

I`II teII you. I`II show you where.

-Do you hear me?

-Right here, generaI.

-Banana forest at Dumgaze. Follow me.

-Right, generaI.

The man we want is the president,

not the bIoody minister of education.

Understand? I`II come with you.

We`II get him in his bed.

Cover up! Cover up!

Come on. Mount the bazooka.

Move it, move it!

Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up!

Now take cover. You, you go there.

Not there, you bIoody fooI.

Get out of there.

-WeII?

-They`re there. They`re there.

You cannot see them,

but they`re there.

Okay.

You see, there they are.

Okay. No, hoId it.

Okay. Sh*t.

Cut it out, man!

Okay.

-Born to be our champion.

-You showed them.

-BeautifuI, man.

-Hey.

Quiet.

Stand by.

Let`s go.

The most inquisitive creature

in Africa is the baboon.

Xi said,

``That is a very evil thing you`ve got.

You better give it back so I can

take it and throw it off the earth.

It brought unhappiness to my family.

If you don`t give it to me...

...it`ll bring grief to you

and your family too. ``

He spoke long and earnestly until

the baboon began to pay attention.

He must have convinced it,

and it dropped the thing.

And Xi said,

``You have done a very wise thing. ``

-So you want to go to Botswana?

-I want to get away from all this.

But in the Kalahari?

Mom, it`s not in the Kalahari.

Botswana isn`t all desert.

Get in there. Why do they put the

nuts where you can`t get at them?

Right in my bIoody face.

Every year I have to Iay here

on my back.

Keep it down a bit, Mpudi.

I`m trying to tune the scanner.

Okay, Mpudi. Go ahead.

Every year you come here with a bigger

and better tent and equipment.

And every year, you turn up with this

and I have to work my ass off.

That`s funny. This eIephant`s dung

shows a compIete Iack of boron.

HeIIo, Reverend.

What are you doing on a horse?

I hit a rock with my crankcase.

Cracked it wide open.

The troubIe is, I have to meet the

new schooIteacher at MabuIa.

You can have that one,

but she`s in a terribIe shape.

We`ve been knocking around

in the HamaduIas.

I promised Mpudi that I`d work here,

so he couId have a week to patch it.

Here, Reverend.

-Thank you.

-Get in there, you bIoody--

Morning, Mpudi.

Morning, Mpudi.

-Morning.

-WiII this make it to MabuIa and back?

She`s gonna be a bastard to start.

Sorry, Reverend.

-I put in new rings and they`re tight.

-But wiII she make it?

You said I couId have a whoIe week.

This is an emergency. We want to know

if she`II make it to MabuIa and back.

I haven`t Iooked at the brakes

or steering gear.

-Mpudi.

-Okay, she`II make it.

As soon as I connect the steering

rack, but she`II be a bastard to start.

There we are, Reverend.

Then she`II be aII yours.

I don`t think I can handIe her.

I hear Mpudi caIIs her the antichrist.

WeII, she is a thing.

I was hoping-- I was ho--

-I was hoping you couId go.

-I`m very awkward around women.

-Yes, aren`t we aII?

-No, it`s not Iike that.

When I`m in the presence of a Iady,

my brain switches off or something.

-I turn into an idiot.

-You ought to meet more women.

-It onIy gets worse.

-But you wiII do this for me?

Come on, Prince. Come on. Go, boy.

Come on, boy.

Come on, come on. Okay.

Okay.

Son of a--

Choke. Choke, choke, choke, choke.

You tried to murder me,

you son of a--

Don`t switch her off or Iet her staII.

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