The Gods Must Be Crazy II Page #2

- Was she with you? Over.

- Sort of. Over.

- Boy, you're in trouble. Over.

Over.

Xixo's old friend Waka was looking

at the tracks the heavy people made.

Xixo greeted him and said his children

were in the thing that made the tracks.

Waka greeted him back and said,

''I'll come with you to find your children. ''

But Xixo said,

''There's a dead elephant back there.

Go with your family

to help my family eat it. ''

They stopped.

- There's whiskey under your seat.

- I'm okay.

- Give it to me.

- You gonna start drinking?

Give me.

Can this thing fly on Scotch?

George.

Boss?

Take over.

Xisa said,

''When this thing gets tired it will rest.

Then we can follow the tracks

back home. ''

Running out of Scotch.

This any good?

We're flying backwards.

I have to read my paper at 3:30.

How do I get back? We have to find

a road so I can hitch a ride.

So which way to the nearest road?

- This is baobab country.

- It can speak.

- We're at least 300 miles from base.

- Oh, boy.

Maybe more.

- I'm sorry.

- Any time.

- I have to get to a phone.

- I don't even know what country we're in.

Hey!

- What?

- They're not scared of me.

- So?

- They don't know about people.

- We're in the deep Kalahari.

- Will they find us?

- Eventually.

- How long is eventually?

Maybe a day, maybe a week.

I have to be back in New York

on Wednesday.

- You're from New York?

- I have to survive here for a week?

Anyone who can survive

in New York can survive here.

- We'll starve to death.

- There's enough food around here.

Our problem will be water.

All we have is that six-pack up there.

They were getting thirsty, but they knew

where there was plenty of water.

She said,

''No, I'm too heavy to pull up.

Come down here so you can push

me up. Then I can pull you up. ''

Xiri had never been in water in his life...

...but soon got used to it

and quite enjoyed it.

Is that water?

- Petrol. Gas.

- So?

If I can get this down, we can fly out.

Today?

I have to take it apart,

bring it down, assemble it again.

- Eventually.

- Maybe by tomorrow, the next day.

Was that a lion?

- I can hear them.

- Let down the rope. I want to get up.

- They won't bother us.

- You're okay.

- They're bothering me down here.

- They're not coming this way.

What about eventually?

Don't bother them,

they won't bother you.

- And if they're hungry?

- They're far from here.

- It's swarming with wild animals here.

- Don't bother them, they won't bother you.

I'm not bothering them.

This one is drooling at me.

- It's a hyena. They're always drooling.

- So?

Ignore him. Don't smile at him.

He sees your teeth...

- ...he might think you're threatening him.

- Let me get up.

- You're enjoying this.

- Yeah.

- Why don't you relax and enjoy it too?

- Enjoy?

- Wild animals, no food, no water.

- No room service.

Yeah, no plumbing.

What I need is plumbing. Now.

- Go behind that thicket.

- Alone? The lions are that way.

- They're very far, and if you don't bother--

- They won't bother me. I know, I know.

- How do I get down?

- How'd you get up there?

- The lion was roaring.

- Wasn't a lion.

It was a hyena sounding off.

Right.

Now, just a minute. Turn your back.

- Pull me up.

- I can't. Friction.

Then let me down.

- Stop.

- What do you want me to do?

- Don't look at me.

- I'm not. What do you want me to do?

Let me down.

What's so funny?

Okay, I won't bother you, see?

So don't you bother me.

- Watch it!

- Go away!

Run, run, run, run, run, run.

Get up a tree!

You okay?

- You said if I didn't bother them...

- I see there's a baby rhino.

Maybe the mother thought you

were molesting it.

I only talked to it.

I didn't even smile at it.

- They're going away.

- I'm not coming down...

- ...before you can fly me out of here.

- There's no plumbing up there.

- You thirsty?

- Yes.

- Right, you can have half a beer.

- Great.

- Don't open it yet.

- Sorry. Oh, my goodness.

Sorry. What did I do wrong?

Well, it's warm. Drink it now.

Right. It's getting late.

We have to find food before it gets dark.

I saw an ostrich nest.

- Do they bite?

- No, they kick. But they aren't very bright.

You lie down flat, he can't see you.

That's the male. He guards the eggs.

- But if you can distract him...

- How do I distract a male ostrich?

Lie down flat!

Xixo thought he saw

his children's footprints...

...but it was only a baboon

that had walked past.

- So, what went wrong?

- Nothing. We got the egg.

You mean that was standard procedure?

Got a match?

The thing came back. I'm sorry.

- You got a match?

- I got a lighter.

Big Ben calling Ramjee. Big Ben

calling Ramjee. Do you read me?

Ramjee, come in. Big Ben calling.

- Come in, Ramjee. Still out of range.

- Maybe they're not there yet.

He said he'd meet us on the ninth.

That's yesterday.

Sorry, boss.

--10, 000 people will attend the opening.

Although nine helicopters...

...and four spotter planes are taking part,

no sign of Dr. Marshall and Dr. Taylor.

- Was that us?

- I suppose so.

- Doctor of what?

- Zoology.

- You?

- Law.

- We have to watch that guy.

- Hyena?

He's a coward. If you're taller

than him, he'll keep his distance.

But if you lie down he'll sneak up

and take a chunk out of your leg.

Take first watch.

Call me when the moon gets there...

...I'll take it to there,

then you take it to first light.

Coming down.

- I'm ready.

- For what?

You only jumped 25 centimetres.

What happened to standard procedure?

Maybe next time.

- Where we gonna take off from?

- There's a saltpan three miles from here.

How many blocks is that?

Keep the sun over your right shoulder.

Stay clear of low branches.

- What?

- It's that damn rhino.

It's a male. It's harmless.

Why are you always climbing up trees?

I'm not a doctor of zoology.

How do I know about males and females?

Damn near wrecked the nose wheel.

Give me slack.

- You only jumped 124 centimetres.

- These things are dangerous.

It's very small.

- When it grabs hold it never lets go.

- Kind of cute.

Hey. No!

- Now we've got a flat.

- What do I do with this?

- Why don't you throw it away?

- It'll just come right back.

Can you change the tyre?

- Can you undo my boot?

- Why?

It's the one that stepped on him.

If I give it to him, he can have his revenge.

- Is there enough gas to take us back?

- If we get it off the ground.

- No, it won't work.

- Can't you fix it?

No pump.

You wanna be the wheel.

You're crazy.

You see that stick?

When I shout, bring it this way.

- I can't fly.

- It'll lift your side, then centre up.

When I shout again, pull back.

Bring it over, centre, pull back.

- Then what?

- I'll take over.

But I can't even drive a manual.

Do you wanna kill us both?

You're nuts. I can't fly.

Do you hear me?

- I can't fly a plane.

- Throttles.

- What?

- Shiny ones, push them forward.

Here we go.

- Come on. Stick it back. Centre up.

- I told you I can't fly.

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