The Gods Must Be Crazy II

Anyone else would die of thirst

in a few days. In this arid desert...

... that looks like a paradise,

there's no surface water.

But the slender, graceful

Bushmen of the Kalahari...

... live here contentedly and in complete

harmony with their environment.

They have lived undisturbed for

... the only people in the world who know

how to live without surface water.

When ivory poachers in high-tech

vehicles intrude into this thirst-land...

... to hunt elephant, they have to drag

reservoirs of water with them.

And when the water runs low they have to

hightail it out of the Kalahari again.

So the Bushmen work and play

in peaceful isolation unaware...

... of the crowded, hectic

world outside their domain...

...and even of the wars that are fought

on the very fringes of the Kalahari.

Sometimes Xixo tells about the time

he looked for the end of the Earth...

...and about the strange,

heavy people he met...

...but it's difficult to describe

those who live outside the Kalahari.

He always ends by saying the heavy

people know some magic...

... that can make things move

and even fly, but they're not bright...

...because they can't survive without

their magic contrivances.

In the mornings, they like

to read the news.

They can read that

the hyena has a new girlfriend...

... the cheetah has lost a baby,

and the oryx is migrating to the west.

Older children teach younger ones how

to read the gossip about the animals...

...because everything that happens in the

Kalahari gets printed out in the sand.

It's all printed out here. This is where

they started infringing on the patent.

Give it to me there.

Now, that I can present in court.

Go back to frame A.

And give me sales.

Cathy, will you take this?

Take him off.

Now, cost per unit.

And a printout on that.

Mr. Geoffrey says he has to go to

Hong Kong about the takeover.

- Tell him, '' Have a good flight.''

- He won't make the ECACL conference.

- He can't do that to me.

- He'd like you to read the paper.

You did the research,

so you deserve the honour.

I have to take this case

to court on Wednesday.

- Says you'll be back before Wednesday.

- Oh, boy.

That morning,

Xabe came with the news that...

... the animals are moving towards

the marula groves in the north.

He shouted, ''The marulas are ripe.

Let's go collect some. ''

Xisa and little Xiri ran up

and said, ''Can we come too?''

Xixo said, ''Let's see if you're big

enough. If you're taller than my bow...

... the hyena will be afraid and stay

away. If you're shorter, he'll take you. ''

But Xiri said, ''Please let me come too. ''

And Xisa said,

''I promise I'll always stay close to him. ''

- Where is the conference this year?

- In Okakarara.

- Where's that, Nebraska?

- No, Africa.

Oh, boy.

They gathered a lot of marulas

and on the way home they found...

... the spoor of a wounded elephant.

Xixo said, ''This elephant is

very weak. It's going to die. ''

He said to Xisa,

''You and Xiri can go on home.

Tell your mother we will come

when we've found the sick elephant. ''

There was a very strange

and beautiful pattern on the ground.

Xisa couldn't read it. She'd never

seen anything like it in her life.

There was another

as beautiful as the first.

She wondered how anything could make

such a long, unbroken track.

She followed the track and saw

a very strange-looking thing.

She said,

''This thing went round and round...

...and that's how it made such a long

pattern without footprints. ''

Xiri saw a beautiful dewdrop grow,

and when it dropped...

...another one began to grow in its place.

They knew the gods put

dewdrops on plants in the night.

But here they could see

a dewdrop form in broad daylight.

Xisa said,

''I think this thing is making the water. ''

Xiri had never seen

so much water in his life.

He didn't know there was

so much water in the whole world.

They found the elephant and saw

the tiny wounds that had made it die.

The tracks told Xixo the

heavy people had been there...

...but wondered why they took the

useless tusks and left the meat to rot.

He said,

''The heavy people are strange. ''

Bo said, ''I'll call Xabo's family

to help us eat it.

If I run all day and night

I can find them by tomorrow. ''

Xixo said, ''We'll go call our family. ''

There were many tusks. It takes the gods

more than a man's lifetime...

... to make a full-grown elephant, and it

horrified them to see so many had died.

Xixo and Xabe found the place where Xisa

and Xiri's tracks suddenly stopped.

Xixo said, ''Xisa climbed onto the thing.

Xiri went up too, and it took them away. ''

He said, ''Tell our family they must

start eating the dead elephant.

I'll fetch Xisa and Xiri. ''

Sorry about the short notice,

but we're honoured to have you.

Thank you. I would've

liked the safari tour...

- ...but I have to prepare my presentation.

- You'll be all right?

- I'll be fine, thank you.

- Good. I'll leave you to it.

- You know where Stephen's working?

- I think I've got a rough idea.

- You may have to search around a bit.

- Right.

- And Jack?

- Yeah?

Tell Stephen we'll send the rest

of the stuff out to him later.

What's a nice girl like you

doing in a place like this?

- Oh, boy.

- You don't buy it.

Okay, I'll try again.

- Hi. Like to come fly with me?

- I have to work. That's why no safari trip.

Trip's three hours.

I could show you Africa in half an hour.

I have to present this at 3:30.

- Only half an hour?

- Yes, doctor.

- So, what are you, a doctor of medicine?

- No, corporate law.

- What a tiny plane.

- We got a smaller one but we can't find it.

- Can it fly?

- In you go.

- What are those?

- Buffalo.

Look, no hands. Flies by itself.

Safest plane in the world.

- Coffee.

- Morning, boss.

- You only done 80 miles.

- Yeah, I slept a little bit.

- You stopped.

- I was bushed. So I pulled up and...

- You slept more than four hours.

- I was real pooped.

- I told you we're late.

- I was really pooped, boss.

- Move over.

- It's okay, boss. I'm fresh now.

Jeez, boss.

Lazy bastard.

- Get back to sleep.

- I'm wide-awake now.

- Sleep.

- Yes, boss.

I'll be right back.

- Hi, Stephen.

- Hi. Thanks.

You're cutting it fine.

There's a hell of a cumulus building up.

One of those thermals grabs you,

it's gonna whip you right to 20,000 feet.

- See you later.

- Stephen, is Geoff there yet? Over.

Hi, Bob. Yes, he's here. Over.

Can you fly back in with him?

We found a sick baby giraffe.

We need your advice. Over.

Okay. Out.

- You can't cart your floozies around.

- She's not a floozy.

- Hi.

- Morning.

Do you do some kind

of work around here?

Hello, Stephen. Come in. Over.

Stephen, are you there? Over.

- Stephen, come in. Over.

- Hi, Bob. This is Jack. Over.

Jack, don't take off yet. There's

a freak storm moving in very fast. Over.

- Bob, they've just taken off. Over.

- They? Someone is with him? Over.

- Yes. Over.

- Who? Over.

- There was this young lady. Over.

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